Who I Am - Tribute

Today was Alex's funeral.  Funerals are never easy on those of us left behind.  This one seemed even more difficult for me.  I knew that Alex had a very strained relationship with his family.  And I think he considered those of us he worked with as his family.  It made me very happy to note that nearly 100 of his co-workers were there, to honor him, to support him.  Or maybe it was to show the family who judged him that we all knew and accepted him as he was.

Alex, you brought light and laughter into our lives.  Even those days when things weren't going so well, there was always some kind of silver lining (.... even if it was just the simple thrill of the sound of breaking glass when we threw out the trash to work out a few of the frustrations!!)  You made it a point to greet everyone who crossed your path.  You stopped into my office when you started your shift even if only to shoot the breeze for a moment or two.   There will always be unanswered questions, and some may have a moment or two of self doubt, thinking "If only ......"  But we cared, and truly wish you'd reached out just one more time.

Rest in peace, my friend.

Who I Am

by Alex T.

I am not my name

nor my face or body.

I am not my past nor my future.

I am not who you think I am

or who you would like me to be.

I am not a world of hate and prejudice,

their iron eyes branding my skin.

I am not the world and the world is not me.

I am a writer.

I am my words.

I am who I say I am.

Whyyy, Alex?

It's very troubling when someone from your "work family" dies.  It's even more tragic when it's suicide.  We were struck with this tragedy in my BigBox Store this past week.   

A young man who I personally thought of as an "old soul" died Thursday, and the hardest part is the unanswered questions we all have:  "Did I miss something?"  "Is there something I could have done to help?" 

From DoSomething:  "In the U.S., suicide rates are highest during the spring. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-olds and 2nd for 24 to 35-year-olds. On average, 1 person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes. Each suicide intimately affects at least 6 other people."

Alex was a young man who had ideals of climbing up the retail ladder, and held many positions in my store.  At the start of each shift, he would stop in my office to chat, mostly about work things but we shared other things as well.  He was young, ambitious and likable.   And I feel as if I didn't have a clue.  Granted, we weren't exceptionally close; our age range reduced the number of topics we had in common.  Our last conversation was about the new iPhone and iWatch he'd just purchased.  



The unanswerable question is "Whyyy, Alex?"

He will be missed in my store, 
and even more, missed by me.
Alex was intelligent and hard working - 
he would have had a great future ahead of him.



National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday