Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Journey Through the Senses (Day 1)

Assignment:  For our first day, we are going to go dark -- literally. We’ll take a break from our sense of sight so we can pay attention to everything our other senses are telling us.

As I sit and think about this assignment, what comes to mind is my morning walk with Sadie.  Because it's so early, the sun hasn't come up to lighten the sky.  Lamp posts leave a pool of light on each corner, but it's dark in between.  I can see stars for miles, and every now and then I catch a shooting star!  

With every step I'm aware of things around me because the neighborhood is still quiet and sleepy.  The occasional sound of traffic on the distant streets reaches me from time to time.  Sadie's dog tags jangle with each step, which sometimes awaken a few of the neighborhood dogs who bark once or twice.  Friday mornings bring the clang of dumpsters being emptied.  Some days there's rustling under a bush, or up in the tree.  I imagine it's a critter or a bird, telling it's young that it's time to start the day. 

Now that summer is over, there's a slight chill in the air.  The air near the park is a few degrees cooler than the asphalt and sidewalks, which hold the heat from the day before.  Sprinklers that kick on bring the scent of wet grass, or wet desert.  Creosote when it gets damp has a very unique smell, very pleasant to me.  Sometimes the scent of houses wafts its way out:  one neighbor must smoke indoors; Julie does laundry early and I can smell her dryer sheets drifting along in a breeze; a really good morning might bring the scent of bacon frying .... makes my mouth water every time! 

Since it's dark, I don't use my sense of touch for much - perhaps to pat Sadie if there's another dog nearby just to let her know that she doesn't need to bark.  In the desert, many of our creatures are nocturnal, so reaching out and touching something ... well, this old Gal doesn't do it!

We are very dependent on visual cues as we navigate our way through our days.   We've all heard the saying "Stop and smell the roses."  I think that's just another euphemism to remind you to use your other senses more often.  Tune in and listen to sounds, or smell what's in the air.  Challenge yourself to take notice of these things.  You'll be happy you did.  :)


Sunday, October 4, 2020

Busy, but Still Sad

 Dear Brian,

It's October now, and we're rolling quickly into the holiday season.  There are so many things going on, and it's times like this when I wish time would slow down -- or have a day where it kinda stops! -- because I feel like there isn't time for me to sit and think.  About you.  About should haves and would haves.  And about what the next phase is going to be.  

Grandma is struggling more and more.  Technology is beyond her grasp at times and she worries when she can't get the info she needs.  And it's little things, like calling the bank.  Before COVID, you could just visit your branch and see a banker with your questions or issues.  Now, half the branches are closed, and you need an appointment to even get inside the bank.  Withdrawals are only done thru an ATM and she doesn't know how to use that, either.   I help as much as I can but it isn't easy long distance.

I need to somehow get a vacation to Cali in between all the work issues and doc visits that are scheduled.  Maybe the second week of Nov.   I just need to decide and go for it.  

I had to call Joe from across the street to help me with the new fridge.  I just couldn't figure out those weird little compression fittings.  I hate it that you're not here to help.  And I'm still sad over that.  It makes me wish over and over that I could have helped, or that I could have said something to make a difference ....  *sigh*

I loved you, will always love you.  And I miss you like craaaazy! 

Love, Mom