What If's and Regrets

How many times do we think back over something we said, or some event that went wrong, and think "what if ..... " ?  There are so many times, if you're like me, where we think and re-think something that could have gone better if only we had done or said something different.  It's really hard to let go of some of those things where we might have had better control if only ... .

There have been times in my working life where I could have controlled my tongue or my emotions better. For me, it's easy to get into the "groove" being too open or outspoken with someone I consider a friend, but is technically a boss.  And of course, there's the down side of showing every feeling and emotion on my face!   I am definitely not a good poker player!  I'm better than I was 20 years ago, thankfully.  

There are times when I find myself getting into a really deep groove, more like a rut, thinking about the what if's in my past.  I know I have/hold a lot of animosity regarding my own family.  There are things that have happened and it has created hostilities in some areas.  For example, why are people so funny about money??  There was a situation where the inheritance from my grandfather to his children was .... redirected .... to a grandson in totality.  My mother and her sister didn't receive any part of the inheritance.  And since then, the old family farmstead home has been razed, so no more family history there any longer.  Another one of those situations where you say "what if ??" 

Which brings me to current situations.  My parents had a life plan, and it isn't working out  how they planned it.  And I'm not sure how to go about getting some changes.  I don't want to be saying "what if" in another ten years!   So I'll be spending a week with my mom in the future, and hope we can spend some time having some real conversations so there won't be those what if's.  

So if you're on your road of life, and you have choices to make, think them through, and /or go with your gut instinct if that's something you trust, so that later in life, you won't have any of the "what if's" that get stuck in your head! 

Happy Natal Day

 Today I turn 63 years old.  And in my old age, I find myself being more ... thoughtful, as in thinking about things in the past, reminiscing along with thoughts about all the changes that have happened in my lifetime.  

We've gone from a corded phone that hung on the wall, to cordless phones so that we could wander within the house, to cell phones that let you make calls from outside a house, to smart phones that let you do everything from anywhere! 

We've gone from a black and white TV that weighed 50+ lbs with tubes to color TVs to smart TVs that do everything our smart phones can do -- and sometimes more! 

A computer was a giant thing that was only found at IBM, to a personal type computer that sat on a desktop.  I can remember doing "upgrades" by installing additional memory and such so that it would work better, faster, easier, or something else.  Then it was from desktops to lap tops to tablets and ultimately back to the smart phone because we can do so much on them.  I laugh because the first laptop I bought for myself was around $2k.  And now, gee whiz the technology that we've seen in the last 50 years has been incredible!!  

I can remember being in the 4th grade and we were discussing the possibility of cities being under some kind of domes because of pollution.  There was also talk about flying cars - just like we watched in the Jetsons cartoon!  Here we are 50+ years later and none of that has happened.  Yet.

Vehicles have certainly changed.  Cars got bigger in the late 60s and 70s, and then began growing smaller after that.  Back then gas was 35cents a gallon.  I can remember Dad filling up at the Shell Station on the corner of Bowers and El Camino in Santa Clara.  He'd fill the tank and then get a free steak knife, or a free smokey grey highball glass with the Raiders or 49ers logo on them.  And I'm quite certain Mom still has a complete set for each team sitting on the shelf under the bar!!  

Then there was the gas crisis/shortage in the early 80s, and we'd wait in lines at gas stations to fill our tanks -- even and odd days, depending on the digits of your license plate, was the day you could get in line for a fill up!   And today, the current gas price as I cruised past the station is $4.69/gallon. 

Sometimes I wonder what the kids who are just entering adulthood will think about in 50 more years! What changes will they see??  

And who can forget the entire pandemic that didn't just affect us here in the US, but all over the world??  It's still affecting people, and things, and the way we live our lives.  The pandemic brought panic purchases and hoarding -- we were waiting in lines to be able to purchase just one pack of toilet paper and one pack of paper towels!  In all my years, I think the pandemic was the most stressful thing we've endured thus far.  When the reality of people getting sick and dying struck here in the US, and businesses were forced to find a way to keep going while getting workers to work remotely from home, the first few weeks were really unnerving.  People didn't go to out, the roads were incredibly empty.  I live in a suburban neighborhood, lots of homes for miles.  And yet as I'm staring out my front window, here comes a coyote walking down the center of the street.  Man! How I wished my camera had been in my hand!  

And yet, even with all the changes that have happened, people still fall in love, get married, have families, raise kids .... in short, they live life.   Life keeps going, we keep changing with all the things that have changed us.  Some good, some not so good.  But that's how life goes.  Good things happens.  Bad things happen.  But it's how we handle both the good and the bad that makes us into the wonderful, beautiful people we've all become!! 

Life is Good!

Happy Birthday to me!