Battling Anxiety

I'm not sure if "anxiety therapy" is something that's real, but it's something that I'm attempting.  Having lived with BAM (Bile Acid Malabsorption) since my gallbladder was removed in 2013, life hasn't been very pleasant.  I have to take cholestyramine on a daily basis to control bouts of diarrhea.  It took two years to diagnose this before I was prescribed meds.

Looking back, I found I was slowly becoming like a hermit, never going places for fear of not finding a bathroom in time.  NOT a fun way to live!  There were days when I couldn't make the entire drive home from work (all of 20 minutes or so) without stopping at a restroom.

Things don't get too bad if I remember my meds the same time every day, and watch what and how much I eat - I try to make sure I take in enough healthy carbs (which usually means I eat brown rice nearly every day!) If there's some place I need to be, I begin planning my regimen a few days before, making sure there won't be problems during an outing.  This, of course, creates the opposite issue, chronic constipation -- and that's almost as bad!

Last weekend, I took myself to Superstition Springs mall, the one I shop at when I venture out to a mall.  It's familiar and I know where many of the restrooms are, so the sense of panic and anxiety are less than other places.

This weekend, I went out of my comfort zone and headed for Arizona Mills. Lived in AZ for 11 years now, never been there before.  It was a very happening place!  many store and places to eat, with a focus on things for kids to do ie: LegoLand and some kind of aquarium.   I was a bit uncomfortable with all the people, but I was able to walk around inside for about 40 minutes! For me ... that's an accomplishment!! 

So whether you call it "anxiety therapy" or something else, it's working for me!
For anyone else battling anxiety, I hope you find whatever works for you too!

Saturdays can be fun!

Here it is, another Saturday, and I decided that today I'm going to do things different.  Or rather, I'm going to take some time to do something for myself.  I rarely do that any more, because I like being a home-body, but sometimes that's not enough!

This morning, I jumped in my car and dashed over to my fav park to try out the new camera; not happy with all the results, there are areas I need to work on!  But 40 minutes away from the house was nice.  When I uploaded the photos, I found that there's an issue with bright light that I need to compensate for.  Perhaps I just need a UV filter.

Then I changed clothes and decided that I would head for the mall (mostly because it's AC'd and today's weather was a warm 99+ )   I shopped for a couple new work shirts, and ended up with a navy tie dye tshirt and another tshirt with a dragonfly embroidered on it! 

Then I shopped for a new purse, mine was getting a little ratty on the handle.  But deciding on which one?  Wow, that took a long time! 

• First there is all the lovely colors: beige, tan, navy, black, red, purple (and every other shade in between!)  
• Then there's the fabrics - leather, vinyl or actual fabric 
• What about the size:  too big, too small, not enough pockets, way too many pockets
• Lastly, the most important part for me is the handle.  Can't be too short, because I dislike carrying a purse in my hands.  I want a shoulder bag.  

Narrowed it down to a lovely light denim printed one, but had to discard that choice because my wallet didn't fit in the purse.  lol   Then I found a navy quilted one, but it was too large, too many pockets.  A lovely lavender one that would fit cross-body, but my Kindle didn't fit.  I ended up with a medium size bag with two pockets, one fits the Kindle, the other my wallet and glasses.  With a couple of fringed tassels on the zipper pulls, I decided on the black one.  Mission Accomplished!

Not a Good Girl!

Did that title grab your attention?  *chuckles*  Well, I'm not a very good girl.  Maybe I should say I'm not a very girly girl.  I'm not much of a shopper.  Going to the mall?  Just isn't my thing to do when there's nothing to do.  Don't get me wrong, when I was in  my 20s .....  once a week wasn't enough!  In fact, for a while, it was our 'thing' to head to the mall for dinner in the food court -- everyone got to pick what they wanted from wherever and momma didn't have to cook 8 different meals!  After eating, we'd wander around, look at things.  But I lost interest in looking at things - maybe because I knew I couldn't afford them.  Or maybe it was because I already had enough things, and didn't need to add any more.  I know, we all need an upgrade now and again.  And yes, I'm pokey on that as well. 

This morning, however, I needed to return a pair of shoes I bought on a catalog order.  I've never had trouble with a pair of New Balance shoes before, but this pair hurt my feet on the very first day.  And at $50, I wasn't willing to "get by" with them til I wore them out.  After doing my return, I wandered into the clothing section -- mostly the clearance section -- and found some work pants (khaki required!) and decided to try them on.  Yep, I'm down two sizes and BOY! was I excited!  hahaha.  Granted, when you purchase things from a real "label" they tend to fit better than some of the other, uh, walmart type clothing.  So, 2 pair of khakis and a new pair of jeans... Yay!  

Then I headed down to the shoes ... and found a pair of New Balance that felt better, so I'm trying them.  They'll be work shoes.  And found another pair of very lightweight running shoes.... that feel like I'm walking on heaven.  They're Addidas, and I've never been a fan of their shoes before, mostly because they didn't feel as if they fit well.   When you lose weight, do your feet shrink?  I believe they do ;)  Can't wait to get to the gym to try them out!  24-hour fitness in the morning, anyone?  *grin*