FWB's

OK.  Friends with Benefits.  Is there a definition of that?  How does it work?  and with whom??

Urban Dictionary says this:  Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment.

That being said .... here's my story (and I'm sticking to it!)  About six years ago, I found and met up with a man from the internet.  As is always the case with me, we met in daylight, in a public place.  Sorry guys, that's my rules.   We met in a park, took a walk around the park, and attempted to get to know each other.  He'd been in the service, he was recently divorced, and he wasn't looking for any kind of commitment.  I'm sure his thoughts were along the lines that now he was free, he was gonna play the field!

For me, that just doesn't work.  I'm not wired that way, have never been wired that way, and when I tried it a few years back ..... nope, nu uh, I felt cheap and used.  But that's my own issue in my own head, I'm sure.
So, about two years ago, I got a text from this guy.... "Looking for FWB yet?"  Made me chuckle, but I sent back "sorry ..... no".   On Monday, another two years down the road, I got another text ... "Hello Linda.  Your name is in my phone ... have we met?"  First off,  I must not have made much of an impression that he doesn't remember me.  However, it must have been enough of one to keep my number in his phone all this time!!  hah hah   We sent texts back and forth, a little flirting before the big question:  "Looking for FWB?"

I understand now why we never hooked up in the past.  You can't be Friends with Benefits if you're not friends first.  Why do men assume they get the "benefits" without taking time to become friends????

Found this, it summed it up for me.
Gotta be some sort of feelings there first.
I'm not looking for marriage, or forever after,
but there's gotta be some kind of substance.
Who's with me on that???