Say Something

A Great Big World, and Christina Aguilara have this wonderful song out called "Say Something" .... and so many lines in the song, maybe its the piano ... I just love the chords in this song.  Marvelous.

But in this gal's saga, there's someone who, two years ago, I would have followed anywhere.  I believed in something, in someone, who wasn't - couldn't - didn't even try - to be honest with me.  People are funny, me included.  We want to believe things, want others to be as truthful as we are.  But there are those out there who aren't - can't - don't even try to be.   How sad.  It brought me to a huge realization in the past month or so about who I am, and why I choose men that I do.   I had an idyllic childhood, things that TV shows are made of. Take your pick:  Wonder Years, Leave it to Beaver, Brady Bunch even.  My family stayed together, we did things together, traveled, camped, and truly enjoyed each others' company (most of the time! haha)  We had our own little problems within our family, but they were all overshadowed by the fact that we were a family, and loved each other despite our differences.

Because of what I had, I found myself wanting to give that to men who didn't have that.  All three of my husbands had a less than idyllic childhood, and I created that atmosphere within our own family, first with my own kids, and then with stepkids.  We traveled, camped and had family fun times.  What became the issue, it seems to me, is that I expected them (the husbands and kids) to be like it was when I was a kid too.  And life can't be recreated.  Life is to be created anew within the confines of the family you are in.

Maybe looking back, I can see now how my choices were formed.  And I can definitely say I've learned from it.  There was an encounter with a fellow named Dwayne -- and I could see the pattern all over again.  But the one thing I know now is that I'm not willing to share and make sacrifices to create that again for anyone.  I'm at a place in my life where I've found contentment in having the time to do things for me.  Is it as fulfilling as I'd like it to be?  Naw, life can always be better.... but its enough.

Here's a link, give it a listen if you want to:  Say Something

Michael:  anywhere I would have followed you.

I have swallowed my pride
You're the one that I love
but I'm saying goodbye.

Mission Accomplished!

My New Year's Resolution is pretty basic this year:  Do things for me, to please me.  Maybe that sounds a little selfish, but it isn't mean to sound that way.  What I mean to say is that we (yes, all of us) get so busy doing our routines, the need-to's and the have-to's, that we forget that there is a beautiful world out there, and we should be finding our joy.
   

This was a really busy work week for me - all those Christmas presents being returned make for a lot of work and I was working extra hours in the beginning of the week just to catch up.  Working retail means nothing more than 40 hours per week, once the max is reached, they scoot us out and send us home!  Being it was a gorgeous day when I walked outside, I got home and mandated that Brian get dressed and head with me over to the Lost Dutchman State Park.  I have gone two or three other times with the goal to complete the Treasure Loop hike -- and haven't ever gotten all the way.  One time it was nearing evening, the sun was low in the sky, some clouds moved in; we needed to turn around and head back, as it was nearly dark by the time we reached the bottom again.  Then of course, the rain drenched us just after we reached the car.  (Drenching rain in the desert can make for slippery hiking, for sure.)  The next time, my girls were with, and the little one had a cold.  We turned around and headed back after we'd reached a resting place on some rocks.  Had I known we were less than two minutes from the top, I might have insisted we keep going! 


Yesterday, however, was a huge TAA -DAA moment!  We reached the summit of the hike, and down the other side to complete the loop.  Was THRILLED!  Going up you ascend about 700 feet in just under a mile.  It's a trek if you're not prepared for it, but we were -- plenty of water, snacks and rested part of the way because Sadie was panting a little.  hehehe

It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny at 70 degrees, just right for an afternoon hike in the sun.
A beautiful "me" moment, for sure!

This last picture of a Saguaro Cactus
I like a lot because of the streak in the sky
looks like lightning!