The start of Day 3 at Mom's. She doesn't want to be alone, she wants me to fix things for her. Its her body, whatever is wrong is something I can't fix. I have taken her to every doctor I can think of. She is in pain, and they keep giving her pills to help. She has kinked up her back, yet continues to sit in her chair "where it doesnt hurt". Or else she walks the floor all night long and cries.
Every time they prescribe something to help her pain, she gets so much anxiety about taking something, that she cramps up all her muscles and never relaxes. When she finally succumbs to sleep, its good, but she doesn't stay that way.
In order to give her peace of mind, I stay over when she takes new meds. But it costs me when I do. I don't get rest when I'm here. My sleep is off because the bed is hard, the pillows are way too fat and uncomfortable for sleeping. She keeps the air set at 80 - way too hot for me to sleep. I wake with a headache every day, my stomach churns because there is no peace for me.
Then there's the sitting around all day because she isnt very mobile. Yesterday, I went home for 2 hours just to be alone for a while. I will probably have to do that again today.
This morning, I was up at 6am and went out and washed my car. There's a kind of comfort in performing menial tasks.
I'm quite sure Mom has it in her head that after she's gone, I will move in to her house and carry on. She dislikes my little house *shrug* but I didn't buy it for her to like. Or live in!
Its time to think about the next steps. If she continues this way, it won't be long before she's bedridden.
But time to stop my whining, grab a Diet Coke to relieve this headache, maybe take a walk. That might help. Wish I had my walking visor and my mp3 player.
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