Sunday Musings

Here it is, Sunday night.  And I'm a bit out of sorts.  I worked today.  I'm off on Monday.  I can't remember the last time I had a Monday off!  I think it's been years!  But I have the day off so that I can cover a vacation.  It'll be a love/hate week of work - LOTS of work, I'll be doing the work of two persons, in a one-person shift.  Cuz that's how retail rolls.  :/   But I'm good, I work smarter, not harder.  lol  My Dad always told me that one!!

So many odd dreams lately, I haven't been taking a notes, just remembering what I can.  In one, I was teaching my ex mother-in-law how to shoot a rifle.  Verrrrry strange!   It's an odd feeling, being filled with all these weird images that involve people from my past.  I'm guessing it might mean there are unresolved issues? or things left unsaid I wished I'd said?   Hard to say.  Or maybe it's as simple as "if there was someone I wanted to hurt with a rifle, Doris would be the one who'd stand by me and help??"  lmao.  Ok.  Probably not that.

Closer to the truth would be it's related to my delving into the past with some family history.  I just can't seem to let go of a few things that really bother me.  My Dad's family was raised in a town called Alvarado.  His grandmother lived in town, on Fering Street, and paid $7/month rent in 1930 according to the census.  And she lived alone.  In this same year, only 300+/- people lived in this town.  One of them was her half brother, Olof and his kids.  This is an old time community, 1930 was a difficult year, and folks in the midwest farming communities pulled together - you depended on family to get you through the tough times.  And yet, as far as I can tell, there are no family stories, or photos, of any kind of get-togethers, even on holidays.  I have some wonderful old copies of events from parts of the family, but absolutely nothing on this other side of the family.  It's just ... so odd.  Contradicts everything we were raised with, values and such.  I keep hoping, and thinking, that if I poke hard enough, something will come to light.  But I'm guessing not, and I should just be able to leave it alone.  It's probably time to do just that, and go with the memories that we DO have and leave the rest alone.

And maybe the dreams will stop as well.