Working at Patience

Every day is a constant amazement, but not in the way you might think.  For me, I seem to have lost most of my patience.  Does stress do that?  I'm not sure there's any science to back me up, but it certainly is messing with my patience level.   I know in my mind that I need to reduce my stress with deep breathing or exercise - or both! - but I just don't see to be able to get off my duff and do them.  Maybe that has to do with the number of things that I feel need to be done.  Or maybe I'm back at work too soon.  I've scheduled a few days off in the coming weeks, because I feel like I need some space from work.  But if I take too many days off in a row, there's a mess of stuff that needs doing when I get back and there's no relief from co-workers. 

It's been amazing to me that life events can have such an effect on a person.  My mind blanks out at odd moments.  I find writing things down helps keep me a little more focused.  I've never needed help with that before, but now ..... I do.  Much more than what I would call the normal aging process.   We all joke about walking into a room and forgetting what we're there for.  For me, it's like someone slams a door and boom, no idea! 

Yesterday in the dealership waiting room, a little old lady was talking loudly on her phone.  Bless her, she probably had hearing issues, but it bothered me.  Today, another one is on the phone while I'm trying to have a quiet lunch in McD's. 

Where has my patience gone???

Because there are so many things going on right now, I'm going to make some changes:  With my extra days off coming up, a little more walking each morning -- because the evenings are too hot right now! I'm going to keep a list of the little things that need to be worked on, and do just a piece of it each day.  Even if you do only one portion of it, within days it could be completed!  I scheduled an appointment with my doc to see if everything is OK, then to see if there's something that will help me sleep better at night.  If my body and mind get a good rest, will the rest of the things fall in and become better as well?  I'm hoping!

It's hard to believe that someone so in control of everything (yes, ME!) can so completely become at loose ends in everything else!  I keep working my Sodoku puzzles every day so that my mind stays functioning.  I'm reading stories (sometimes just to escape) and handbooks about dealing with loss to help keep my emotions on level ground. 

It's hard work!

As I think about it all, I believe that handling stress in one or two areas of your life is easier if there is a portion of your life where you aren't handling stress.  Right now, everything seems stressful; work was sometimes an escape for me, I can lose myself in getting my job done.  Most of the time.  But lately, I seem to be rubbed the wrong way by my coworker and it's making my work situation quite stressful. 

Sometimes I just want the rollercoaster to stop so I can .... take a break! 
But where would that break come from?   At home, there's too many reminders, and things needing to be taken care of.  At work .. well, that's not a good break!  haha  So I guess I'll just have to find it elsewhere, in between one and the other, find a little space for me. 

Patience. Consistency. Hard Work.
That's life!