Destiny

This world we live in is so much bigger than you and I.  That was my thought as I woke up this morning. I've been trying to find ways to make that statement be something that I can understand more fully.

One way is to gaze at the stars. How can all of that compare to the smaller things we surround ourselves with? 

Think about a seed, an acorn if you will.  From that small seed grows a mighty oak tree.  The seed is planted, roots begin to grow then a shoot, a small stalk and each day it multiplies and grows into what it was destined to be.

If that's how God planned His world, what does that mean for His people? We start out small, and we grow; as kids we learn lessons, as adults we become functioning parts of a larger concept. But is that all? 

What are we destined to be? 

When I caved and married per mom's wishes, I accepted living my life as is. I accepted it as part of my destiny when my kids were born. One hearing impaired, the other visually impaired. . I figured God needed someone to be responsible and it was my destiny. I embraced it.

But raising kids isn't a daily endeavor for long. They become adults and move on to their own destinies.  

But our lives are full of seasons that change. And I guess caring for mom is my next season.  I'm not sure "embracing it" is an apt description.  

With our completely different beliefs in everything from politics to religion to daily living, it creates a huge internal struggle for me.  When I visit her, I can't allow myself to get pulled into her tricks and games.  Sometimes I don't think she is aware of them at all, its just how she has always been. 

Its my job to see that she's being taken care of. Its not my job to cater to her every wish amd whim or carry her emotional woes. And its a very fine line to walk. She's my mother.