It's my day off, and I'm finally relaxing. At least I think that's what I'm doing! lol I'm getting caught up on my household chores after being gone for quite a while. My mother hasn't been herself. And we've been trying to figure out what the problem is. Between doctors and family, we all have our own thoughts. Of course, age is a factor. And doing things outside of her normal routine is another factor She and I took a trip to a destination wedding for my brother in August, and she hasn't been the same since. In fact, her anxiety levels have gotten worse, and I feel like she has some depression as well.
Her husband died six years ago, her grandson died two years ago, and her daughter died a year ago. She doesn't deal well with these types of things - she is a very private person and doesn't discuss feelings all that often. If at all. But bottling things up isn't good, and that has contributed to some of her issues. Adding to the problem was withdrawal from Gabapentin. She was on this drug for some nerve pain issues for quite some time, and it's my personal belief that she's still having some withdrawal symptoms.
Her anxiety got the best of her, and she started having panic attacks, especially late at night. Then she wasn't sleeping, sometimes for 48 or 72 hours Sleep deprivation causes many weird mental problems, and I was there for five days to help. I had to fly home for 3 days of work, then flew back to take care of her again. But five days into my stay, and things weren't any better. Pacing. Moaning. Crying. Lack of appetite. Shakes. Confusion. On the day it was time for me to head back home, she cried until I changed my schedule and stayed for another week. Boy was it a long week!
I started this entry back in October, but hesitated on posting, but ... the reality is at some point, children will be caring for their aging parents. And as the average age increases, so does that reality. In my case, I've always assumed that job would fall to me once my sister passed away. But my mother chose to go with my brother when we came to realize that she wasn't getting much better.
Now that a month has gone by, yes, my mother has improved a LOT. But since she's feeling so much better, she's convinced she can get off her medications, as if she's been taking an antibiotic to cure an infection. She and I have the same conversation once a week: stay on the meds, don't change *anything* until you're back in your home and you think things are better again. I'm worried that going back to her house and living alone will bring up all the issues she hasn't yet dealt with, and things will get worse again.
There is no easy way to deal with aging parents but with patience, care and sometimes redirecting their focus. I understand how my mother feels about staying in her own home. But that may not be possible unless I consider moving in with her. *sigh* Not my first choice. She's going back to her own home in 10 days. We'll see how it goes from there!
