Love at First Sight

Do you believe in love at first sight?  I'd like to believe, but its more like lust at first sight.  When you're meeting a new person, are you instantly attracted to something in partucular?  I tend to notice eyes and hands.

There would probably be all kinds of opinions on Google or in magazines. But does their opinion mean more than our own?  

My first real crush at first sight was when I was 8. Mikey lived next door.  We became fast friends and he was my first kiss behind the pine tree in our backyard! 

After that, I had a few crushes along the way, but I was a chubby nerd who loved reading and being alone.  I married three times, each time I was convinced it was love, sometimes love at first sight. But looking back, I'm not sure I knew what real love looked like. And I'm still not sure.

Love and lust are sometimes mistaken. I have learned over time that it isn't about looks, and it isn't easy to truly love someone. That usually comes from time spent exchanging ideas through conversation and having similar goals for a good life. 

Not including marriages, I fell in love two other times.  Both were built on many conversations, and wanting the same things in life.  

One happened a few months before I was first married. He was older than me, but that didn't matter.  Our history .... well let's just say that I hoped he would be the knight in shining armor who would rescue me.  I realized later in life that we each need to rescue ourselves.

The second was instant friendship and nearly love at first sight. We had so much in common, but our life paths seemed impossible to change at the time and we drifted apart.

Love is a many splendored thing.  That was a catch phrase in the late 60s, but love is definitely hard to define. It is different for each of us. 

I hope you find yours!

Goals and Happiness

 Memorial Day is set aside for us to remember those who served, who fought for our freedoms, who fought to keep us safe, and for those who still fight for those same things. 

But there are also other things to remember as well.  For me, as I get older, I tend to spend time reminiscing about the things that brought me happiness through the years.  My granddaughter's graduation reminded me of my own, of all the hopes and dreams a young person of 18 has for their adult life.  

As you look back, do you feel you accomplished all you dreamed of??  I know that my own aspirations were loftier than what has been the reality.  But that hasn't made me any less happy.  Life will always be full of challenges and changes.  It's how we react to those things that makes us who we are, and ultimately brings us the happiness we seek.  

I've met people who have happiness as an end goal:  as soon as I get this job, I'll be happy.  As soon as I get married or have a family, I'll be happy.  As soon as I'm out of debt, I'll be happy.  The 'trick' to finding that happiness doesn't come when we reach a goal.  It's the little things in our daily lives.  They happen every day, and you must pay attention to those little things to experience that happiness.  

Yesterday on the way to work, I saw an old GMC pickup from the 30's or 40's; the paint was a bit rusty, it wasn't all decked out to look new. It showed it's age and it brought a huge smile to my face.  (I enjoy looking at old cars!)  Two days ago, on my drive home from work, I saw a man riding a horse down the street (on the sidewalk) and that made me smile as well.  If I had been concentrating on my job goals, or my life goals, I might have missed those little moments of joy.  Don't let the big things get in the way of little moments of happiness!

                                                 

Keep It Simple

The Holi-daze has ended, and things are getting back to "normal" - whatever that is.  A New Year is full of new promises, a time for making resolutions - promises to ourselves for a start to a better new year.  Do you tend to keep your resolutions?  In the past, I found that I didn't keep mine because I made them too lofty, too unattainable.  I mean, lets be real, "Lose 50 pounds" isn't a very practical resolution, because at a safe loss of 1-2 lbs per week, it would take months to actually achieve!  And maybe we are more successful if we make smaller goals that when we actually accomplish, we feel that much better about ourselves, and even more inspired to try for more!

Yes, I want to lose weight this new year, but I also want to find a way to be a happier person, finding time -- scratch that, making time -- for the creative side of me.  So my two concrete resolutions are simple ones:  Take more pix/be creative, and smile more.  :)   Giving someone else a smile, if they give one back, perhaps it's a connection to the inner soul for a more peaceful me.

Sounds a little simplistic,

but with everything that's going on with family,

and my own feelings as I grow older,

simple is the order of the day.

Happy New Year!

Here we are, a brand new year!

and for me and my family,
we're hoping this will be
a much better year!

Not that wishing will change
anything that's already been,
but we can hope for health and
happiness in the new year!


That being said, are you making any resolutions for this year?
I know, we all make them, and break them, before January turns
to February -- the news blurbs are full of jokes about this!

I noticed someone made a resolution to not make any resolutions!
For me, the usual "eat healthy, exercise regularly" comes up, but
that's so generic.  Necessary, but generic.

I read the following quote today, and thought making this
be my new year's resolution would be a good idea:

Try to learn to breathe deeply,

to really taste food when you eat

and when you sleep, really to sleep.

Try as much as possible

to be wholly alive with all your might,

and when you laugh, 

laugh like hell.  

And when you get angry,

get good and angry.

Try to be alive!

You will be dead soon enough.

-Ernest Hemingway

Be present in every possible moment
in this brand new year - its a chance to
make a personal change in yourself,
which ultimately creates changes in
those around you.

Happy New Year!  to each and every one of you!
May this be a blessed year for all of us :)

Real Life

Alfred D'Souza: 
"For a long time it had seemed to me
that life was about to begin -- real life. 
But there was always
some obstacle in the way,
something to be got through first,
some unfinished business,
time still to be served,
a debt to be paid.
Then life would begin. 
At last it dawned on me
that these obstacles were my life."



How often do we assume that once we get past this, over that, put something behind us, that our real life, the life we wish for, can begin?   When in fact, we're living our real life right at this moment.  Every minute of every day is a slice of time we will never get back.  Are you living life to the fullest?  the life you want to live?

I'm full of these kinds of thoughts lately, because my dad has cancer, stage iv, metastatic, but he's trying to have some chemo, it will extend his life.  Some.  IF it works.  But the whole quality over quantity comes to mind when I think of cancer and what chemo does.  Its all about weighing odds.  Taking chances.

But the bottom line is living life! 

I wonder at times if there isn't something he wants to do, some place or some people he wants to see.  He would never EVER ask -- he wouldn't ever want to put anyone to any trouble.  But that's not the point; people would gladly put aside their own for the time being.   Ahhh.  I'm babbling on about something that I can't change.  But I can contemplate my own demise and make sure that I'm living the life I'm meant to live.

So many people say they'll follow their bliss, live their dream after ......  well, after whatever obstacle seems to be in their way.  I keep asking why?  Why are you waiting?  What is so tough about that obstacle you see as a huge boulder, and only seems like a small stick to someone else?

We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

Don't let obstacles stand in your way of really living life.
Most of the time, what you see as obstacles are imaginary.
True, making changes often changes other things around you.
But everyone deserves to be happy, to have opportunities,
to create a life of their own choosing.
Do what makes you happy.
Do it now.
You don't have forever.
Live life.

Got Zen?

After working in the yard earlier today, I played with my sticks.  That sounds rather amusing, but ... I have a collection of sticks, mostly they came from trees in the yard, branches that have fallen or been cut down, and After a while, I couldn't decide how to store these sticks, so I started arranging them against one of my walls.  And thus grew a tradition of sorts.  Every time I arrange them, they turn out different.  And stacking them precisely so they won't fall down, creating a pattern, all appeals to my sense of order, and adds a little artsy-ness to my yard as well!  
 
Do you have something that's "Zen" for you?  Everyone needs to find their Zen. But what does that mean?  Zen, like Tao, cannot be totally explained in words. Much of your grasp of Zen must necessarily depend on your own intuition.  Everyone has a personal meaning of Zen for them, but overall it means peace, meditation, calmness. We are conditioned to stressing and foreboding and worrying, it's human nature. It's difficult for us as humans, to focus on the moment and find peace or even want it, but we do however, need peace in our lives. It's essential for over all good health, both  mentally and physically.

I found some short instructions for finding your Zen:

Find a quiet place for 10 minutes and breathe deep.  Focus on the moment, and stop worrying.  It's only for 10 minutes!

Take time for yourself.  A mental health day, half day, or even an hour or two is very important to your health -- and you're worth it!

Remind yourself through peace you gain strength.  When you are not calm or peaceful, you can not be productive or maintain energy if you are constantly worrying or stressing. Without peace, there is no calm.  Peace is never weak, beneath its serenity lies a magnitude of strength.

Accept yourself.  Be at peace with who you are.  Stop trying to impress or become someone else.  You have to live up to your own expectations, not anyone else's.

Surround yourself with nature; get out into a park, a place to walk, even your own backyard, and be nurtured by all teh natural beauty in this world.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.  Do not keep company with people who discourage you or make you feel down or bad about yourself.  People who judge and criticize you tend to drain you.  These people have a tendency, if they constantly judge you or project your their issues on you,  to suck your energy and leave you feeling lethargic and ill.

Walk light.  Let things go.  When we are angry, upset and hurt, we tend to hold onto it.  We get insulted, we get resentful, our ego will not allow us to let things go, we stay angry.  When you hold on to these negative feelings, you allow for toxins to build within your body.  Letting things go means you are at peace.  So walk with a light step and a lighter heart.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!  

I told myself I wouldn't blog today - why?  Because I didn't want anyone knowing, to feel sorry for me - that the "poor single gal" - sitting at my computer, when I should be doing "something else".  But I don't write this because I want anyone's pity, no one needs to feel sorry for me.  

As a divorced single parent, I learned long ago that a holiday doesn't have to be spent on the exact holiday.  For many years, when my kids visited their dad for Christmas, I would hold the celebrations until they returned.  Often times, we did Christmas and New Year's together.  Sure, it made for a crowded day, but that's ok, we made it the best we could, we made it through.

Back when I was a church goer, there would usually be someone who wanted to do something for the singles, having a get together for those who had no where else to go.  It was usually a pretty good time.  But in the bigger picture, single folks who aren't with family today, are home. alone. 

So how does a single person turn that around?  How do you get up and do things that are not "conventional" in the eyes of a world who are coupled up?  I feel very lucky to have Sadie, my pug, this year .....   a built in excuse to be out walking in the park, around the block, or anywhere else.  But you don't have to have a dog to do that.  Take a walk, get out and enjoy nature -- use the excuse that you're walking off a big dinner if you feel the need! 

I've been up for a long time now; since I worked yesterday, and will work tomorrow, sleeping in today wasn't an option.  So I light some scented candles, and vacuumed, dusted and shark'd the living room while The Blind Side plays on DVD.  I'll head out with Sadie after the sun warms the desert, maybe head to my mountain or the park for a walk, take some pictures along the way.  

Take some time for reflection today; remember how blessed each of us are.  Don't fall into the trappings of the media with their preformed ideas of how your "day" is supposed to be.  Make it your own, no matter you situation.  Here's a big HUG from me to you! :)

Stones of Happiness

Totally not feeling much like my self today.  I am attributing it to a lack of sleep, too much work, and not enough pleasures.  At my BigBox store, things have been quite stressful, making work that much harder.  Added in to the mix, its summer, and my helper who does what I do took the weekend off, which means I had to cover his hours.  Today was Day 7 in a row, and I have three more to go before I get any time off.  Sure, I'll make it, I'm a survivor, but to those who have to be around me, my apologies, because I can be rather crabby and short!

I tackle the issues with extra naps after work, which help somewhat, but they don't replace a full night's sleep -- and definitely not the sleeping-in either!  On the other hand, its easier to stick with the diet --- ohh, excuse me -- life changes in regards to my eating patterns.  And of course, being busy and on my feet at work is much better than being sedentary on my weekend.  So a tradeoff, for sure.  Not a very even one, I'm afraid.....  I'd much rather have my weekends!! I think the biggest dislike about the extra work is feeling like I don't have time for myself, no down time, to recuperate from the week, use some creative side of me to do something other than be a BigBox employee.  That's when I start to feel "not myself" ... not only are sleep patterns disrupted, but emotions as well. 
 
When one is tired, over-tired, or overwhelmed with life issues, its so easy to let our thoughts slip into the negative side of things, to make us feel as if we're not worthy, because we aren't keeping up life like "its supposed to be". 

Forget how its supposed to be.  We are worthy! Even when life throws us curves, we keep at it.

I am stealing this picture from a blog I follow at "moon to moon".  How great would it be to find some small smooth stones, pile them into an attractive dish and when we're feeling low, reach for one, pull it out, and remind ourselves that we're good, worthy, loveable human beings just the way we are!

Maybe this is what I'll work on my next day off!