Just another day of dealing with crazy stuff. A visit to Mom's is always a bit crazy. I'm learning to deal with what I call her "tricks". She asks what I've been doing, but also immediately interrupts to blurt her own litany of physical ailments. She winds down but can't sit in the silence, then asks "what's up?" And if I try to answer she gets a second wind and she runs down the craft she did last week, her conversation with my brother .... you get the idea.
She wants to watch a tv show, but while it plays you know her mind isn’t on it, because she blurts out a question: "what time are they giving shots?" All things I considered as her quirks, but they're not just quirks.
Which leaves me wondering why I come and sit here watching what I've already seen?
We've had a tumultous relationship, always. She doesn't deal well with emotions or feelings - hers or anyone else's. And I'm growing through that; it hit me hard when I finally had to face up to the knowledge that she wasn't the mother I needed when I was a child, and that she never would be the mom I need now, either.
And even though I am getting through all this, I am scared about recovering from caregiver burnout. The stats are staggering!!
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