Weird World, Weird Times

I am not normally a fearful person.  Yes, this coronavirus is a scary thing, but I'm relatively healthy and still active.  I (try to) take good care of my self and my health; I slip up when it comes to eating, we could all do better in that area, I'm sure.  So while I'm trying to be smart about keeping a good social distance, washing my hands often, and trying to remember not to touch my face, I realize that there is a risk in doing anything more than sheltering in place. 

Most times, it doesn't bother me.

I do, however, tend to let worries get the best of me when I can't sleep at night.  Take last night, for instance.  I fell asleep and laid on my arm in one position for too long and woke up with it feeling a little achy - probably because I sleep on my side and tend to curl my arms in odd positions.  I also woke up with a dry mouth. 

And then the worries start.  Is it just a dry mouth?  Or wait .... is that also the beginning of a sore throat?  Why does my arm hurt?  Does anything else hurt?   Which makes me chuckle in the light of day ... of course other things hurt!  I'm over 60 and that's just what happens!

So yes, it was difficult to go back to sleep.  I got up, stretched my legs and arms to make sure they're all in working order, grab a fresh bottle of water and drink about half of it and my mouth felt better, and the "sore throat" feeling went away.  Yep.  Just another case of dry mouth.  (Maybe I was snoring with my mouth open...?)  But I still didn't fall right back to sleep until I took my temperature.  Below the normal mark, so *whew* I guess I'm OK and can stop the panic-worry.

This isn't normal behavior for me.  But then again, coronavirus isn't normal, and neither is weird shopping hours at the local stores, schools and parks closed, events cancelled.  The only part I like about all this is the lack of traffic when I drive to work in the morning!

I did head out to the local park that has a trail, but there were SO many people that I didn't stay more than 15 minutes.  No sense in being out among strangers!

Stay calm, be reasonable, use care and caution,
and wash your hands!

Turmoil

The constant turmoil that we're living under is a huge burden for most of us.

I like to joke that my own life hasn't changed much with the self-quarantine orders because as a retail worker, my job is essential.  I go to work each day as normal, and life at home hasn't changed either.  The only thing I avoid is extra shopping on my day off.  Which means that I shop for one thing or another on my way out the door from work, but that's OK.  It works.  For now.

Days off can be long, however.  What to do when there are hours to fill, and no place that we should be going?  I'm itching to get out and take photos, but being 60, I don't need to expose myself unnecessarily, either. 

My thoughts are constantly on a replay loop of whatever news I've gotten recently along with my conversations with my mother about how this is such a crazy mess.  It makes me wonder just how long this is going to last?  California just announced that schools remain closed until May 1. Ouch!

In the past, how many of us wished day in and day out for a few days' rest at home as we dragged our way to our jobs each morning?  Now that we have it, are we going stir crazy?  Or as we used to say, getting cabin fever?   For me, the one thing I decided to do with the enforced time home is roll a few gallons of paint and update my home.  What better way to stay off the couch and make things nice at the same time? 

These are uncertain times, and we all have
uncertain thoughts as we try to get through
each day safe and healthy.

The best thing each of us can do is to stay
at home and avoid contact until more is known.

Be safe out there!

Family Blooper

When my family was visiting, we decided that Nothing Bundt Cakes would be dessert one night.  My daughter placed her order the night before, after I had gone to bed.  Because I was scheduled to work a half day, I left the house at O:dark hundred before the family got up.

On my way home from work, on impulse I dashed in to Nothing Bundt Cakes to pick up a few bundlets.  When I got home, my daughter said "Oh no!  I placed my own order!!"  We laughed, and as they were heading out for an outing, I volunteered to dash over and pick up her order.

When I arrived, I told the sales clerk I had an order to pick up; she asked for the last name.  To me, my daughter had the same last name for over 30 years, so naturally I gave them that name.  Hmm... No order under that name.  When she asked for the phone number, I looked in my phone for her number, and that's when it hit me:  She has a married last name now!!   lol 

Yep, I was embarrassed!!

What mother doesn't know her own daughter's name???? 

Dreaming Again

I guess when it comes right down to it, when I'm feeling low, fearful or doubtful is when I have some of the crazier dreams.  When I remember bits, I keep wishing I could remember all the details.  But I'm left with really strong impressions afterward.

Three nights ago, I had a dream that my co-worker and I transferred from our BigBox store to another one in California.  We were working late evenings.  There was a day care within the store.  Someone's kid broke a glass and we were cleaning it up so no one would get hurt.  But suddenly there came some kind of alarm and we were evacuating the store.  Some kind of water line or water pipe had burst.  We all stood in the parking lot watching water just pour out the doors of the store.  ** One thing I've noticed, there is water in many of my dreams.  When I Googled, I found:  "Water-related dreams are considered to be one of the most typical visions people have when they go to sleep at night. You may not even realize it, but the fluidity of water can symbolize your emotions and state of mind."  I get the stormy water, or even swimming in a pond.  Dreams about showers or a bath having to do with letting go of negative thoughts.  But here's one for you:  dreaming of bathrooms or toilets -- does that just mean I gotta get up and go pee??  hahaha

Two nights ago, I had a dream about a good friend.  He has always been a good friend to me, but things became complicated when feelings went beyond friendship.  Nothing had happened between us in any kind of physical sense, but the feelings were there.  And his wife found out.  She was a very elegant woman, who dressed to the nines, with a Jackie-O fashion sense.  I can still see her dark hair curled the way Jackie wore it, and she had these fabulous cats eye glasses with dark rims.  She was pouring me tea.  I reassured her that no hanky panky was going on, but she waved her hand at me, as if to say that it wasn't important any longer.    When I woke up, I was left with these feelings in real life of ... wishing, but knowing it could never be.  Those feelings stuck with me all that day and into the next night, sort of a haunting loss or longing for something that could never be real, I guess you could say. 

What is it about dreams that seem so real as we are immersed in them, and yet we wake up only to find we can remember just bits and pieces, knowing in our soul that we were fully engaged in them in the moment.  They fascinate me, and for a while I was keeping dream journals.  But as I get older, I find that I don't want to stay awake long enough to make notes any more because it's harder to get back to sleep and make up the lost time.  (lol - I never thought I'd say THAT! In my youth, I could sleep at the drop of a hat!) 

I saw someone state that most people dream for 100 minutes per night.  That seems like an awful lot!  But if you think you want to start recording your dreams, try a dream journal.  When you wake up, jot down what you remember before you start your day.  Even if it's not complete sentences, jotting words can stimulate your memory later when you want to expand on it.  And keeping a dream journal helps you notice patterns in your dreams, perhaps giving you insight into your waking life, or any issues you may be having. 

It's something I should take up again, as well.

Sheltered In

I've had five days with family visiting, and it's been wonderful!   There are two parts of this that made my life easier:  enough people to keep Sadie entertained so that she sleeps very well at night, and I can go to bed and other people in the house will lock up and shut things down. 

At the same time, there were moments when having 6 people in my 1000 sq foot house where I thought we'd all go a little nuts because we're underfoot or on top of each other as we're trying to do things.   But we all survived!!

Because of COVID-19, many of the activities planned were shut down, and there wasn't a Plan B.  Luckily, the weather held and the girls were able to hang at the pool and play some volleyball.  Today was cut short because a thunderstorm blew in around noon and they wanted to get home before it hit. 

Being "sheltered in" around the country is a wonderful time to start new traditions, resurrect some old traditions and just spend some quality time with your loved ones.  Put down your phone, turn off the TV, grab a board game or two from the back of the closet and see what comes of it.  If you've forgotten the rules, make them up as you go and have fun with it!  It's amazing what kids will talk about when their hands are busy, or there's a game going on. 

Focus on what you CAN do , and on what you HAVE, and quit worrying about what you can't do, or don't have.  There's no better way to get closer to your loved ones than being "sheltered in".

It won't be for forever,
and life will go back to how it was.
Enjoy it!
Family time matters

Family Time

One thing I'm learning as I age:  It's difficult to transition into things outside my normal routine!

I have family here visiting for five days:  My daughter, her husband, three teenage girls, and their dog, Zoey.   

Teenage girls love to stay up late and sleep til noon. 
I go to bed early and am up before daybreak!

Meal times have become so scattered!  I usually eat meals at 8am, 11am, and 4:30pm.  Which means I've had both breakfast and lunch before the girls are awake!   hahaha  It's amusing, but it's also difficult because I wasn't able to have the same days off.  I had to get up and work both Monday and Tuesday.  That puts us all on an odd schedule.

But besides sleeping and eating patterns, there are other things as well.  Showers have become difficult.  My small house has a 20 gallon hot water heater.  For six people??  That does't cut it!  We've adjusted to spacing them out, but ... last one in gets a cold shower!

Another trouble is having two dogs in the house.  Zoey is a large dog, and can be a bit aggressive -- and very protective if there's food around!  Sadie is a happy go lucky pug most of the time.  But she's very protective of "our safe haven" -- which is on top of my bed.  When Zoey attempted to jump onto the bed, Sadie became a growling beast!  But if there's food and Sadie comes sniffing around, Zoey is snapping her jaws at Sadie!  It made coming home from work on Monday rather interesting.  I couldn't eat my dinner unless I was standing up.  The dogs wouldn't leave me in peace!  We ended up sitting in the backyard --- they could roam around and I just kept on the move as well.

There's nothing like family time to make us all feel closer to each other --- we just all have to learn to respect each others' space and time. 

thank goodness for Tylenol PM.
lol

The Panic of 2020

I'm not sure how the panic started.  There's a virus called coronavirus or COVID-19 that got its start in China and is spreading around the world.  When it started hitting the US, government officials from the top to local politicians began telling people to stay home, to "shelter in", in an attempt to prevent  the spread of it.  In many places, restaurants, bars and gathering places are all either closed, or open for take-out only. 

But what happened next has been most shocking to me.  People began shopping at my BigBox store and buying up loads of toilet paper.  Then paper towels and cleaning supplies.  The next step was buying the rest of groceries in bulk quantities so that our shelves are left with nothing on them!!

This is something I've never seen before. 

At my store, when we unload a trailer from our grocery side, we dispense toilet paper, paper towels, bottled water, and hand sanitizer, one per customer.  The only time I've seen this mentality is during a Black Friday sale!!





Empty shelves .....
Empty aisles .....
shocking!

I did my own grocery shopping six days ago,
and it hadn't begun.  Today I had to shop at
6 am in order to buy a package of steaks.




It's been a hell of a year this week!

Family, Spring Break and Memories

Dear Brian,

What a bittersweet weekend this has been. 

Tee and family is here for spring break. 

We did a bunch of touristy things yesterday,

with our last stop at Hole in the Rock.







It was one of the places you and I would

dash off to when there was a need to get out,

and brought up so many thoughts of you.


But I came,  I saw,  I conquered


The sunset was amazing!

Money, Money, Money

Money can be a real pain.

Correction.

Managing money can be a real pain!

It's almost easier when you don't have much
to budget as you go.  When you have money,
there is a general laziness about it. 

Like, I bought a collar for Sadie and it doesn't
fit.  It sure would be easy to say adios to the
$8 it cost me.  But if I was struggling right now,
that same $8 might mean affording hamburger
to put in the spaghetti sauce! 

I've lived the extreme poor mode, struggling to buy only the items on sale and create some kind of meal out of those items.  Living paycheck to paycheck makes a person very aware of every dime.  I don't want to actually live that way again, but .... there are good things to be said for living that way as well.

First, you don't end up collecting a lot of "stuff" that you might like, but don't really need.  What you do buy are things that can be multi-purposed in your home.  A large bowl can be used for mixing up a pasta dish, it can also be used to hold soap and water as you're scrubbing something, or it can hold a few apples, ready to be munched on if you get hungry (because they're better for you than chips or cookies!)

Second, you get some real insight into what's important to you:

• A plant that looks nice, but you may or may not have the green thumb to keep it alive.  
• You think twice about grabbing that pricey coffee when the stuff at work in the lounge is free.  
• If it's still usable, you don't toss it out!  
• And even though it's a redneck joke cliche, "You might be a redneck if you have a full set of salad bowls that all say Cool Whip on the side of them."  
• 
  

That being said, for the time being I'm standing at the crossroads of having just enough
and learning -- or re-learning -- how to live on less again,
because retirement is looming in the not to distant future.

"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."

Hard Weeks Come and Go

Dear Brian,
It's been a hard couple of weeks.  Work has been keeping me busy, putting on a roof, trying to get some repairs done ... all the usual. 

But every now and then something springs into my mind.

and it gets me thinking waaay too much.

I cried half the way home because I couldn't get the thought of what must have been going through your mind.  Where did you get the courage?  You wrote that you didn't feel anything any more.  But that's not a truthful statement, because you were feeling .... things.   It hurts my soul, and the hole in my heart aches when I think about it. 

It's easy to keep busy and shove it to the back of my mind, but this week has been harder, because Tee and the crew are coming up for a 5 day stay-cation.  It will be great to have some family time.  Maybe that's what I need - some time to put new memories on top of the old ones. 

I got the backyard ready for company:  the chairs and bench are set up around the fire pit.  Dogs and s'mores are on the menu!  Remember the book you bought, "3000 things about Me"?  Well, I took that thought and wrote down some questions that we can all answer around the fire, maybe get some convos going with these teenage girls. 

The garage is taking shape, getting painted, and things put up in places where it's easy for me to find things.  I know you kept it in a way that works for you - but that just didn't work for me.  lol  You know what I'm talking about.  I bought some TSP and washed the garage floor where the apple cider had left it's mark.  I arranged some rugs and have my exercise stuff out there now. 

When the kids are here, I'm going to have A do a few little things - the front nozzle is broken and the threads are frozen.  Found some old VHS tapes of you and Tee growing up.  Maybe he'll hook up the VCR so we can look at them. 

The house looks fantastic with the new roof on.  Every day when I drive up after work, it's like someone who's wearing a new hat:  it just tops it off so good!

I'm rambling about all this to you because it's the only way I can get past some of the other feelings I have that make me want to curl up and cry for days.

I miss you every day - and even more when something breaks!
Love,
Mom

The Joy of Writing

hahahah

I like to write. 

It could be a work of fiction, relating details of things going on in life, sharing a joke or story I heard ... it doesn't seem to matter what it is, but I enjoy it.  I've called it many things over the years:  keeping a diary, writing a journal, then with social media all the rage, blogging. 

Every now and then, I look back at some of the things I've written, and I guess when it comes to a "style" of my writing, what I write comes from the heart.  Sometimes with humor, sometimes satire, and other times, good old fashioned ranting!! 

I don't want to try to be a specific somebody.  And maybe that's well and good for professionals who earn their living at writing; me, I'm just plain ol' me.  Take it as it comes.

But I find it quite therapeutic.

I don't write because I am all about the followers or any kind of "like" or comment.  I have a few friends on FaceBook who can be that way,
but that's never been my thing at all.

I write for me, for the joy it brings me,
and sometimes, when I've ranted a good piece,
it's almost as good as punching something.
Or someone.

Bright Blessings, my friend.

Life Balance

Trying to find a good life balance when you add up all the things a person wants to accomplish in a day or a week, it's not an easy task! 

My work life consumes 10 hours a day, then there's walking the dog, finding time to do a few chores and squeeze in a little exercise as well, and before you know it, it's bedtime!  And there's paperwork that didn't completed, maybe a few bills needed to be paid, then add in the creative stuff that I enjoy doing. 

Where did I find all the time to do those things in the past ?????

And how will I create time for myself to do those things now ?

With everything that's been going on, sometimes just getting through the work day is the only struggle I can get through.  Other days, it goes a little better and I feel like I get a few things accomplished.  I am in awe over how much I can get done just on my phone, and yet, it still doesn't seem like it's enough some days. 

One day at a time

It helps to make a list

I like the feeling I get when I can actually check something OFF my list!

Which reminds me, I need to make a "Honey Do" list for my son in law when he's here next week.
(He doesn't know it yet, though. haha)

Because today was a better day than most,
here's a photo of the flowers I planted last week
using the new Canon camera and filter I shopped for today!