Do Rules Apply?

When you're "roommates" with your grown adult child, are there rules that apply?

My son is 34 and recently moved back home.  He doesn't seem to have his life on track, owes money to many different credit cards, and as nicely as I've offered to help in this arena, he hasn't done anything with it that I can see.  It's not really my business except for the fact that he lives in my house, I am charging him only $400 in rent, and that includes food.  (hell, he eats that much in a month!)

But sometime Sunday it seems he left the house, and didn't come home to sleep before work - he works the night shift.  While I made him lunch, his bedroom door was closed and I thought he was asleep.  His alarm went off and he didn't get up, so I knocked on his door.  Nope, not in there.  So I turned off all his "stuff" and closed the door. 

But here's my question:  if you're roommates, what are the house rules???

If you're going to be gone, should you leave a note?  text msg?
If someone is helping you out of a jam, should you help around the house?

I realize that as a mom, I can't expect him to live by rules that I established when he was a teenager and still under my roof.  But at the same time, it's my house and I need to be comfortable with things.  Last weekend, he had a girl over just before midnight.  It bothered Sadie, and she woke me up several times. I finally had to tell him that his friend needed to leave.  It IS my house, and since I'm footing the bills, I need to get my sleep so that I can go to work.

I felt bad about that situation, but what about the house rules???

My biggest fear is that this girl is really just a girl -- and I suspect its the daughter of the woman he was living with for two+ years.  Which in my opinion makes her too young for him.   I'm at a loss as to where or what to do next. 

Other than create a set of house rules, and make them stick.
It sucks trying to do "tough love" on your grown children ....
but sometimes it's necessary.

1997 East Coast Trip (part 5)

One of the things I wanted in New York was an infamous crazy taxi driver ride.   We hopped in a cab after Liberty Island to get to the Empire State Building and told our driver what we wanted, and he was happy to oblige!  We went careening and zooming through lights, horn honking a few times, swerving in and around traffic.  It was a whole lot of fun!  We wandered through the streets of New York because buying our ESB tickets there was a wait time.  We watched as peddlers sold watches and assorted items along the street; lots of little vendors selling food items such as "hot dogs with the worx".













Another silly little thing that people don't know about me ... I definitely wanted to go into some place "adult", just so I could say that I did!  And down the side street I noticed a purple sign.  I walked on down to the door, nervous as all get out, and opened it, never knowing what to expect!  There was a front desk, and I grabbed one of these purple advertisements.  Glancing around, I notice scantily clothed women dancing on tables.

Needless to say, I didn't hang around long - just long enough to say I'd "been there, done that!!!"

















When it was time, we got in line to take the elevator
up to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building.
It was a high speed elevator and took no time at all!
Whoosh and we're there, the doors open and you can
walk all around, looking out over the city.  It's a long
way up -- too high for my liking!  Looking to the
south, you can see Wall Street, the World Trade Center
Buildings (The Twin Towers) the Verrazano Bridge
and the Statue of Liberty!   There was also a snack
bar and souvenir counters.  This building has been
called "the cathedral of the skies" soaring more than
a quarter mile into the atmosphere above Manhattan.
From the ground, looking up, you can't see that much :P