Losses

I've had more than my fair share of losses, and as I get older I realize there are going to be more losses to come.  But they can be overwhelming at times.  My dad, then my son, my sister then my dog, Sadie.  There are other kinds of losses as well; others have lost their jobs or their homes because of the pandemic.  Thank goodness I haven't had those!   But there is also a loss of connection with family and friends because of distances and the lack of social get togethers because of the pandemic as well.  

Take, for example, graduation ceremonies.  My only granddaughter graduated high school this week, but I wasn't able to attend.  The pandemic restricted the number of tickets per student who could attend the graduation and because I am out of town, I couldn't attend.  Just a small example of feeling slighted, excluded, from my daughter's family activities.  And some days that makes me really, really sad.  

That was my day today.  Just feeling low and barely motivated to get things done.  Her graduation was on Thursday, and was online live, but by the time my work day ended and my phone convo with my mother was completed, the rest of my evening was lost because of my own bad mood.  

I've been trying to learn to let go of the pressure I feel in taking care of my mom long distance.  It's not easy and some days after a conversation I feel kind of .... wiped out.  So I've been doing some breathing exercises.  I'm sure it would be a bigger stress reducer if I'd jump on my treadmill, but it's just exhausting to even think of finding the energy to just do it.  

Yes.  I know I'm kind of complaining a bit but sometimes I would like someone willing to take some of my own load at times.  But I can't see myself being married again, so that's out. lol

Spring Cleaning: A New Way

 When it's spring, when skies are blue and weather is warm, the urge to do some spring cleaning seems to claim us all.  Open windows, fresh air and a clean house seem to go hand in hand.  That was me today. Although, truthfully, it's supposed to be up over 100 degrees today here in the Valley of the Sun.  Which is why I was "up and at 'em" at 6am.  lol   

I don't mind most spring cleaning chores, but the one that I tend to put off over and over is the bathroom - specifically my walk in shower.  Sure, off and on I do little scrub downs, but I'm talking major spring cleaning.  I decided not to put it off any more and began tackling it.  One of the things I discovered that makes it very easy is to remove the shower doors, take them outside and scrub them down, first with a bit of CLR.  I lay them out, squirt on the liquid and swoosh it around with a broom that I use only for my showers.  After hosing them, flipping them over and doing the other side, I then scrub them down with a little Dawn dish soap.  They come out real shiny! 

As the doors are drying in the morning sun, I got in and tackled the shower itself:  squirt Dawn across the walls and floor then swoosh it all over with a little water using my broom.  I know, it sounds just a little bit crazy, but it works great!  After rinsing it all off, what I noticed most is how fresh and clean it smells.  That's what sold me on it the most!

What I came to realize is that washing the bathroom with all those strong chemicals to get things clean, there was an after-smell that would carry on for a day or two, no matter how many windows were opened, how many fans were blowing to help, you can't escape that chemical smell.  Which is one of the reasons that I would put off the heavy duty spring cleaning!  And if my shower can come out clean and shiny without that smell, well, from now on I'm using Dawn every time to clean the shower!