Grand Old Movies

Sometimes life is just crazy .... HULU has two fav movies playing now:  That Thing You Do and Pretty Woman.  So, I'm watching Pretty Woman for the second time in 3 days, and I watched That Thing You Do five times in the past week, twice on Saturday!  

So what does that say about me? Am I nuts?

I contemplated all day about why the draw to old movies.  Do they remind me of better times? Different times? Happier times?  or maybe just something familiar?

Some movies have the ability to draw you in and adds something to how you're feeling.  I get the Pretty Woman thing - it's the perpetual Cinderella story.  No matter how you wrap the overall ideal, having the girl meet her prince charming, it's a timeless story, full of ideals.  For some of us who never got the Prince Charming, we all relate to the wishful thinking that it could happen!  As little girls, we were told it was possible.  But I have to admit, it was a wonderful dream, but never happened for me.

As for That Thing You Do ... maybe that's part of the young girl dreams as well.  A little bit of luck and the possibilities are endless for this little band with a hit record.  I also like that it's set in the 1950s, and era that to me symbolizes the American Dream, the one where if you work hard, you too can be a success!  Of course, in my opinion, the music is pretty good too! 

I don't feel guilty about indulging in these movies, and maybe it's my way of escapism from the issues that crop up trying to take care of Mom.  I moved away from family because I was tired of being the caretaker, and yet here I am again.  

Oh, here come's the good part .... Edward is going to hire Vivian for the week.  It only gets better from here!   Thank goodness for grand old movies!!  Enjoy!

Life's Purpose

Life's purpose.  As far back as high school, I can remember being concerned about where my life would lead - what would my job or career be? Would I get married? have kids?   This is the beginning of our self discovery for our purpose in life.   As I look back, I realize that while we may do some preliminary discovery, our purpose may change with each decision we make.   Some people are lucky and just seem to know what their purpose in life will be.  My sister, for example, knew from an early age that she wanted to be a teacher.  Me?  I knew I didn't have it in me to do that!  Where she was outgoing and liked people, I preferred no people.  

But we graduate high school; some move on to university, and some to junior college, and some straight into the work force.  Some made their choices based on a relationship that was currently ongoing.  I tried the junior college route, preferring to go to night school while working a full time job.  And yes, a part of that choice was made because of a relationship at the time.  (Isn't it funny that we look back and wonder "WTF was I thinking???" )

Marriage.  Children.  Your purpose changes again.  You're working as opposed to having a real career.  Your purpose revolves around raising children.  You're left with decisions about how you want your children to be raised, with what values.  Once children are grown, your purpose may change yet again. Perhaps you're caring for aging parents, or about to enter that phase.  

We're always having to rethink our purpose, why we do what we do.  

I'm at another stage of that process.  I spent many years working and preparing a path to make my son's life just a little bit easier.  It was my goal to buy a house, and have it paid off, so his life wouldn't be such a struggle when it was my time to leave this earth.  But his suicide changed all that, and now? What's my purpose?  

I go to my job, because it's expected.  And I'm taking care of my Mom now, because it's expected.  But what is my reason for doing what I'm doing now?  I find these thoughts troubling at times.  Expectations we had when we were younger and still learning sometimes fall short of the reality once we get there.  I remember being young, elementary school, and they talked often about the "Golden Years".  That was back when Dad's worked at a job where there was a pension, and you retired at the golden age of 65 and then spent your days being a little more care free, less stressed.  But the world has changed so much since then.  Instead of a pension, you find yourself putting your own funds into a 401k or something similar to save money for your retirement.  Only retirement gets pushed further and further away.  Instead of 65, it's 66, 67 or 68.  And even then, if you haven't done some due diligence in saving for your future, you end up working all of your days.. I work with several people who are in their 70s and having to work because they can't afford to life on just their social security. 

So why am I rambling about all this??  Some days I feel like I'm ready to retire, to take my money and run.  But then I take a day or two off and wonder what the hell would I do with myself all day if I didn't go to work every day?  Because working every day is a way of life for me. It's what I do, have always done.  

Think hard about your life's purpose.  Make a plan.  You can always change it, but having a direction makes the road a lot easier.