Old Souls

Old Souls is an expression I've heard off and on throughout life.  And I've found over the years that I am drawn to old souls, as if recognizing an old friend, even if we've never met.  They are few and far between for me, and come in all kinds of ages.  Many of them are younger, and drawing into a relationship with them at my age can sometimes cause issues.   So I thought I'd do a little research and see if I can find some more enlightenment about old souls.

"The old soul doesn't see the purpose of pursuing things that can be easily taken away from them. Additionally, old souls have little time and interest for the short-lived things in life, as they bring little meaning or long lasting fulfillment for them." - LonerWolf

If you didn't know your chronological age, what age would you guess yourself to be?  When I was in my 20s, I already felt like I was in my 40s - or older.    I always felt like I was born in the wrong time period.  But in checking up on "signs that you're an old soul", I read that they're a solitary loner, they like knowledge, wisdom and truth; spiritually inclined, thoughtful and introspective.    Well.  That all fits, for sure.   I also found this interesting:   "Those undergoing the fifth and final stage of reincarnation are known as old souls. In this stage of soul evolvement there is a search for balance and completion, and an urge to pass on the torch before the end of reincarnation.  They tend to be drawn to the quiet life away from the noise of the city.  "

So where does all that leave a person who feels like an old soul?

Of that I'm never certain.  I have moments where I feel like I shouldn't be an old soul, that I should be doing things different, doing more things .... but when it comes down to it, I am an old soul, and am comfortable with the way things are.  I've never been the kind who wants to go out and make a difference in the world, nor do I want to have a job where I make lots of money and have the materialistic things to show for it.  I've always been happy having a job that I enjoy doing, no matter what the pay is (or isn't), I don't go for buying a lot of showy things.  I'm a simple, down to earth kind of gal, with simple needs.

When I was in my 20s, my goal was to own my own house
by the time I'm 50.  Mission accomplished!
The rest of it has been good,
I've had good times, good family, good memories,
but nothing like what others consider as "successful".

And this "old soul" is OK with that!

The (Tarnished) Golden Years

Getting older is never a fun thing.  When I was a kid, I always heard about "the golden years", about how life gets better as we're older, kids are grown, responsibilities change, and there's more time for yourself to pursue your own pleasures now.

Well, there are two sides to that "golden years" myth.  What if you don't have your health?  That's always a huge concern.  I'm lucky, I've had issues, but overall I'm pretty healthy *knock on wood*.  The other part is with people living longer, the rate of divorce, etc, when you reach your golden years and you're alone, sometimes struggling paycheck to paycheck, it can sometimes feel more like tarnished years!

I'm not complaining, but there are times when at my age, I feel as if I'm becoming more and more invisible.  The media puts the young, the beautiful out there ... and we've become inured to that as being the norm -- when in fact a mature older woman finally knows what she wants, there's less drama -- we shouldn't be invisible!

But the main point I wanted to bring up was about reaching these "golden years" and realizing that you haven't achieved something you dreamed of.  I've always had a passion for farms, farm houses and barns, and old houses.  Renovating them was something I always wanted to do, but never had the time when I was raising kids.  Never had the money or a partner to take that on later in life.  I still think I'd do it now, if I didn't have to work at a job that .... leaves things to be desired in the "making a difference, doing what you love" department.

So what now?  I'll be 57 in a week, and I wonder what's next in my life.  Another 10 years on the job until I retire?  Sometimes I feel as if I'm still 35 in my head, and that I still have time to do all that I've wanted to do.  But that time is becoming less and less.

Frankly, maybe it will feel less that way after the heat leaves the Valley of the Sun.  Cabin fever is usually associated with folks who live with a lot of snow -- but the heat does the same thing to us here in the desert.  We are camped out indoors with the AC.  I tried doing some home improvement stuff, but having to live with the fumes of paint or stain circulating with the AC isn't good for any of us, so .... we wait for Sept 15, which is the average end of excessive summer heat for us.  Thank goodness!

So in the meantime, I'm trudging along doing what I can given current circumstances, but making plans for things (and attitudes) to be better come fall.

Happy Summer Days!