I Knew One Day ......

My granddaughter is turning 16 this year.  And while I was dreading this moment for her, I've realized that it was bound to happen.  She's been asking questions about "her real dad".  She decided to ask me, because her mom hasn't been too forthcoming with information.  Of course, I got permission from her mom to talk with her about this man.  All these years, we've just referred to him as a sperm donor.  Because he hasn't ever been interested in her or to be a part of her life. 

It's weird to go back so many years and try to recall all the why's and what-happened's. 
But I'm trying to find a way to make it both interesting and truthful.  The first thing I told her is that I'll only call him by his name.  In no way has he ever been a "dad" to her.  I'm also reassuring her that this man is not "the other half" of her; that who we are comes from the people who have loved us, nurtured and cared for us as we're growing up.  A dad is someone who loves unconditionally and is a part of their child's life. 

It sure isn't easy dredging up all the
old thoughts, but my granddaughter
is worth it,
so it needs to be done.

Wish me luck!

Be Still My Heart

As it is every morning (on a work day), I rolled out of bed and got ready for the day.  Walking Sadie around the block (it's 1/3 mile) - it's what I do every day before I leave for work.  Today was no different.

We arrived back home, and I began gathering my things for lunch when I heard a knock at the front door.  Who the Hell? At this hour??   Sadie goes nuts, barking and carrying on.  I get a little nervous and peek out the window - some guy with long hair.  Not one of my neighbors, but could it be one of those sales people???? Ugh.  I didn't do anything, just stood, waiting, hoping he would go away.



Then I heard the doorknob rattle!!
And I freak.
I grabbed the knob, locking the lock and
slamming the dead bolt into place.
Then I grabbed my phone from my pocket
as I hollered "GO AWAY!!!"



The next thing I hear is "Hey Mommmmmmmmm" .

O.M.G.

It's my son.

I tried to laugh, but the adrenaline is pumping through me.
My hands and legs are still shaky.
Yeah, going to work isn't going to happen just yet.

It took about 20 minutes before I could start on my way to work.
That's definitely not the way to jump start your day!
I had to grab a Diet Coke as soon as I got to work!!!