Relationships aren't easy

Here I am, over 50 and single.  And I've been thinking lately about men, relationships and what, if anything, I'm looking for.  And that's not easy!  You can't define a person, put them in a box, and expect them to be that person always.  But you should always be aware of the traits that are necessary in another person for you (such as honesty) and the ones that are deal breakers (like smoking).   And once you know a few of them, don't waste time on those who don't fit within your basics -- because you can't change a person!

Why all the thoughts?  Well, a lot of reasons.  First, my son is convinced he's in love and moving out of my house and in with a woman.  And being a mom, we always worry about our kids and want them to be happy.   I'm not confident this will be a good thing, but it will be a life lesson for him either way.  We were out grocery shopping, and doing some price comparisons (because living on your own means shopping wisely with your limited money!) and he commented about how hard it is.  And he just doesn't seem happy or excited about the prospect of moving.  Me, when I got it in my head to move, was always packing early, being prepared, but he's not doing any of that.  hehehe We shall see.


Then when I talked with Mom on Thursday, the news she gave me was my sister, who's a month away from her 25th wedding anniv is separated from her hubby and they're gonna do the big "D".  Always a hard thing after so many years, but as I told mom, everyone deserves to be happy.

The last reason has to do with someone who asked me if they had a chance at having a real date with them.  The problem is he's as young as my kids.  And so far, finding topics of common interest hasn't been easy.  I know relationships take work, but conversation shouldn't always be an effort.  So I'm supposing since companionship and convos are two of my 'key elements' I guess I'd have to say no.  

I'm chuckling, because on the dating front, when my daughter was here, we were joking about getting married and such and she was adamant ... "No waaay are you ever getting married again, Mom!"  I was shocked that she was emphatic about it, but had to agree with her -- I don't see myself as getting married again.  (We all know that can change if the right person comes into our life!) 

Here's a thought I found about relationships, with some humor :

“Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”   --Andy Rooney

Single Bells

The one thing I hate about spending a holiday alone.....  is the day after at work 

when everyone asks all those "How was your holiday" questions.

How do you answer without sounding pathetic?  without arousing sympathy or pity?

Most of the time,  I do my best to avoid entering into the topic at all.

When it happens, I reply, "Great!" and turn the question on them,

hoping they're the kind who want to ebulliently expound on their day! 

Most times, it works.  For those who continue to ask details about 

my own day, I just say "the usual family activities..." and let it fall off.

The No.12 Rule of a Lady

Being single doesn't mean you're weak, 

it means you're strong enough to wait 

for what you really deserve.

Now Playing:  Luke Bryan's "Drunk on You" - and high on summertime.  Brings back thoughts of hot summer nights.  It's been chilly here in the Valley of the Desert.  Another 30 days or so and spring will be here - can't wait to watch the cactus burst into blooms.  Feb, March, April are most beautiful here!

A few good things...

Ahhh, the benefits of being over 50, single and happy.  Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about relationships, or lack of them, as I get older.  I've been married three times, and after all that, I feel I know quite a bit about myself, and what I like and don't like in a partner.  Living on my own for eight years now, I think I've become accustomed to having my own way!   So I've listed a few good things about being over 50 and single..... 

Know who you are, spend time rediscovering what makes you tick - from the food you like best to the places you enjoy visiting.

Lose the anger over the past:  Forgive, forget and move on.

If you go full tilt at life and take every opportunity it throws at you, you'll never feel sad or alone.

You'll enjoy life more if you're in good health.  Exercise keeps you looking good and releases mood-boosting endorphins so you feel good too.  I try for an hour a day.

Fill your life with things that make you happy and people you love. The key is to get out of the mindset that you need a man to complete you!

Less housework - Even today, most men expect a certain amount of looking after, whether that means cooking, cleaning after them or washing their clothes.

No squabbles about sex - Sex can often be a bone of contention in marriages, as few couple agree on how much sex they want, so one partner always has too much or too little and can end up being resentful.

No need to compromise - Just think, you can always have the food you like, watch the TV shows you prefer and sleep on the side of the bed you want to be on!

Society used to have different ideals about single women; I can remember growing up people talking about spinsters and old maids.... now its just a card game! ... and we can be free to choose how we want to live.  So go out there and make it a good one!