Hooked on Holidays

Today, with the Christmas Holiday fast approaching, I've been overcome with odd emotions and the desire to do things that are a bit out of the norm for me.  I pulled up some old fav Christian mp3's on the computer and have them running.  I'm in a mood to have the house cleaned and presentable for ... what? Because I'm single, and with COVID running rampant, no one can visit.  So what's the deal?  

Sometimes I can't figure it out, but perhaps it's an emotional connection that's needed, or I'm craving. The word that comes to mind in all of this is "grace".   Not the kind of grace that has to do with how I'm walking across a room, or some kind of courteous goodwill (a Google definition), but more about the grace of God.  I'm not a very religious person, I consider myself more of a spiritual person.  But I was raised in the Lutheran Church, and those roots run deep.   As an adult, I joined an Assembly of God church (over 3000 members) and sang in the choir.  And I really enjoyed that a lot.  Maybe that's the connection that's missing.  

This has been a difficult year for so many, many people and it doesn't seem like it's going to let up any time soon.  So do what you can, do whatever makes you happy, whatever brings you joy.  Because I've worked retail for 20 years, it's become a rough holiday for me; some years, I don't even bother with a tree.  But this year, I put up my tree on Thanksgiving weekend.  And it makes me smile every time I come home from work and flick on the lights.  I also choose music that makes me smiles - or better yet, to sing along!! 

As we celebrate the season, let us open our hearts for the joy that characterizes the season.  

Tell your family you love them.  

And smile more (behind your masks!)

Finding Focus

I have always liked reading and writing.  When I was in the second grade I wrote an "Ode to Morning" that described how I heard my father's car driving off to work each morning as "the roar of the Rambler..".  We all chuckle each time we read it.  That was the beginning, but as I reflect back over the years, I regret that I didn't do more with my writing.  But that's water under the bridge .... 

I used to think that Sadie was holding me back from some of the things I used to do more of ... working on my computer with photos, writing, and family tree research.  It's been a few weeks and I'm still trying to find my equilibrium.  My days were structured with Sadie, with no room for anything else.  Now I come home from work and there's .... nothing.  From the time I moved out from my parents' house, it was into an apartment with my husband.  Then kids came, and a different husband, step kids, and animals.  I didn't want a dog, but once I got Sadie, she was my sidekick!  So now, this is the first time I've been alone.  No kids, no pets, just an empty house.  I hope this is an interim, and that I'll get back to doing my own things again. 

When I had a day off last Saturday, I just couldn't seem to get motivated to do anything.  I have put a temporary hold on prepping things for a move should it be needed, and working holidays in retail puts me in a cranky mood most days.  I know I shouldn't feel guilty about doing nothing but sometimes I do. 

I guess it's time for more lists:  things I should do, things I want to do and things I need to do.  Somewhere in these lists of things is going to be more writing.   Maybe that will help me be more focused on my days off. 

It worked in the past!!