No Gossip

I hate that I get sucked into FaceBook on a regular basis.  I can ignore it easily enough, but once I open it, I'm sucked in.  Sadly, every other post is some kind of advert, and the rest seem to be videos that I do NOT load and/or watch.  What happened to a simple photo with a nice description ...... but I digress from why I started this post.

One of the adverts was from Forbes with a suggestive title about keeping your thoughts to yourself in the workplace.  Which is good advice in almost every situation.  Work "friends" don't need to know what's going on in your life, or the things you're deciding about when it comes to your career.  One easy example was not sharing your thoughts about your job being not challenging enough for you.  You might make them feel bad because it's a challenge for them.   Ok, while I don't buy into the whole "making people feel bad" genre - I think that pendulum has swung too far to the right, and that in reality sometimes life is hard, and it makes a person feel bad.  We have to learn to deal with that part of life as well.

But the best advice came near the end of the article:

• The worse the environment, the more tight-lipped you have to be with your coworkers.
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• If things get so bad at your workplace that you can’t safely talk about much beyond the weather, that’s a sure sign it’s time to go!

Yeah.  That's the point that I'm at with coworkers.  I don't discuss any part of my life outside of work with them, because I have coworkers who tend to gossip.  Correction.  Who "get off" on sharing gossip, no matter how true or not.  Even my weird Elvis will take a nugget of information and create it into this hairy piece of gossip .... What's even funnier in this case is that he's 10 years older than I am.  And who says it's only women who spread gossip?????  lol

I have one younger coworker who has decided to make retail his career ... which is awesome!  And I was taking him "under my wing", giving him some up front knowledge that if utilized correctly could make him and his position valuable when it comes to changes in the future.  But I've come to realize that he has the tendency to gossip just as much as some of the females.  So I've learned the hard way what can and cannot be shared. 

I started my own working career at a company with only 60 employees, we grew to 80, but it was a privately owned company, and we were a family.  Leaving that kind of work environment for the retail sector ..... was SO difficult.  But I can't keep wishing for something that doesn't and won't exist in my world any longer. 


I found this short little article about "Testing for Gossip":
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”

“Hold on a minute”, Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right”, Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and …”

“All right”, said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“No, on the contrary.”

“So”, Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well”, concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

That's a good story, a good approach to take when someone wants to give you some juicy gossip.  If it's not true, good or useful, why listen to it???

And while it seems I'm taking the high road today, I tend to fall back into bad habits from time to time.  Hopefully, it will be less often if I take a moment to think before I actually listen. 

The Willies

OK ... I've got "the willies" ...... sometimes I feel like I'm six years old again .... and tattling on my siblings.  As with most full time jobs, there's a morning break and an afternoon break, usually 15 minutes.  If it goes to 20 mins on occasion and a person more than "makes up for it" by hustling when there's a need ... well, I tend to be wise enough to overlook what I call the little things.  As a supervisor, I have to make judgments calls from time to time when it comes to the work habits and ethics of those who work in my little section. 

As always, Elvis is a chronic problem.  And it isn't the first, second or even fifth time he's taken advantage.  Today, he left for his morning break and sauntered up front to buy some breakfast.  He brought it back, stopped at his desk, then proceeded to the break room to eat.  He didn't return until 20 minutes later.  In my book, that was a 40 minute break!

I argued with myself back and forth .... log it, capture video ... or just let it go, as it was a quiet kind of day.  But I decided after all of that to log it, have someone in management capture the video.  I'm going to leave it in their hands, let them decide what to do with the info. 

I'm kind of fed up with his narcissistic ways.  He tries to make conversation with me, and I'm not having any of it.  He asked about it once, I told him I was too busy.  So he runs around talking behind my back to other coworkers.  I've heard that I've been a)  coached  or b) dislike him or c) he's going to file a complaint/lawsuit against me for disrespecting him.   *raised eyebrows*  Of course, the co-workers he tells his little stories to are the type who run around and blab ... and it gets back to me. 

Some days the issue of working with him is a huge barrier to my own work.  I have to talk myself down from the feelings it brings up so that I can finish my day.  On really bad days, I can't stand the thought of using my computer or work space after he's used the same space.

Is getting "the willies" a real thing?

When you're cleansing negative energy from a space, you might ring a bell, smudge it with some sage, salt ... me, I tend to wipe things down with baby wipes (because it's handy, and smells fresh!)  And even if I'm being a little silly .....
the willies are gone!  (lol)