Genealogy Huntress

I consider myself a genealogist, amateur, but I'm pretty good at being patient when hunting and searching the internet for anything and everything I might get my hands on for my family history.  

But what happens after that?

I'm still trying to come up with something that will work for all of my data, my documentation, and mostly for the stories that I do have, few that they are.  

I don't want them getting lost in a shuffle of papers after I'm gone.  So I guess going digital is the best way to handle it.  I have been putting my stories into one little blog blurb after another.  My sister was getting an email every time I posted, and she told me I needed to put these on Facebook.  Well, I spent all last summer posting a photo every day, putting what little I knew about each photo, or persons, in some kind of story.  But the family?  eh.  They looked but barely acknowledged the efforts.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this for some kind of kudos or a thumbs up "like" from folks.  I just think it's information that needs to be recorded, to be shared.  Because I honestly believe that it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know where you come from.  

Or maybe I'm just some kind of "not your ordinary" person who thinks all of this is important.  Does it matter where the family came from?  Or who did what and when?  Maybe not.  But I'm very interested in trying to locate our history.  Maybe it became ... ok, I'll admit it ... an obsession when none of my grandparents were willing to discuss anything of the past.  At all.  Grandma Myrtle would always tell me "just let sleeping dogs lie".  Grandpa Pape, he never even got the name of this father's sister correct.  We always thought it was Anna.  Turns out it was Emma!   Or that they traveled here with their Uncle when then emigrated.  What's the big deal? And Great Grandpa's wife, no one truly knew her maiden name, and there wasn't any discussion as to why she was committed into Fergus Falls State Hospital -- back then it was because you weren't .... stable enough to live a complete life?

All these little oddities that come up -- I have always looked for answers.  Haven't gotten many, and some of the research has been difficult, because in many cases, farming families were too poor to even have a burial or a headstone, so that data just disappears as well.  

It always makes me wonder if somewhere down the line, some great grandchild of mine will inherit my genealogy bug.

I hope so.

Family Stories

It's funny how when something .... out of the ordinary is going on, it affects many different things.  Lately, I've been dredging up old memories and trying to tell the story of what happened with my daughter and "the sperm donor" of my granddaughter.   His name was Tony, and he was a piece of work -- one of those fast talking, thinks he's so smooth kind of guys.  Always a story about the next big $core coming his way. 

All of this was 17 years ago.  There's a part of me who wants to agree with how my grandmother handled personal history:  what's in the past should stay in the past! is what she would tell me.  But with my interest in all the parts of genealogy, I get that it's important to know things.  Personally, being able to track the daughter, mother, grandmother, great grandmother ...... well, the line itself is good to know, I've always been after the part where there's "more to the story".

I have many old black and white photos of my grandmother and her family. But nothing tells about why the photo was taken, or if it was for an occasion.  Sisters all dressed in black and looking sad -- was it for a funeral?  Who's funeral?  I'm a big believer in making sure I write about each photo I take because someone may want to know!  Or maybe I'm one of the rare odd ones???  We'll never know.


All that said, it's for these reasons that I've agreed to share my part of the story with my granddaughter.  And with whomever ends up reading this blog in the future.

Dear B:   I understand your having questions about your father, and the need to know a little something about him.  I'll tell you that I got the OK from your mom first of all to answer what I can about him.  I won't call him your "dad", because he never was a dad.  A dad is someone who loves you, takes care of you.  You know all about a dad, because you have A now, and that's a real dad. 

In truth, I have no idea where Tony is now.  And as much as I can understand your wanting to know, I'm not sure you'll be happy with very much of what I have to say about him.  I don't want to skim the surface with a name and a few facts.  I think the story leading up to when you were born is important for you to know.  I'm just not sure you're ready or wanting to hear the things that need to be said. 

While we are all created by the two people who made us, the person we really are happens because of the people around us, who love us, help us to grow and learn, help us to be who we're meant to be.  And in truth, he wasn't a part of any of that, in any way. 

His name is Tony.  I don't know where your mom met him, but Hamilton, Ohio is a small town.

To start the story, I'm going to tell you about your mom:

When your mom turned 18, she was very happy with her newfound freedom.  She was working part time at Meijer's (a store similar to Walmart).  She had graduated from high school, and it was time to find her way into adulthood.  But as with every teenager, sometimes you make bad decisions.

One night, she decided to go out "cruising" with her friend in her TBird.  This is definitely a road car, not a car made for driving dirt or gravel roads out in the country.  Because I'm the Mom, I am not certain if there was some alcohol consumed that affected her decision making.  But she decided to drive her car on the mountain of dirt behind the local Walmart store.  The car got stuck in some very deep potholes; the road up and down again was muddy because of the rain.  It took a tow truck to get her car out of there.

This was just an example of how a "good time" can easily turn into a bad situation because what feels right to us in our teen years isn't always what's best for us in the long run.  (And yes, she was grounded from driving; we removed the wheels from the car and locked them up!!)

It was shortly after this that she met Tony.  Being as headstrong as she was, she was sure he was "all that" and then some!  Being a parent means letting your kids have a little freedom while still trying to guide them to be the best person they could be.  That was my job.  And when I was introduced to Tony, I didn't see him as "all that" like your mom did, but I tried to be patient, and see what happens.  I tried to see the good things that your mom saw.  But I didn't like that he was a smooth talker, trying to talk fast and impress people with things that we found out weren't true in the end.  I didn't trust him much, but trusted your mom.  I think she saw him through "love goggles" and couldn't see the bigger picture.

Your mom was busy working, but Tony didn't have a job.  And to me that didn't sit right.  (Personally, I think a relationship needs to have balance between the two persons in a relationship.)  And it didn't seem like that was the case.  Thanksgiving came along and Tony had dinner with our family.   I have a picture from this day, but I'll have to dig it up on my next day off.

As for the off road experience your mom had, I got side tracked and forgot why I included that little tidbit in my little story.  First, can you see your mom deciding to take her little blue car out on rough terrain roads?   Lol, no, I can't either.  That's because as we get older and mature, we make better decisions than what we make when we're just 18, because we can see the bigger picture.   Sometimes our actions affect other people around us, and our little teenage brains don't comprehend that until later in life.  My point about that is when you have your first "real love" it can feel like such a great thing when in fact, the "love goggles" part makes us kind of blind to the real truth about things, about the circumstance and sometimes about the other person and how they really are. 

I'm sure you've come across friends at school who seem like they're fun to hang with, but when you watch them close, you can see that they're sometimes mean in their comments about another person, or that they tell little lies or spread rumors.  "Love goggles" make you blind to those kinds of things.

To answer your question, I know that Tony was in prison because he committed crime(s).  What his term in prison was for at this time, I would only be venturing a guess based on events that happened. 

I'm sure you'll let me know when you're ready for more of the story.

Love, 

Grandma

Summer Project

Every year during our "winter time" here in the desert -- yes, to the rest of the world that means summer.  But here, today, at 108 degrees, being outside doesn't happen if I don't have to.  So every year, I fiddle around with a project.  Last year it was home improvement DIY projects with Brian's room.  This year .... I need something that doesn't cost money now that I'm making car payments again.  ugh.

So I decided that I'm going to try and chronicle my growing up years.  I'll select a few photos and write about what was going on at the time.  I've been doing the same in my photo albums, 2 or 3 pages a day.  Because what good is a photo if you don't know anything else about it ??  

I'll admit, sometimes it's difficult to write something about a photo -- your child age 2 wearing someone's sunglasses ... not much needs to be said, I'm thinking!   It's just cute :)  But ... I do make sure there's a name and date on the photo ... because future generations might want to know!   And because my daughter and my granddaughter look like twins born 20 years apart!   :)

I'll be posting these stories in a different blog..  Not sure why I started it elsewhere, but at one point .... well,  that's water under the bridge.

It's danipape.blogspot.com - Where Family Memories Live On  if you want to follow along

My parents moved to California in 1962, Mom's pregnant with my sister, and they decided to make a move, follow a dream if you will.  My life sure would have been different if they hadn't!  

Here's our first apartment.  We lived downstairs, my mom's sister and her family lived upstairs.

And the adventure begins!