Commitment

In 2022 my focus word for the year was accountability.

In 2023 my focus word for the year was purpose.

In 2024 my focus word for the year was intentional.

Now I need to choose this year's word. 

And I'm choosing commitment. 

I sometimes struggle with making a commitment, even to myself, because I often fall short of following through. In order to make this choice a success, I plan to start with smaller commitments. The first one being to myself in going to the gym.  Because its needed. And because I feel better when I go. I will struggle, and won't beat myself up for it, I will just renew my commitment.  

For me, choosing a word, rather than a new years resolution, works better.  

Bah Humbug

Its been a few days, and I haven't written because I got lost in a funk.  I was certain that this being the first year I didn't work holiday in retail, that I would be able to enjoy them.  Not.  

So the problem wasn't just the holiday crap at work, a part of it is me.  There's not much I enjoy about the holidays any longer, and can probably pinpoint it to the first Christmas I was alone for the holidays. 

 I had separated from my husband in August (97) and my kids were going to AZ to be with their dad.  So it was my first holiday alone.  Growing up we had standing traditions that never changed.  So on Christmas Eve I loaded packages in the car and headed over to Mom's to drop them off and head to church with them. Only I was informed that they weren't going to church, they were invited to my sister's.  Ok, I said, and left.

I spent Christmas Day at the local pool hall, sipping beers and shooting pool with other folks who were alone for the holiday.  I was grateful there was work the next day. 

Life can become so complicated at times.  My mother has no clue.  So I blame it on working retail and let it go.

Bah Humbug.