Want Ads

In 1971, Honey Cone had a hit called Want Ads. It went "Wanted: young man, single and free... "

So what would your want ad say?

Would you list physical traits that are attractive to you??  Dark hair or light? Dark eyes or blue eyes? Tall? Facial hair?  I've had many crushes over my many years, some dark, some light, I'm not sure that matters very much.

Then there are the deal breakers: smoker? Drinker? Athletic? Couch potato?  Want kids or no kids?  Do you make a list of the things you like to do, such as hobbies?

What about character traits?  Obvious ones are kind, honest, sense of humor, and intelligence.  But how can you quantify those traits?  And do you have those same traits??

Then there's the adage that opposites attract,  but do they last?  And the other adage, that women are looking for a man like their dad? 

I was in my 30s and single when the internet started booming, and places like match .com were just starting up.  You uploaded a photo, and wrote a blurb about yourself, and included what type of mate you were looking for.  And yes, I heard of several who found mates that way, and have lasting marriages. 

Now that I'm older, has what I admire or like in a man changed?  What would I want to put in my ad?  I guess honesty and integrity would top the list. Being honest about the qualities he has, and the integrity to not just claim those qualities but actually live them. 

But I'm biased .... three strikes and I'm done looking. Doesn't stop the occasional wishing  though!

Why? Oh Why?

Much of life's troubles include the question why?  We always want the answers to this question.  As kids, we ask for something and Parent says "no" and kid asks WHY? It's been the same for many generations. Including the typical response "Because I said so"!

Over the years, I have asked many Whys?  An ex cheated, and the first question becomes why?  With the natural assumption that it had something to do with you.

My biggest why? was when my son died by suicide.  I will never get the answers to that one.  

My current why? has to do with growing up with my mother and what caused her to be the way she is.

It seems to be human nature to ask questions, to wonder why.  When we question things, sometimes we get answers,  breakthroughs, and other information. Critical thinking begins with asking why.  And yet when someone says something and the other person asks "Why?" we can feel threatened or offended. Its a simple question, and yet holds so much power behind it.

But after so many years, I have come to realize that we don't get answers to all our inevitable question of why.

But why???