Moody Days

Yesterday was one of those moody days.  I was quite cranky and out of sorts when I woke, and it just never got better.  So I decided to at least accomplish a task or two.

I headed to the post office 2 miles from home. I stood in line watching the worker struggle with her printer.  There were 3 other stations and she should have signed off and moved to take care of customers. But nope. 

Then it was my turn. I had 2 packages to mail and she started in on it, but couldn't print a complete label.  The small portion that had printed, she had slapped on my box, then spent 5 minutes or more trying to peel it off. (She had fake nails and couldn't...) 

Then when I asked to get the lock changed on my postal box, I was told i had to go to the other post office 2 miles further from home.  Kind of weird.  Then I couldnt get the work order started because I needed 2 forms of ID. Um, since the mailbox is broken, how am I getting mail???  Luckily, my car registration has my address.  So that task completed ($40 out of pocket ....  I thought USPS owned those here in AZ?) 

Then on to Hobby Lobby to pickup some scrapbooking paper.  I took photos of moms grandkids from her photo albums and I'm making a scrapbook for each of them. She has one granddaughter and 5 grandsons. Boys aren't as sentimental, maybe they won't even want them, but its what she wants. 

So, two things accomplished.  That's about all I can handle today.  May tomorrow be a better day! 

A Short One

I have been bothered by the personality changes I've been seeing in my mom.

She wasn't the mom who sat and listened if you had a problem. She wasn't the mom who hugged you because she thought you needed a hug. We were kids, we didn't know any different.

And now as an elderly adult, she has changed her ways. She wants a hug every time I see her, and sometimes more. The other day we were watching tv and she held out her hand and said I need you to hold my hand for a few minutes.

And today, I am coming to terms with all this ... crap. I call it crap because it isn't about showing or sharing love.  Its her own needs above anything else. Always was. We all just learned to deal with it in other ways, or deal around it.  Because we didn't know different.

Yes, I can hug her or hold a hand, but its not with an overabundance of feeling.   She's my mom and that's her due as a mom. 

I know it will bother me from time to time in the future, but putting it into context makes me able to move beyond it.  

And I can be ok with it.