Square One

Square One.
How many of us have gone back to square one and started again?
Maybe you started a new career.
Maybe you moved to a new city.
Maybe you started over after a divorce.
Maybe you have the empty nest syndrome.

Whichever ones you've done, you know what a process it is.  You know how much stress and work there is getting from A to B.

But once there.... ahhhhh ... It feels so good, and you wonder why you didn't do it sooner!!

When you finally make the conscious choice to go ahead, to do it, it lessens the load, you let go of the abstract general idea, and you can get more practical in your plan of action.  Maybe you make lists like I do.  From the small things to the bigger things to the biggest thing of all.  Once you have a list of what needs to be done, you can pick and choose what you're capable of handling for the day, and something else gets finished, getting you closer to your goal, your B.

These thoughts came to me for two reasons:  First, because a friend of mine sees A and B as a rock and a hard place -- a very difficult place to extract one's self from.  But it can be done!  I've done it.  I've started over with nothing in the bank, a car payment, and just enough money to cover a down payment and first month's rent.  Don't lose faith in yourself -- you'll do what you need to when you're ready.

Second, because I feel that I'm back to 'square one'.  I fell in love with a man who for selfish reasons withheld information, who isn't able to love me back in the way that I deserve.  There I said it out loud.  That's the bottom line:  the way that I deserve.  I once believed in a grand future because of our similar likes and tastes.  Now I'm relegated to loving from a distance, unrequited. But no longer waiting on that magical moment any longer.  And while that makes me sad in some ways, I still wouldn't trade away a good friendship.

I read somewhere "Don't worry about being back at square one... at least you're still on the board!"