No Decisions, For Now

With everything that has happened in the past couple of months, I keep having this feeling like I'm ... forgetting something.  Or that another shoe is going to drop?   Or maybe it's just the odd sensation of feeling as if I'm suspended between two worlds.  In one, I want to preserve all I have, all I can of my son.  In the opposite spectrum, I don't want my daughter to have to go through all of this so I feel like I should be heading toward minimalism, and getting rid of stuff. 

I've already done plenty of that, but I could do better. 
A little bit at a time, I suppose. 

This upcoming weekend, I will have both days off and I'm looking forward to it!

I also need to work on getting Sadie better at traveling in the car, so we can go places.

It's a weird little world I live in right now, and I'm trying to take it slow, but in many ways I'm becoming impatient.  I am pondering staying in my home vs moving closer to my daughter vs moving in with my mother. 

I go back and forth with each of them, for various reasons.  I would hate living back in Calif; I dislike the traffic and so many people.  Everywhere.  All the time.  But being there for Mom would be SO important.    I was never fond of Tucson as a town, and being closer would mean being involved in their lives - a good thing - until you toss my ex in the mix.  Sure, we can be civil, but I don't want to spend my social time with him.  Then there's staying in my home.  The one I bought on my own.  It's perfect in size, and the location is pretty good too.  But no family lives close. 



I bought the house with Brian in mind.  Because of his visual problems, he needed to be in a home that was close to some major bus lines.  And of course, he needed his own garage!  While the bedrooms are smallish, it's not a bad size.  And would have been perfect for him in the later years ......

But none of those plans worked out. 
For now, no decisions.