Hypergraphia

I have always enjoyed writing in a journal; taking it to blogging felt like a natural move.  However, there are always things that shouldn't be made public knowledge.  Everyone should be entitled to have some kind of privacy, or their life kept private.   But I'm bouncing back and forth with the ideal.

In the movie "Bridges of Madison County", a woman left journals of a wondrous four-day relationship (affair) with a man while she was married.  It was a beautiful love story, and all the more beautiful because she chose her family and her love for them over a different kind of love. 

As we age, we tend to remember things from our past, and I have been writing them down as I remember them.  But do I really need to share it with the world?  Am I writing it down so my kids have some kind of understanding about the woman I was? or how I became the woman that I am? 
In the bigger picture, does it really matter? 

And yet something is driving me to write it all down.  I can't say that I understand the desire to put it in writing, and yet I keep remembering these things and it seems important that I write it down.

My only personal perspective on it would be if I found out my own mother had written up a diary as such, would I want to know it all?  And then I remember that my mother married her high school sweetheart and they were together 50+ years, just what sort of things would she have written ???   As a child, she was raised on a farm, maybe reading about those days would be more interesting .. :)

I, too, married my high school sweetheart, but it didn't last.

I loved another man, but we weren't destined to be together at that time.  (However, I still think of him and wonder what my life would have been if I had taken another path.)

I married a second time, but that didn't last either.

I married a third time, and that went south as well.

After that third one, I noticed a trend, and made the conscious choice to never take that road again.
That doesn't mean there wasn't another love, though.

In the long run, though, does it really matter what happened and why??

Does anyone really want to know the reasons?
Probably not.

If you have followed along before, you know that I tend to look to Google for answers -- and I found this:  "Hypergraphia is a behavioral condition characterized by the intense desire to write or draw."  or this:  "graphomania [the excessive urge to write]"    Does this mean I can blame it all on some kind of "condition" ????  lol

Someone else said journaling empties the mind.  Perhaps getting out all the old stuff will be making room for some new stuff!   At least that's a positive spin on it all :)

Either way, I will indulge this oddity
and continue my journaling whenever I get the urge.

For those of you who find this topic boring .. my apologies. hehehe

Life is Good

Two days off and it felt pretty good!  Because of our Arizona heat, my morning walks are nearly an hour long; poor Sadie doesn't last that long so she gets a ride in her stroller -- and she likes it!

I've spent part of my days sewing masks.  My daughter and her family will need a supply of them for work, and possibly for when school starts as well.  These are unprecedented times, and there isn't going to be what we used to call "normal" any longer.  I don't know what the new norm will be, just different. 

Sewing the masks is fun, a way to let some creative juices flow.  At first, I was just using up old fabrics I had laying around, but now?  I'm out shopping for something really cute!  And because I like to keep some onhand for my own use at work, I have quite a nice collection!  My daughter works in a hospital, the girls she works with thinks hers are cute and asked me to sew a few, so maybe I'll get a few dollars back to cover some of my supplies.  :)

I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately, and I suspect it's due to the fast approaching anniversary of my son's death.  I have debated over and over again if I should take the day off or go to work to keep my mind busy without dwelling on ... things.  I'm off the day before, so work may be a good thing. 

Added to those worries, I'm worried about my sister.  She's been battling stage 4 pancreatic cancer for three years now.  She has had spots on her liver, and has gone under the cyber knife to eradicate those spots, which has caused decreased liver function, causing ascites -- a build up of fluids in her abdomen, causing a lot of pain.  Being observant from afar through her cancer, and my father's cancer, I can tell you it's a total roller coaster affecting just about every aspect of living.  It's not easy!  And there's not much a person can do but be supportive.  My sister is lucky in that her high school girlfriends are very supportive and have been there every step of the way with her. 

Life sure isn't easy, but there are always good things with the bad. 

My nephew just learned that he's having a baby girl in December! 

Life is good.