Numbered Days

Every day there seems to be something in the news about my BigBoxStore.  And lately, it's never been good news.  There's another part of the company being "out sourced" - which means more of the staff being laid off.  I just sit here shaking my head, wondering when it will slow down - or stop, even!  But it won't, and I don't really get it.  I feel bad for this sector of our company who will be losing their positions.  And I feel like mine isn't too far behind.

Two weeks from now, my schedule has changed. After more than 10 years of being a M-F gal, I now have Saturdays and Wednesdays off.  Plus my shifts have been shortened by an hour, which means 10 hours less pay each pay period.  That's a significant amount!!  Then there's the worry about having short shifts, will I still carry my "full time" standing so that I don't lose my health insurance?

I can remember being unhappy at one of my first jobs and thinking "wow, I really need to start looking into working for one of these Fortune 500 companies".   And now that I'm older, I take it BACK!  It's not what it's cracked up to be!  Companies become so overblown that employees are just a body with a number attached.  What makes me even madder, however, is when I started it was all talk about "growing your career" with the company, building yourself a good future.  And now?  Because of the length of time I've invested with them, my wages are considered "too high" and they can pull just any body off the street to do my job.   And that's pretty much what's been happening.

My daily tasks are being reallocated to other positions within the store, and soon, my job will be gone.  Oh sure, they'll incorporate or morph it into being some kind of "team lead", and I'll have to re-apply for the position --- if I even want it.  When I think of all the things I've been doing -- tasks that aren't mine but I do them because it helps the success of my store -- frankly, I just want to shut down and say "Nope! No More!  Go find out how to do it yourself."   And I should be that way more often than not.   But it goes against my grain, my way of doing things and helping others succeed.

Like today, I was scheduled the day off, but because of another scheduling conflict, I volunteered to work today so that the rest of the week would be cohesive for the others on "my team".  Also, the tasks that are being reallocated to others in the store, they can't seem to get it together and actually DO them and keep bringing them back to my work area to be processed.  Today, I had a full shopping buggy of things that others were supposed to do and hadn't done.  So I did them, because it was in the overall greater good for my store.  What I should have done was take it back to the people who are now responsible for these tasks.  But when it comes to the greater good for ME? 
Ha! I won't hold my breath, because it won't be there.





This keeps popping up in my feeds,
or maybe it's on my mind and I notice it more,
but it's SO true. 

And I need to pay attention.

Ode to a Bath and Other Wonders (2008)

Ode to a Bath - January 28, 2008

Oh, the wonders these days! With the quick flick of a wrist, you too can have a waterfall of delight gushing into your bathtub!!! Baths used to be for the privileged, a royal beauty treatment. But these days, it seems the thrill is gone from this pampering routine. Sadly, a woman who returns home after a harrowing day and longs for a bath, steps into her bathroom. First, when she looks around, the counters are covered in half empty bottles and containers of this and that. 

Sighing, she grabs a magazine to enjoy as she slips herself into the warm water. Flipping the pages of her magazine, she comes across an article on "Turning your Bath into your Private Oasis". She reads over the glossy pages full of ideas that are much too costly for her modest income. And rather than feeling better after a relaxing bath, she's now angry and perplexed, full of thoughts ..... "Why can't my life be that way?" The subliminal message of the magazine that tells her she needs ALL THIS to take care of herself, she then finds she can't afford the very things she supposedly needs.

But ... don't let this happen ! You too can restore yourself through the sense of touch, in your own bath. Its time to simplify things and get back to basics. Clean off the countertop that's overflowing with things you don't use regularly. Fill the bathtub with hot water, and dim the lights. Light a few candles. A book I was reading lately suggested a cup of ricewine in the water (to eliminate toxins). Break apart three tangerines and place segments along with the peels into some gauze or cheesecloth, and let soak in the water with you. (Use caution if your skin is sensitive to alcohol or citrus). You could even prepare some herbal tangerine spice tea to sip as you soak. Let this be a delicious, sensual time of centering, soothing and recovering a sense of well being.

In the words of the famous beauty company: Because you're worth it!!

and on that note.... I'm off to enjoy my bath!!

6:42 PM

A Woman’s Health - Jan 29, 2008

Current mood:relieved
Today was THE day -- yes, the day we women dread ... the annual pap smear and general checkup appointment.  If you let yourself think about it , it's a rather humbling and degrading procedure that we endure in order for us to keep up with our health.  A necessary evil, you might say!   So there you are, in all your vulnerable glory --- undressed, wearing a gown that's quite wide open in places you'd rather it not be, sitting on a cold paper covered table, a paper napkin the size of Delaware on your lap.  If you're like me, you leave your socks ON, because for some reason, you feel warmer that way.  Don't ask my why, it just does!

Gals, I've had my share of these checkups, and with two pregnancies, and a few female problems, more than my share of  checkups (you probably DON'T want details!! haha)  There's nothing more special than checkups because you're pregnant, but once you pass that phase of your life, they lose their "specialness".   I've had my share of different doctor-types.  I was a patient for about six months at a teaching hospital.  Nothing like being examined by a doctor, then having said Doc ask "Would it be ok if my students checked this too?"   (Ohhhh boy, three more sets of slimy fingers...... ~~~find that happy place and fast~~~!!)  I've had a Doc that I nicknamed BIG-John -- he had hands the size of some 7-foot basketball players. Yikes!!   And I've had little Asian doctors, with tiny fingers.  I've had women, young and old.  And I can say one thing.... if you're going to a doc who doesn't make you truly comfortable -- find another!! and quick!!!  No reason to make an uncomfortable thing that much worse.  Your doctor should take the time to talk to you, explain things you might not understand, and ask general questions in a way that doesn't make you feel "funny" answering.  If that's the case, a new doctor is in order.

I found a wonderful doctor here.  I drive 25 miles out of my way to see this guy when I need to; and while I still dread the actual ordeal, I know that I'll be comfortable enough to answer honestly, with details.   And by the way, my "happy place" today was inspired by a picture on the office wall .... a mother and her daughters wearing dresses and pinafores, barefoot, their toes dipping playfully into the cool water... :)

I know you don't want to be reminded but... Is it time for YOUR annual checkup?? If so, make that appointment today!!!   And if you're approaching 40, ask for your baseline mammogram too !

Hey guys..... don't forget, as you age, its important to get an annual prostate exam! (yeah, like you wanted to be reminded of that, huh?)
2:10 PM

Being Better

When you are struggling 

just look ahead and hold your head up high 

it's not a race to compete with others 

it's a race to compete with yourself!! 

You got this!!!"

If you have ever struggled with weight loss,

or keeping your commitment to the gym,

just remember that the only person

you need to do better than

is yourself.

After yesterday's disappointing weigh in

(yes, expected, but it still 'hurts' ) 

I got myself busy in the gym.

I did elliptical for 20 minutes on lunch

then went back after work 

for another 20 on the treadmill

and a whole lotta arms work.

I just need to remember that I'm 

not competing against any one else,

I cannot expect to be like

"the skinny hot one" at the gym.

I can only do better today

than I did yesterday.

Be a Happy Gym Rat! 

This little sign made me chuckle....

"At the Gym!"

Ready, Set, GO!

Love Yourself

Keep the Music Playing?

Robert Browning writes: Who hears music, feels his solitude peopled at once.

Listening to your favorite music is an easy way to carve out a private interlude. Music is one of the most sensuous ways in which Life flirts with us. Enjoying music that makes us feel good, or feel better, is an important way to pamper ourselves. How easy it is at the end of the day to think "I've had enough people, enough noise, I just want quiet." But what are you missing? Have you taken the time to actually revel in this sensory pleasure?

I was reading about a woman who was alone again in her life. And she began sorting out all the 'love songs' in her collection, since there was no one to share those with anymore. And she asked herself why? Those are all tunes she loves to listen to; not allowing herself to hear them because there was no one to share them with wasn't an acceptable reason to weed them out of her collection.

It's funny, when we're in love and we hear the word ~you~ in the chorus, we immediately associate the song with that person. On the other hand, its hard to hear those songs and not feel the emptiness of not having someone in our life. But maybe the answer is a little more simple than that. Try thinking of the song as Life serenading it to YOU! Take some time today to indulge, to love yourself, with some of your favorite tunes; feel the power music has over us, let it take you to places you haven't been in a while.

For me, music has always been a powerful part of my life. I'm been collecting CD's for years, and have a strangely eclectic collection. A friend of mine started an internet radio station, and invited me to try DJ'ing (here) and I found out [after the trial and error period], that I really enjoy it! If you have some free time, pop in and give a listen (Thanks, David!)

Musical HUGS to everyone!