Steamed About Mom

I heard a gal on the radio today, talking about trophies she had earned in high school when she was on the debate team. And while she was proud of the accomplishment, her point was these trophies are not eternal.  They mark a moment in time, and then we move on to other things.

And I realized in that moment, that my mother kept things "for eternity".  And now that she can't take them all with her, we are stuck with the stuff.  

Thankfully, neither my brother or I are keepers of every little thing!

After I started this post, I found out that because I didn't drive a light bulb over to mom yesterday when she "asked", she told my brother I didn't so it, and to bring one to her.   She didn't bother to tell me, so after helping her grandson, I busted my butt and skipped my meal so I could get her the damn lightbulbs.   I am steaming!!! Her passive-aggressive bullshit is bullshit!!!

Patience, and acceptance. Patience and acceptance. Patience and acceptance. 

Toxic Stressor

Blood work results are back. Everything ia high. And I need to find a way to reduce the stress in my life.  If I don't, could Mom outlive me???  Ack!

I had a day to myself, and worked on scrapbooks for Moms grandsons. Since they'll be in town, they can have them now and I won't have to mail them.

I've been running on the premise "when things slow down ...." but that hasn't happened.  I have been dealing with mom and her .... issues .... for a year now.  Things haven't slowed down, and at times she's even more demanding than ever. And that has impacted my health. She needs to understand that. And let me be me. 

An example of her passive-aggressive ways. Today's text was "I need a lightbulb in my lamp. Hard to get along without it."  First, she has identical lamps on either side of the bed, so she can just swap the bulbs. But she won't.  Hooray for me, I didn't fall into "the trap" of running a lightbulb over to her. However, she will complain about my not doing that when I see her tomorrow. 

How do you be your own person when old habits put you right back into that toxic relationship you once left?