Don't Manipulate Me!

Have you ever noticed that people who are manipulated, are being manipulated, become very good manipulators?  I found some general statements:

"Any time that anyone intentionally sets out to disparage, discourage, depress or upset another, it is a form of manipulation and control. Just the wrong words can throw a person out of balance; it sets the mind on a path of confusion and disarray."

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines manipulation as: “managing or controlling artfully or by shrewd use of influence, often in an unfair or fraudulent way; to alter or falsify for one’s own purpose.”   In relationships, manipulation can be defined as: any attempt to control, through coercion (overt or covert), another person’s thoughts, feelings or behaviors. 

When you allow others to control your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and make decisions for you,
-- you do not have to think for yourself;
-- you can avoid taking risks and making difficult decision;
-- you can avoid taking a stand on controversial issues;
-- you can avoid feeling responsible for negative outcomes;
-- you get to blame others when things go wrong;
-- you can believe, when others tell you how to behave, what to think, how to feel and what to decide, that you are “being loved” because they “want what is best for you”;
-- you can avoid feeling separate and alone by avoiding conflict;
-- you can avoid the hard work of emotional growth and development.


Appreciating the advantages of not being manipulated is to accept the hard work of living and interacting with others. It is about being willing to grow and develop emotionally. These advantages can be that,
-- you learn to know who you are, what you like, what you think, and how you feel;
-- you learn to make difficult decisions;
-- you get to take credit for your decisions;
-- you learn to handle risks and uncertainty;
-- you learn to handle differences and conflicts;
-- you get to be in control of your life and know the freedom of personal self-reliance;
-- you get to have an increased sense of self worth by feeling competent and capable of taking responsibility for your life and personal happiness.

What's with the weird post, you might be thinking.  Well, sometimes, there are people in our lives who need to hear things.  And sometimes there are moments in our own lives where we need to say things.  And sometimes my own blogging is a way to help me come to terms when making decisions, coming to conclusions.  And that's where I am again today.  While I'm all about helping out people who need or want my help, don't make me believe in something you have no intention of going through with.  

I am definitely part of that second group.  
I work hard at living right, making my own decisions,
thinking and feeling my own thoughts.  

I am the only one responsible for my life and my happiness.