This year, my word to live by is commitment. And I've been doing my best; its not always easy. A person can be committed to one thing or another, but its harder to be committed to more than one thing.
In my case, its being committed to take care of mom. And I also committed to helping my nephew do police academy by picking up his son from school every day. When I made this commitment, I didn't realize that my mom's health (both physical and mental) would take a turn for the worse.
The amount of stress as a result of these commitments make me realize that I am not capable of taking care of mom if her health doesn't improve. And that raising kids is the job for parents. My nephew needs to find a way once he graduates in July.
The one commitment that I haven't been taking care of is me, my own health. I thought I could be committed to exercise and eating right. Its the exercise portion I'm lacking. And its from a lack of time. When I get home at the end of the day after taking care of others' needs, I'm too tired to take care of my own. Mornings are centered on getting ready to do whatever for mom, groceries, doctors, prescriptions and the odd phone calls of "i feel funny" and trying to understand what that means.
Today when I left, she looked like she was going to ask me to come back, or to stay. But I need to stay true to me, too. I kept going out the door. I also took time this morning to give my bathroom a major clean, clean the kitchen, run the dishwasher, wipe down the floors.
Because taking care of me and my needs should be a priority too. So why do we feel guilty for doing that?
Wise words: be careful what you commit to!
