Work Woes -- or is it Whoahs???

My job can be complicated.  And simple at the same time.  Simplistically, items that are returned to my BigBox store are scanned and put into boxes to send back to vendors.  Conversely, there are special rules for shipping this, that and the other thing, and my job is to remember those rules without violating company policy, or creating a hazardous package to violate DOT regulations.  That's it in a nutshell.

Because there are so many returns, I can't work 7 days a week, so I have someone who helps me.  I call him Elvis.  But Elvis isn't a Company Man.  He's out to get what he can get for himself.  When he finds himself boxed into some kind of corner, he finds another way around it.

The biggest controllable expense in a BigBox store is payroll, so there are certain rules and schedules, and everyone must follow their schedule.  If not, there are consequences.  However, Elvis has figured out that if he clocks in 15 minutes early each day, by Friday he can leave early (so as not to go over his scheduled number of hours).  Leaving early before the end of shift causes a flag and he's violated this one for the past 6 weeks.  But I was having the hardest time trying to figure out why he can't get his entire work load done in the hours allotted him.  I know I can do his part of the job in about 6 hours total.  Today I figured it out.

Turns out, he clocks in early but heads into the employee break room until starting time.  So there was 20 minutes of lost productivity.  He then took a 30 minute break when he's allowed 15.  I've been observing this since last fall, and trying to report it to management, but ... well, I guess there are other things more important.  Today, I think they finally got tired of me reporting him and pulled video. Yep.  They concurred and gave him a written warning for not following schedule.

That isn't the entire story, however.  Two weeks ago, he came into work oddly gleeful.  He said someone had killed his tomato plants, and he has witnesses that it was two different employees from the store.  I'm sure I had a WTF face on -- who would assume it's a fellow employee?  and why would they give a rat's ass about his tomato plants??   I let it go at that, because I didn't want to hear any of his drama.   That won't be the case, because he's not shy about spreading the rumor throughout the store.  Of the two accused, one is a part time cashier who barely makes ends meet.  I can't see her spending $$$ on something to kill his plants!  She's also one of the nicest, meekest women I know.

When she heard about his accusations, I found her in tears in the bathroom, and then discovered Elvis has been quietly harassing her.  I reported it.  She refused to write up a statement, saying she didn't want to make waves, the whole thing would blow over.  Today, there was another incident.  As she was clocking in, he leaned in over the back of her, took a big sniff and announced "You Stink".  She walked away from him and asked me if I thought she smelled, I said no, and advised her again to report this, as this is more harassment.  She finally reported it, and I'm glad for that.

The tomato story doesn't end there.  (And I'm sure there's more that I refuse to listen to!) But he and I work in close confines on days we're both scheduled; it seems as if he's had many conversations with some Police Officer, and he was explaining some kind of "complicity" charge that could be brought up if only one had killed the plants, but the other was knowing about it, or bragging about it at work.  He then proceeded to give me an example about him coming to my house, dropping tainted meat over the fence to hurt my dog, then telling someone else about it.  He then emphasized that this is "purely hypothetical".   Um.  Another example wouldn't have worked well enough?  You have to use a veiled threat like that?   I put it out of my mind.  But today, he asked what I was doing next week .... I'm on vacation, I replied.  He said Isn't it your daughter's wedding?  mmm hmmm (and keep my head down, keep on working, trying to ignore him) He kept on talking about how he knows someone who could watch my dog for me while I'm gone.   No thanks, she goes with me everywhere.  

In the years that we've worked together, he's never asked or mentioned my dog.
Then after his coaching today, the first thing he says to me is "You make Marcy look like a cub scout..."  (Marcy being a manager from the past who was notorious for being a bitch).

Mmm hmm... keep talking, Elvis.
Talk yourself right out of a job.

A-Ha moment

I have always been different from those around me.  I've felt that way for most of my life, and have spent many hours trying to figure out why?   what's wrong with me?

Never easy questions; as a teenager, having to deal with those kinds of questions along with the usual angst that comes with teenage years was difficult.

But I survived those years.

In my life, I've married 3 times, each of them lasting 7-9 years.  But the same questions came up after each divorce:  Why?  What's wrong with me?

It's taken me a lot of years, soul searching and lots of reading to find answers.  I don't have a lot of them, but a few things come to mind as I'm reading an article or a book.   But today, I read an article that hit home, one of those A-Ha moments!

While I don't claim any supernatural powers, or anything else weird, I consider myself an intuitive person, highly sensitive, close to being an empath even.   I can sense things about people when I allow myself to be open and receptive.  (I've since learned that I don't always have to be open... )  I tend to feel physical things another person is feeling when I'm close to them.  Not physically close, but allowing my feelings, my vulnerability to be close to another person.  Like my mom, I'm close to her even though she lives 800 miles away -- when she has back trouble, or her elbow bothers her, I feel it as well.  (Not always a fun thing, because she can rest when needed, I just have to keep on keeping on at work!)

There's one event in my life that sticks out about the knowing another person's feelings.  I was in my 20s, and close to a male co-worker.  Not romantically close - he was married, had kids, etc - we were just in tune with each other, a kind of synchronicity if you will.  One day he walked in to work, and I could tell/feel that there was a big problem.  His daughter was ill, and he and his wife were having a heated argument the night before.   I stepped out and greeted him, asked if there was anything I could do.  He said "About what?"  I said "I know you were having issues last night, is there anything I can do?"  He was shocked, but then let his guard down, we talked.  It became a topic of conversation between us - how a person can have a sixth sense about another person.

But back to the things I read today for my A-Ha moment:  "An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy and emotions emanating from people, animals and everything that exists around them."    For me, this explains why I feel this huge connection to a local mountain range that I refer to as "my mountain" because going there seems to ground me, make me feel refreshed and energized again.

- "In relationships or friendships, an empath very often puts other people before themselves, as though everyone else’s pleasure and happiness is more important than their own."  This has always been true for me, moreso in the past than it is now.

- "Tends to connect with people who are suffering and often wants to heal others or try to make the world a better place for them."  The last part of that sentence is very true for me.  I always want to try to make things better for another, especially the male in my relationship.

- "An empath’s mind is an inquisitive one and they are constantly searching for answers and theorize and philosophize constantly."

- "Very creative and highly imaginative, writing, art, music, painting, dancing, acting, painting, building and designing are a few of the traits that empaths very often are passionate about."

Both of these statements ring true in my life.  The best conversations I have with others are where we take a topic, research it and share opinions back and forth, digging deep for truths.  And creatively speaking, if I'm not being creative, I feel stale, stagnant.  Which is why photography comes in very handy for me.

- "Can become shy and withdrawn as a method of self-protection. This can result in empaths becoming introverts as a way of avoiding the emotional and physical pain that often stems from interactions."  I'm sure co-workers assume that I'm shy, or something else.  I just don't care to be open with most of the people I work with.  In fact, I even avoid breaks and meals in the lunchroom just to avoid that issue and instead head to the gym - which is not crowded at 10am during the work week!

It's a good thing to find articles that point to directions that make us realize a little bit of the why's we've struggled with over the years.  People have asked me in the past about my divorces, and my answer is always the same:  I don't regret the choices I made because even though there were negative/bad things, there were good things as well.  I would not be the person I have become if I didn't have both those good and bad things happen to me."   In that way, I own the problem, accept my part in the events that happen, and am able to look back on the good things with fond(ish) memories.   hehehe

Having an "A-Ha" moment when you realize that you're not crazy, and you're not alone, goes a long way to learning how to make better choices now, how to protect myself from onslaughts of unwanted energy, and knowing that it's OK to take the downtime needed to make things right again.