Thursday, July 2, 2026

July 2nd

For me, July 2nd, 2019, defines my Before and After.  My life After has been so very different from my Before.  

July 2 is the day my son died by suicide.

And it left behind so many questions that will never be answered. So many guilty feelings that are hard to cope with. And it left an empty hole in so many lives.

I've read a lot, commiserated with other parents dealing with the same situation. We all share the same ... blank answers to questions that will never be answered.

One of the ways I coped was writing him letters every day, sometimes expressing the hurt, sometimes just telling him family gossip. It was a good way to cope, to feel connected.

I still do these things, just not as often. 

I miss him every day.

Pizza and Pepsi for dinner tonight, and looking at some photos, remembering all the good times.  Cherish those memories.



Wednesday, July 1, 2026

Color

I grew up in the 70s. Had my kids in the 80s. The world was so colorful back then!  True, I am not willing to go back to kitchen appliances being Harvest Gold or Avocado. In fact, in my first apartment, the appliances were turquoise!!  So 50s, It was fantastic! 

But have you taken a good look around?  Most of the cars are white, black or grey. And if you look on any DIY home repair show, the paint colors are some sort of beige or grey.

Are we losing our color? 

"Statistically, yes. A Science Museum Group analysis found that in 1800, about 40% of everyday objects were colorful, whereas today that has dropped to 15%.

"Modern aesthetics often equate neutral palettes (like "sad beige" interiors or raw concrete) with sophistication and wealth."

Are we losing ourselves in this bland colorless life? 

Its true, we probably get enough color from the stuff we see on our phones.  When I was in elementary school ... or was it junior high? We all wanted to copy the cool kids, how we dressed, the color of our shoes, and later the color of our cars. 

It has been a slow shift to a less colorful world, but is it better?? 

I admit, my bedrooms are a pearly grey, my living areas Navajo White (which is just another kind of beige). But it makes a great backdrop for all of the photos I have hanging on walls. 

One living room wall is wallpapered in a fence pattern with turquoise accent paint. To balance that out, several of the frames and one floor lamp are painted turquoise. I like color! 

My kitchen cupboards have red trim all around, along with a display shelf painted red ..... again, I like color!  

Take a look around you. Have we let "influencers" suggestively insinuate their ideas on us?? Make us believe that muted tones equates wealth or affluence? 

It makes me wonder, how long will it be before things shift back to color again? Maybe we will never have the brilliant blues or greens on cars again like in the 70s, but we shouldn't dismiss colors in other places.

Colors bring joy!