A Line in the Sand

Here's something that comes up often - probably for most people.  And I'm having a toss-up with myself over it:  I'm the supervisor at work. And I had one of the women I supervise call me at home because she "needed to talk".   In the voicemail left, it was clearly not about a work issue, and it was something she said she didn't want to bring up at work. 

I didn't call her back.

And I'm going back and forth with whether I should?  or shouldn't? 

I don't want to be the "girlfriend" who's holding someone's hand over every little crisis.  Don't get me wrong, I'll be there, I'll be supportive, if there's a bigger issue at hand than, say, trouble with grown children, or grandchildren, who aren't "behaving". 

Where do you draw the line?

I know that I don't want to be the kind of supervisor who is seen as "playing favorites" with anyone.  I also don't want to be the one who is so "supervisory" that I seem unapproachable - which is a challenge for me because I'm very focused on my work in the workplace, with very little on the social side of working.  I take my lunches away from the break room so that others don't feel like they need to "censor" their behavior or comments for this reason as well.

Which brings me back around to my original question: 
Should I have called her back to be her shoulder to cry on?

My instinct in the moment was "no",
and I think that's going to be my line in the sand. 

It's one thing to allow it when it relates to work issues,
or major life changes, but I'm not up to being that shoulder
when someone around her has issues.
No matter how much I like her.

The Bottom Line

I want to be important to someone.

I want to know that I matter.

That's always been the bottom line.

I thought I'd found that.

"Frog, you gonna be all right?"

"Yeah.  I'm always all right."

~Smokey and the Bandit

I've always called myself a survivor.  I've always been able to "pull myself up by the bootstraps" and do whatever needed to be done.  But I had young kids depending on me int he past; I needed to do what was right, in order to do what's best for them.  Somehow, it feels different this time being a "survivor".  Because I don't have to be.  I can allow myself the freedom to do nothing, to wallow if I choose.  I'm not that type, usually, but I could be.  

"How about you, are you all right?"

"Oh, I'm always all right."

"Is 'All right' special time-lord code for... 
not really all right at all?"

 "Why?"

"Because I'm all right too. " 

 ~Dr Who

Some folks who know me, have told me that I'm a strong person, that I have confidence.  And I beg to differ.  Maybe they say that because they see me taking action.  For a long time, I've lived my life with the credo that sometimes its better to make a decision and act on it, even if its the wrong decision, rather than do nothing and wish later that you had.  That being said, I'm also a firm believer when it comes to making decisions that you weigh it all out before deciding. And if you haven't decided by the end of the day, sleep on it one night; the answer may come to you by morning.  Maybe even in a dream. 

 A strong woman knows how 
to keep her life in line. 
With tears in her eyes, 
she still manages to say, 
“Nah, I’m fine.”

I've made my share of mistakes along the road of life.  The worst ones having to do with relationships.  Perhaps that's because relationships are based on emotion and not upon facts.  And yet, all things considered, would I do it differently?  Even in bad situations, there are good aspects, good moments, to keep in your memory bank.  Even if you loved them wholly, and they didn't love you back in the same way.

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be all right

~Keith Urban, You'll Think of Me