Family Frustrations

Does your family frustrate you??  It's not the little things that become so frustrating, I can usually overlook those kinds of things.  But my sis died a week ago.  When I called, I asked if I should travel to help with things.  "Nope! Not necessary, nothing you can do right now".  Ok.  But then I find out that my brother and his family all left town for a long weekend.  That left my mother home alone.  If they had been up front with me, I'd have been there.  But nope!

I blew up my phone texting family who lives near her to see if someone could stop in.  Out of her son and four grandsons, only one was able to dash over.  And he had a huge hangover. 

Have family values changed that much over the years?  I was raised that family comes first; when a tragedy happens, your schedule changes.  Your drop your social things in order to take care of whatever needs doing during a difficult time.  I guess people who are younger than me weren't raised that way.

What makes it so difficult for everyone to be on the same page, to come together, when something awful happens? 

Is it a shift in society priorities?

Do we think of ourselves first more often than we used to?

Will the pendulum swing back the other way at some point in the future?

I certainly hope so; but I probably won't be around long enough.  It's just my own wish that young folks find out what's really important when things get tough ---- a family they can count on.

Too Fast, Standing Still

Life swirls around us; sometimes it seems to go faster than other times.  Or maybe that's what happens as we get older.  So many things happening at warp speed, and yet we have trouble keeping up.

At the same time, with COVID influencing every aspect of our daily lives right now, so many other things seem at a standstill.  And that's making things difficult on many levels.

My sister died 5 days ago.  Her request was to be cremated.  But with COVID, places are having a backlog, and they say it could be up to 20 days until her cremains will be ready.  The cemetery is also on lockdown, only open M, W, and F from 1-4pm.  And there's a limit to family only, and up to 20 people for her burial.  When you start counting up family, you get to 20 very quickly.  Out of town guests and friends are not welcome to be there.   Having a celebration of life ceremony, or any kind of funeral is out of the question.  For now.

Which means so many things are swirling around, happening so fast, and  yet standing still at the same time.  It's very frustrating. 

I'm trying to be a comfort to my mom.  We talk an hour or more every evening.  I'm sure it helps a little bit, but would be easier if I were there.  But she doesn't want me to travel, to risk my health.  I'm not sure what else I can do at this point. 

As the "family historian", they've asked me to create a video of photos, a collage of her life, if you will.   I'm looking forward to it, but am worried it will prove to be a challenge.  As a key person involved in her city's school system for her entire adult life, she touched a lot of lives.  Which means every friend has a photo of themselves with her.  Editing might be quite the challenge!! 

Hurry up and wait.  Life is going too fast, and yet we're all waiting. 
This is going to be a long autumn.