Weigh In Weds (and Bent)

Yes, its that day again -- Weigh in Weds.  All week I've been kind of dreading this day.  I haven't been "on my game" as I usually am, and didn't think my numbers would be there... but they were *really big smile*  Since I started on this journey, I have lost 41 lbs.  It has taken me 13 months.  But I broke that magical 40 lb marker and whew, that was work. I think its been harder to lose these last 10 lbs than it was the first 30.


I was a little perturbed on Monday after talking with my trainer.  Russell wanted me to train with Alan on Monday -- and I did.  Was I happy???  No.  I was upset.  I signed on for more sessions because I wanted to see results.  And for me, consistency = results.  Switching trainers midstream seemed counterproductive to me.  But.  I trained with Alan again today, and it went pretty well (Monday did too, but I couldn't see past my "mad" to realize it.) 

I'm a loner, and I'm ok with that.  But that part of me makes it difficult to accept a change, but I am going to turn it into a positive thing - because I need to change my ways and be a little more social, get out of my shell more often.  And I'm thinking about Alan's way of training, and maybe that's a good thing for me.  He's more into the focus of core and making each move count.  He also knows a lot of yoga moves, and those are sometimes incorporated into the workout.  After today's session, I even braved the elliptical for another half mile before leaving the gym :)

Within all this little bit of turmoil for me, it brought it home to me even more that I truly am a loner.  I've sort of dug that little niche for myself, and that's OK.  Most of the time.  But when I need support, an ear, some venting -- there isn't anyone in my life I can count on in a real way. Sure, I have friendly acquaintances and a gal pal I hang with at work for breaks and lunches.  But I'm always 'the strong one' - the one people come to for an ear or advice. 

But I liked a song I heard on the way home by P!nk ...
I'm not broken, just bent. 
(It's from her song Give Me a Reason) 
And its true. 
I'm not broken, maybe just a little bent. 

Things always get better. 
Always.
If you're willing to work at it.