Another Hard Day

Here it is, another difficult day.  One year ago today, my beautiful sister lost her three year long battle with pancreatic cancer.  She fought a really good fight with everything she had.  She smiled through all of the hard stuff, the chemo treatments, some cryo surgery.  She also knocked a few things off her bucket list - trips with friends to Ireland, to Paris, and some beach trips on the California coast.  We all miss her every day.

Losing a loved one is never easy.  I always considered myself lucky because I was nearly 60 years old before I started losing loved ones.  My maternal grandfather lived to be 104 and my paternal grandmother was 95.   So I found myself learning how to grieve at a late age.  

We hear talk about the circle of life. And I think I'm one of the odd ones who doesn't grieve the way most do.  There hasn't been a lot of wailing or heavy sobbing.  Sometimes the tears well up but the crying jags only last a few moments.  We all cope with it differently, but there's no doubt that we all feel the sadness that comes with loss.  And while we miss our loved ones, it should also serve as a reminder about how precious life is, and that we need to keep living in the moment, enjoying life every single day. 

Self Care isn't Selfish

When you're cranky and cry easily, when you are so tired that your eyes burn from keeping them open, when you need hugs and someone to pat the top of your head and whisper "Shh ... there, there .... " and there's no one around, what do you reach for??

We all have some sort of comfort foods that bring immediate relief. foods that we reach for.  For me, about once a year I just *have* to have those little pink and white animal cookies!  And sometimes it's a hot bowl of chicken noodle soup! When I was a kid, it was Campbell's bean with bacon soup and a grilled cheese sandwich!  

But there are other things we also can do that gives us some comfort, like a favorite pair of flannel jammies.  There's nothing better than crawling into them after a long hard day!!  Or slipping into a warm bubble bath.   It's just a matter of finding what works for you, and then doing it ---- without feeling any guilt about what we're doing for ourselves!  

We all need time away from family pressures, work pressures, money pressures.  Putting yourself on the top of your to-do list without feeling guilty about it reminds you that your mental and physical health are your top priority.  Finding what works for you to relieve the pressure even if it's only for a few minutes, is important.  If you're feeling empty or pressured, it's hard to take care of others.