Shower Meditation

Why do we let our own feelings "run amok" based on someone else?

I've found myself doing that today, and I'm trying to fight them off:  feelings of being inferior, and a little bit of mad thrown in as well.

I'm just a hard working blue collar average jane.  I don't have a lot of money, no high powered job, I'm certainly not very "professional" in my career choice.  But I have my pride, and I pay my own way.

A situation came up and another person stepped in to "pay my way" in order for me to engage in this situation.  And it got my back all up, pissed me off, and I'm not really sure why.  (I'm sure it didn't help my own attitude that I was tired from a sleepless "Ka-boom" night!)  I mean, for someone to step in and offer money - most people would be grateful.  Maybe it isn't really the money itself, maybe it's the attitude that went with it all that bothers me.  This other person has always had money, and maybe that's part of my grievance.  It's easy to splash dollars around when you have them, and maybe it even makes this person feel good.  But that's not how it felt to me.

So I refused, I didn't like feeling like I was being "bought off".  Sadly, I've watched this person use money in that way for a lot of years, sort of the "here, I don't have time, but take this $20, hope it helps".  And I'm sorry to say that I let that person's attitude and gesture affect my entire day.  And since it's 6pm, obviously affecting my evening as well.

My old "go to" for a bad mood was chocolate, and lots of it!  But since I started this new diet and exercise lifestyle, doing that could undo a lot of good I've done in the past 20 days.

I think I'm going to try one of the ideas I heard about:  while I'm in the shower tonight, I'm going to close my eyes and imagine that the water is washing away my bad mood, my negativity.

Maybe I'll dig out some fancy smelling soap for some aromatherapy as well!

It can't hurt, and
I still need that shower anyhow. lol

Bright Blessings All!