She Blogs

She sits down and writes one of her missives, posting it on the internet, for all the world to read.  Most of her postings sound as if her life is full of things going on.  But through her postings, does anyone really know who she is, and what she stands for?  She's not passionate about the left or right side of politics, posting rants about what one side does wrong.  She's not passionate about some brand of religion, and Hollywood gossip doesn't interest her at all.

She goes through her work day performing mundane routine tasks; some days she smiles more than others, but the job she performs doesn't require a lot of smarts, or savvy.  Having a strong visual recall, almost a photographic memory, allows her to do her job well.  But it's not fulfilling.

She oftentimes wonders if her current personal beliefs are in contrast with her job; her mindset is to grow away from consumerism, to learn to get along in other ways than through buying and consuming throw-away things.  She sweeps instead of vacuuming.  She uses old t-shirts and socks to wipe up spills or clean windows, instead of throwing away paper towels.  Storage containers for left over foods are put into glass, not plastic.  Plastic bags and aluminum foil are rare commodities to have, to use, on those occasions when nothing else will do.  Does her non-consumerism conflict with her job in retail?

Her social life is stagnant compared to her peers, most of which are married.  The single ones seem to find their way through parties or the bar scene.  Others center their social life around their religion/church activities.  In the past, she's played all of those parts before.  But they never felt as if they were enough.  Mostly they were ways to pass the time in spurts of pleasant social exchanges.

She knows there should be more to life than the meager existence she's assigned herself.  But unsure of how to make that change, she lives her life through books she reads, and general observances about life as she writes out her latest blog posting, then considers the possibilities that run through her mind.  And rejects each of them with what seem to be good reasons (in her mind) and goes back to pondering her next blog.