Trust me

The loss of trust is a very painful experience.  It often involves a lot of hurt, confusion, anger, and sadness. When that happens -- what's next???   

Rebuilding trust in a relationship is a very difficult thing to do. It is an uphill battle that is worth fighting only if a relationship is worth saving ... 

The ultimate question to ask yourself is:  Do you still want to be friends with that someone who lied?   What needs to be considered?

Of course, doing a Google search brings up SO many situations about teens, kids, and that sort of thing.  Other websites offer advice for spouses, etc, but nothing quite fit my own situation.  So I'll take bits from here or there to echo some of my own thoughts on the matter.

You need to decide if the relationship is worth the effort to continue.  When starting over, you must build up the trust again.  Otherwise you're left with options such as being friendly acquaintances, or worse, you hold a grudge and never speak to a person again.

Confusing?? I found this little metaphor:

'A good friend is like a rough diamond. Once polished and nurtured, it becomes the brilliance of your life. Beautiful diamonds also have edges that can sometimes hurt. You can either tolerate the slight discomfort for its brilliance or you can move over to polishing another one, or not having one at all.'

So where is this all headed ?  I've been doing a lot of thinking about things.  I have been unhappy over the years; the one thing that has made me happy is my friendship with him.  He has been my best friend, my confidante.  But he covered up the truth.  Does that warrant ending a many years long friendship?  Or is it worth working on and keeping?

The two things that hold me back ...

what else don't I know? 

and how do I know the truth when something's said now?

Research shows that rebuilding trust means making a promise and holding to it.  But I think my bottom line is this:  Tell me, trust me with the truth.  I'm the one who gets to decide, once I know what the truth is, on what level I want to continue this friendship.