What's left?

I tried and tried to write something to him, but what is left to say? I hardly know what to say, what to talk about when I chat with him; I don't dare ask questions.  why?  because the answer might bring up things in my imagination that I don't want to think about.  I've tried to let myself believe; I've tried to tell myself that it doesn't matter, it doesn't hurt anyone.  But it does.  It hurts me.

There's a life I can't ask him to leave.  I'll never get over him.  I don't mind that part.  But trying to chat and keep what we had doesn't work.  Things are different, we're both different.

Even now I don't know what needs to be said,
or what I want to say.
The thought of my life without him is devastating.
But I don't really have him, I never did.

For all I know, I've been replaced already.

Good times, good memories.
I'm thankful for them.