Make Time for You

 How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.  But do you ever get to the end of your day and think "What exactly did I do today???"   We've all had those kinds of days - days where things seem to get away from us, ad by the end of it all, we realize that we didn't accomplish those pesky things on our TO DO list.    

A few years back, I was raising six kids and seemed to be able to get everything done, everything remembered, without making a list -- well, without writing down the list.  I've always made mental lists!  But as time has gone on, it seems there are more things to remember, and less mental capacity to actually do the remembering!  Ahh the joys of growing older.     And yet, I still have days where I wonder what I did all day.   But rather than wonder, I decided to start making a list of all the things I could remember doing all day.  And while it wasn't all the things on the planned TO DO list, I didn't just sit around watching Netflix and eating bon-bons. 

If you're like me, your TO DO  list looks a lot like mine:  Work stuff (meetings, research, writing) , Errands (banking, library, gas station) , Children (school, lessons, scouts) , Appointments (health, fitness, car repairs) , Shopping (food, clothing, drugstore) , Home (cleaning, laundry, cooking).   You get the idea.  But what's missing from that list?   The topic of Personal, those things that we need time for:  inspiration, reflection, relaxation, grooming, crafts.  

When it comes to finding time for yourself, one of the "tricks" I learned was to make sure my kids helped out in daily chores.  Because there were six of them, we rotated tasks.  One set the table, another helped cook dinner, two more would wash and dry dishes after a meal, one took out the garbage ... you get the picture.  But just those little tasks added up to less things I had to do myself, giving me extra minutes to use for myself later in the evening.  There we also lots of other benefits as well for the kids, who are now thriving adults.

So the next time you're making your daily or weekly TO DO list, make sure that the Personal category isn't listed last.  I've learned over the years that if we don't take care of ourselves, there's nothing left to give to others.  You matter.  We all matter.  Make time for you.  You're worth it.

The Bigger Picture

Carl Jung said:  "But if you have nothing at all to create, then perhaps you create yourself."  Each day that we live becomes a part of the bigger picture of us.  What you do on a certain day may not stand out as something that is shaping your future, but it's a lot like building blocks.  Each block is only a certain size, but when stacked together, they create something altogether different.  And so it is with our lives. 

Many things shape us in our growing up years.  Think back on yours.  Do you have something that stands out?  For me, now that I'm older, I have come to realize that the music my parents listened to helped shape me. They were country music fans, and the words to a country music song can really speak to a person.  I may have been raised in church where we learned that we should marry someone for the rest of our lives.  But Tammy Wynette sang "Stand by Your Man".  That said it all!   Lyrics to country songs shaped me.  I sang along with them all, and those words wove their way into the fabric of my life.  

I can remember a vacation, we were driving from California to Minnesota in a 1963 Rambler, with no AC, and it was a very warm summer.  We were cruising through a town, all the windows were down, and we were singing along "We'll sing in the sunshine, we'll laugh every day, we'll sing in the sunshine, then I'll be on my way."   I can remember that I was wearing shorts, and my bright red Keds. 

In my 20s, there were other events that shaped me.  Having a car, a job and having babies changed my focus, but it still created a part of who I am today.  My kids are grown and I'm still as fierce as a mama bear when it comes to their well being! 

Make sure that you're aware of what you do on a daily basis, and know that it will have impact later in your life, in some way, whether it's big or small.  When we follow our authentic path with love, embracing our creative impulses, we live truth even if what we think we're doing is "just" planting a flower bed, cooking a meal, editing a book, sewing a curtain, painting a picture.   As the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, poet, and writer Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us "Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with truth."