don't ask, don't tell

The worst thing you can do is tell me a lie. One lie leads to another. But eventually, the lies that create a "house of cards" tends to crumble at some point. And that hurt is worse than anything else, at least for me.

I have had my shares of lies over the years. Two different marriages to men who cheat, and then tell all the lies that go with the cover-up have taken their toll on my trust and faith in males. While I still try and maintain my faith and trust in people, its not as strong as it used to be. I've been working on it, but it takes an effort, for sure.

While its easy to think about and take the path that involves the whole "whoa is me why did they all cheat on me what's wrong with me" train of thought, the point for today are lies. I guess the biggest question, and the reason for the title, is if you don't ask, and they don't tell, is it a lie? Is omitting information a lie? Or avoiding a topic altogether? Or the answer of "not now" without further explanation, without a reason why its not now? Or is a lie the giving of false information, hence nothing given, nothing lied about? dictionary.com defines lie as: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth. With that definition in mind, omissions are not really lies. However, Wikipedia adds this under Lying by Omission: a lie by omission occurs when an important fact is left out in order to foster a misconception. Lying by omission includes failures to correct pre-existing misconceptions.

With those definitions in mind, its all about finding balance. And boundaries. Limits even. And maybe a little boldness in asking questions, even if one isn't going to like the answer. Someone who avoids talking about an issue, a problem, a question asked of them, usually has some reason, something they don't want others to know. But dammit, when that's the case, a female's logic and reasoning goes over the top, and imagines all sorts of things. Maybe he has horns growing out of his head, or an extra toe on each foot, his sister is married to his ex wife's brother, his mother is really his aunt...................... well, you get the idea.