Fall & Old Loves

Fall is coming soon to the Valley of the Sun.  While it's still over 100's on a daily basis, you can sense there's a change in the weather about to happen.   And as I get older, I find myself wanting to know about the people who meant a lot to me when I was a lot younger.  People who influenced me in a big way when I was still trying to find my own identity.  One of those people is a guy named Ron Parker.

When I was 19-20 years old, I worked for a forklift dealership, back in the service department.  I would take calls from customers and dispatch a mechanic over to fix their forklift.  It was a job that took a lot of time management, and I was really good at it.  (Besides, what better job for a young female than a job telling ten men where to go and what to do ????)  I took a few lumps and hard knocks from a few of them, but I earned their respect, and most of them treated me like a little sister.  They watched out for me if we stopped for drinks after work, made sure I was OK to drive home, listened when life seemed unfair.  Except Ron.  He was different.  Long and lanky, he had a quick smile and great eyes.  He was pretty handy with a wrench, too!    I was hooked, fell hard.  But I was engaged to my high school sweetheart.  (Which is another weird and winding story...)

I was young and inexperienced in the ways of other men, having known only my high school sweetheart.  I was raised old fashioned and since he was my first, I knew I was supposed to stay .... and then I met Ron.  He was many things my fiance wasn't.  And when I was with him, I felt important, that what I had to say mattered, that my knowledge and my common sense didn't have to be hidden, because he was just as smart and had just as much common sense.  It's hard to put it all into words because so many years have passed, but he was just so much more than my fiance.

We started hanging out together, enjoying a few beers with the guys after work.   It became a weekly ritual and needless to say, I wasn't fit to drive one night.  I went home with Ron.  He didn't take advantage of me, he just took care of me, let me sleep it off.  Without having to add any high school style commentary, or rude jokes.

We became close, and I was sure it was love.  And more than that.  Because we were friends on equal footing.  And that seemed important.  I started hanging out at his house, he took me to meet his parents.  No one pushed, even though it was obvious that I had an important decision to make:  Ron or Fiance.   And I wanted Ron.  So I told my parents, who went through the roof because wedding plans were already in place.  They had me in counseling with the family pastor immediately.  Oddly enough, he agreed that if I had this many doubts, I probably shouldn't get married.  But my parents were good with the guilt, and I walked down that aisle, looking over my shoulder every chance I could get, wondering if Ron would be there "like a knight in shining armor" ready to take me away from the place I didn't really want to be.

As I look back on all that now, I don't recall much of my wedding at all.  And Ron is the reason why.   But he had too much respect for me as a person to choose for me; he knew I needed to choose for myself.   In the end, I couldn't go against my parents' wishes.

But here is it, fall again, and I find myself thinking of him, because I enjoyed our time together in September into November.

I wonder what became of his life, did he marry or have kids?
has he been happy?  Is he still in California?
.Does he ever think about me?

Maybe some day, I'll have my answers.