Facebook Advice

Facebook advice for the New Year:

We've all seen them ... cute little sayings that people post on their page.  Today is no exception.  So I wanted to share a few thoughts and ideas with you.

If you're trying to lose weight for your New Year Resolution, try this:  Take a picture of everything you eat, and review at the end of the day.  I bet you'd be surprised.  And ... if you have to take a picture of it, will you think twice before putting it in your mouth????   Now there's food for thought!




When you dine out with friends or colleagues, how many of them check their phones during the course of a meal (and frankly that can feel pretty rude to the rest of the ppl at your table...)  Try this trick!

Yep, phones face down and stacked -- first one to check their phone pays the bill.  Is that sort of like putting your money where your mouth is???












If there's a good woman in your life, and you're taking her for granted... shame on you.










and this is the best advice .....
Its a brand new start tomorrow.
Make it a good one!

Happy New Year!!!

The Note Jar

“How would your life be different if…

You stopped worrying about 

things you can’t control 

and started focusing on the things you can?

 Let today be the day…

You free yourself from fruitless worry, 

seize the day and take effective action 

on things you can change.”

-Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth and Being Free

One of the hardest things to do is to live in the moment, to make sure that today counts for all that it can.  I saw a post on Facebook that seemed a good idea.  Why not start a 'note jar' - and when something good happens, jot a note and the date, drop it in the 'note jar'.  At the end of 2013, pull out your notes and review the good things!  This helps takes the focus the negative, and helps you look at the positive in your life!

Look Forward

Another Sunday and my eyes popped open at 3:40 am, so I got up and went to work.  Good thing, there was plenty to be taken care of!  When Elvis arrived, he said "good thing you came in, I thought we were going to run out of room!"  (Not sure how that'd be possible -- he's have to work at warp speed ... and he doesn't!)  But.  Lots done and out of the way.  The next two weeks will be busy for sure. 

After work, I had to stop and fill up the tank.  With prices dropping, $40 filled 'er up, and I got Bianca  washed as well.  Not sure why I did that, rain is predicted for today!  Of course we all know that if I didn't get it washed, it wouldn't rain, and if I did... of course it will, right?   hahaha  Murphy gets ya every time :)

After that, I stopped at Starbucks and got a Venti Green Tea Frap with my gift card, because I love them.  Back at home, I was on a roll, and wiped down Bianca's inside windows, and the door wells (amazing how much dust and dirt accumulates there!)  Its also laundry day, vacuuming day, and a host of other things if I get the hankering to keep on keeping on.   But a nap is sounding better and better all the time :)

12:30 on 12/30 .... and I realize just how close we are to ending the year.  It was a year of one really big disappointment for me; but on the other hand, because of that, I spent three long weekend with my parents.  Being over 50 tells me that I should treasure every moment that I can spend with them.  So I guess in the long run, it balanced out.  Maybe that was the universe's way of telling me to pay attention to something important.  It is my hope, my plan, to do three more trips in the upcoming year to see my folks.  But my BigBox store may have a thing or two to say about the timing of them.

With my beach trip, and three trips to see the folks, that's a well planned upcoming year!  It's nice to have things to look forward to!  What are you looking forward to this year?  Have you given it a thought or two?  If not, you should!

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.

Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality.  

Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

-Lao Tzu

Friday Night Dream

Its 4am, no sleep to be found.......
Restless night, you'd think I'd sleep hard because of the extra early work hours this week.  Instead I toss and turn, my eyes burn, and when I do doze off, I am dreaming.

Something about moving product in the back of the store from one area to another.  But they didn't plan it out well and there are lots of product brought to me to be thrown out.  But not all things can be tossed, they're bad for the environment.  Two other men were helping me with the tossing out stuff.  I can remember throwing out lots and lots of those orange extension cords, and some kind of liquids in spray bottles that needed to be dealt with.

As I explained the process to someone - my mother perhaps? - I was showing her a computer model about what happens when you toss out things that shouldn't be tossed.  The animation runs by touching your big toes on two buttons.  You have to find the right rhythm, not too fast, not too slow, in order to keep the people in the model safe from the garbage that turns stuff to sludge.  We weren't doing so well, the people we could see on the screen were carrying buckets of sludge out of their homes.

Yeah, weird dream huh ?  it seemed to be a Sims style game program, which i liked waaaay baack when. 

I'm blue tonight.  Or maybe I'm just way over tired.

*later note.... so tired I fell asleep writing this. hehehe

'Fessin Up

OK .. if you looked in your bathroom drawer, or the medicine cabinet, how many of you would find those little tubes of toothpaste, or some old makeup, or other assorted items you accumulated over time?  I cleaned out a drawer yesterday, and found a couple of those little tubes of toothpaste - obviously I'd tucked them away thinking they'd be perfect to take on a trip.  Yes, those kind of trips that never materialized! *sigh* 

So... I used one up, and started on another.  This is part of my mission to reduce, minimize, get rid of clutter.  A new year is about to begin, and I aim to remove those things in it that hold me back, clutter me up.  Why?  To make room for new and good things to enter my life.  I'm a firm believer that when we hold on to things we don't need or use any longer, they clutter up our lives - and all that clutter obstructs our view of the new things that are just around the corner! 

A brand new year is just around the corner - and with the start of a new year, it can be a start to a new you.  So ponder the desires of your heart, break it down into manageable bits and pieces, map out a plan for this new year to make it better than ever!

Wait... how do you do that, you ask?  Well.  Lets say that my goal is to live in a new place, new city, new apt, new home.  For me, the way I plan is to start with Z, my goal, and work the steps in my mind.  Lets say I want to purchase a home.  I know that I need some cash, 10% down on an $120k house is $12k.  Break that down into 12 months, and I need to put $1k a month into some kind of savings.  (ok, big numbers, and probably unrealistic for most folks to put aside that much... but it easily shows what you need to do to reach your goal, right?) 

One of my goals for 2013 is a trip to the beach, stay in a hotel, bring Sadie with me of course, because I want some sunset pictures of the beach.  I want to sit and listen to waves, to walk along the water's edge and get my toes wet.  If it rains, I'll dance in the rain.  So how do I make this happen?  I plan:  When?  March or April.  Where?  California, of course, is the closest ocean.  Aprox 1200 miles, so $120 in gas, $200 in hotel and food.  If its in April, I need to put $50 per pay period into savings for that. 

With a little planning, I can make my heart's desire happen --- and so can you!

Listen to your Heart

What do you do when your friend is stuck and needs to make a change in an area of their life .... how do you help them constructively?  Friends don't always ask for help directly, and its hard to know what and when to say something to them.  I have a friend like that who needs to make a major change, but can't seem to find a way to reach that decision to do it.

So I took some time to gather up some infoblurbs I found about making decisions, and thought I'd share it here as well:  

When you have a decision to make, listen to your heart.

Your heart can’t lie. It knows what it wants. Just close your eyes and I am very sure, one choice will be in front of your eyes even if it’s higher by a small percentage. Go with your heart.

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~Flora Whittemore


Meditate on how it affects balance within your life. Then have the faith and will to carry out by action.

Ask yourself, “Who will it effect and what does my heart tell me?”

Imagine having made the decision. If you get a feeling of relief, that’s the way to go, even if it’s coupled with sadness.

Make a patient effort and have confidence in yourself as decision maker. Whatever choice you make is valid, as you can gain experience and wisdom through any experience, preferred or not.

Let go of fear.  Know there is no “right” or “wrong” decision. Any decision is better than indecision.

Go with your first instinct. The minute you second guess yourself or doubt your choice, then it goes all downhill from there.

Make the small decisions with your head and the big ones with your heart.

Take two pieces of paper and write down your options on each. Put them in a hat, close your eyes, and pick one. If you feel disappointed with the outcome, then you know that is the wrong decision to make!  (I liked this one myself!!)


Align your actions with your life purpose and personal values, and then it’s much easier to know the direction that is right for you. The prerequisite to this is actually knowing and defining yourself. Gain awareness. 

Be true to who you really are.



If you read this, my friend, know that I'm here when you need me.

Long Night's Moon

 
December 28th is the Long Night's Moon, sometimes called the Full Cold Moon, the month when the winter cold fastens its grip and the nights become long and dark.   If you haven't taken a look at this full moon, do it!  (But wear warm clothing -- its a chilly one!)


I read this about today's full moon:   Stay close to home and be nurtured. Feed your security with some simple things that make you feel safe, protected and supported. Work with the element of fire as a life giving force. Small intimate gatherings are preferable to large ones for this moon.

After the current intensity and the internal preparation for the Solstice time, this time up until the New Year may feel anti-climactic. Watch a tendency towards being intolerant, irritable or short with others around their neediness. Set your boundaries in a loving way and serve through the example of your own inner work instead of getting preachy about what you think is right. Keep as neutral as you can, stay out of Martyrdom and be patient with those who are still in it. 

Sounds like good advice to me... for today, and every day!  This is an important time to put some quality focus on creating goals and intentions for 2013 - not only for the coming year, but for the dream of the world you wish to see!

Are there plans for your weekend?  Or will you be chilling out, taking some downtime after this week's festivities?  It will be a quiet Saturday in this Gal's house ... back to work on Sunday, so it will be an important day as far as getting everything done that needs to be done ... including that all important R&R time! 



 

Got Dog?

It's such a better world today!   Ahhhh, its so nice to say that.  Work went well - it was busy, and that's good - the day went fast, but it was a much better day today.  And for that, I was grateful :)

Sadie is becoming a regular traveler in the car, and does well.  She knows to stay in the back seat (don't worry, I still have her clipped in so she can't go anywhere, even if she wanted to!).  But she doesn't bark at drive through windows any longer.  When we walk in the park, she's getting better and better about meeting other dogs - a quick sniff hello and then off we go again.  Being that pugs are a very friendly breed, she loves people.  If she could, she would greet every single person who comes within range of us.  She's getting better about that as well.  If the person near us seems to be a dog person, I let them make the first move toward saying hello to Sadie.  But there are also non-dog people and Sadie seems to want to convince those kind that "dogs are people too" lol. 

Today, a quick jaunt around the pond at Riparian (our fav place to go) and one of the guys fishing put down his pole and gravitated to Sadie saying he has three pugs of his own at home.  He petted her, talked to her, and she looked ready to take him home with us!  lol  Someone said:  'The best way to find a new boyfriend is to get a dog.'  --And how does that work exactly?--  'Well, firstly, you have to walk it several times a day, which gets you out and about. And secondly, it's a really easy way to meet people. Everyone talks to you when you've got a dog.'

It's true -- so far, Sadie hasn't met a person she hasn't liked!  

Overwhelmed!

Oh. My. Word.  *shew*  I am SOOOO tired today.  Christmas night is the night retail stores convert from a "Christmas" theme to "back to normal".  In my store, there was a crew of many people all doing cleanup, and changing things, moving things, etc.  For all those people working, they bring back many many things that can't be sold any longer -- which comes to me.  And so many of them were pulling the recalled things overnight too.  And vendors pulling their seasonal things off the floor to be sent back.  Of course, that doesn't include all the things customers were still bringing back late into Christmas Eve night.  -- WTF?  They opened gifts early perhaps? What a mess it was this morning!  I worked. and worked. and worked. and worked some more to get it all organized up and processed as much as I could.  And probably could have done more -- if I wasn't interrupted all day long with unnecessary questions. 

Lets just say "Overwhelmed" was the word of the day!!

One of the frustrations in what I do is that everyone assumes that I'm the "clean up act" and anything needing to be cleaned up falls under me.  A case of bathroom cleaner with bleach broke open, bottles leaking everywhere -- and what do they do?  put it in a plastic bag and leave it for claims. Bleach, being a corrosive, didn't stay contained in the plastic bag, of course.  So it was all over the floor -- waiting for me to clean up at 6am.

Some of the things brought to me are not returnable to vendors, so it ends up in the trash.  Someone overnight decided to toss out some pieces of wood - that were much to big for the compactor to handle, so they wedged in sideways.  And people who tossed in garbage after that, it just sat there, all blocked up and no where to go.  So .... yep... you guessed it, I was "workin' the garbage" for a good chunk of my day.

An MOD - (manager of the day) - now they're supposed to have an idea what to do with stuff, and give employees correct directions, directed a fast food restaurant employee to bring the empty CO2 soda carbonators from the restaurant to me.  Um, nu uhh, that's a hazardous container, empty or not, it cannot be tossed in the trash.  I told him to take it back up front, he should get "swap out credit" from his vendor.  But why did the MOD tell him to bring it to me in the first place?  Sheesh -- get a clue, pal!

I have a mountain of work waiting for me -- and much more will be added tonight, I'm sure.  But my priority tonight was to leave promptly at 3, and come home to Sadie, who'd been cooped up inside all day.  She makes me smile, coming home to her is a joy!  I took her to the park for a long walk, and just finished up dinner.  (I didn't share my glass of wine with her, though. hehehe) 

I'm hoping for a better day tomorrow :) :)

Pelicans

I'm big on animal totems and what they symbolize for us.

Today, on my walk at Riparian, there was a large number of American White Pelicans who've made a stopover here -- how amazing that I was actually walking in the park on that very day?  So I thought that might be important to follow up on.  Here's what I found:




Pelican demonstrates the power of reflection and insight, buoyancy in life and how ride the air currents of life. He teaches to rest and relax in spite of life's heavy weight. Pelican balances use of good fortune and abundance with responsibility and priorities. He has the ability to navigate emotions and aids in recovering what is lost whether it be emotional, mental or spiritual. Are you seizing the moment and enjoying what is before you? Do you recognize the abundance you already have? Perhaps it is time to count your blessings? Pelican aids in tapping into your feelings and putting them to wise use all the while peacefully balancing the world on your shoulders.

Single Bells

The one thing I hate about spending a holiday alone.....  is the day after at work 

when everyone asks all those "How was your holiday" questions.

How do you answer without sounding pathetic?  without arousing sympathy or pity?

Most of the time,  I do my best to avoid entering into the topic at all.

When it happens, I reply, "Great!" and turn the question on them,

hoping they're the kind who want to ebulliently expound on their day! 

Most times, it works.  For those who continue to ask details about 

my own day, I just say "the usual family activities..." and let it fall off.

The No.12 Rule of a Lady

Being single doesn't mean you're weak, 

it means you're strong enough to wait 

for what you really deserve.

Now Playing:  Luke Bryan's "Drunk on You" - and high on summertime.  Brings back thoughts of hot summer nights.  It's been chilly here in the Valley of the Desert.  Another 30 days or so and spring will be here - can't wait to watch the cactus burst into blooms.  Feb, March, April are most beautiful here!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!  

I told myself I wouldn't blog today - why?  Because I didn't want anyone knowing, to feel sorry for me - that the "poor single gal" - sitting at my computer, when I should be doing "something else".  But I don't write this because I want anyone's pity, no one needs to feel sorry for me.  

As a divorced single parent, I learned long ago that a holiday doesn't have to be spent on the exact holiday.  For many years, when my kids visited their dad for Christmas, I would hold the celebrations until they returned.  Often times, we did Christmas and New Year's together.  Sure, it made for a crowded day, but that's ok, we made it the best we could, we made it through.

Back when I was a church goer, there would usually be someone who wanted to do something for the singles, having a get together for those who had no where else to go.  It was usually a pretty good time.  But in the bigger picture, single folks who aren't with family today, are home. alone. 

So how does a single person turn that around?  How do you get up and do things that are not "conventional" in the eyes of a world who are coupled up?  I feel very lucky to have Sadie, my pug, this year .....   a built in excuse to be out walking in the park, around the block, or anywhere else.  But you don't have to have a dog to do that.  Take a walk, get out and enjoy nature -- use the excuse that you're walking off a big dinner if you feel the need! 

I've been up for a long time now; since I worked yesterday, and will work tomorrow, sleeping in today wasn't an option.  So I light some scented candles, and vacuumed, dusted and shark'd the living room while The Blind Side plays on DVD.  I'll head out with Sadie after the sun warms the desert, maybe head to my mountain or the park for a walk, take some pictures along the way.  

Take some time for reflection today; remember how blessed each of us are.  Don't fall into the trappings of the media with their preformed ideas of how your "day" is supposed to be.  Make it your own, no matter you situation.  Here's a big HUG from me to you! :)

Coupled Up?

It's 4am, and I am wide awake.  Not because I've had enough sleep.  I woke up because of dehydration and a headache.... I had a couple glasses of wine last night.  And why not?  It IS Christmas.  :)  Although a good reason not to have some -- I have never been one who enjoys drinking alone.  It just sounds .... lonely.

But the wine made it possible for me to sleep without remembering dreams.  Which is probably a good thing.  Lately, they've been puzzling, and feeling more real than they should. 

I decided to toss the coins - I don't usually give it a try at this hour of the day.  The messages can be difficult to interpret, and my brain isn't at my best at this hour of the morning - especially pre-caffeine!!

53: Gradual Development
Being at the beginning of a gradual development. As a beginner it is easy to run into trouble. As that is to be expected, there is no blame. It is a good idea to talk about the situation with the people concerned.

Well now.  What could be developing? 
Who are the people concerned? 

I know that a secret corner of my heart wishes it to be something in particular.   But I don't allow my mind to even think those thoughts any longer.  So I tossed them again, to see if there would be something else that would give me  clue,

32: Permanence
A permanent situation. There is progress, and nothing is wrong with it. It is good to go on, preferably according to some kind of plan.

So... is this development going to be something permanent?  It seems to be indicating that!  Because I'm an optimist, I find hope in that.  But in reality, maybe its not  a good development, but something I don't particularly want.  Could it be job related?  A new position in a new store might be warranted -- ours seems to be falling apart.  Or maybe its more like a ship without a rudder -- no one's steering the ship!! 

OK, they say that admission is the first step to recovery.
So I have to admit that when I toss the coins,
I'm usually trying apply it to my "love life".  
Of which there isn't one.
and so I have to chuckle at myself
(because laughing is less painful than crying)

I tell myself over and over again as I listen to the other girls at work talk about the men in their lives, that I'm glad that I don't have to deal with the stuff they do.  Its perfectly fine with me to live on my own, do what I want, when I want, without having to worry if my own wishes are interfering with someone else's.  But when it comes down to it, no one likes being alone all the time. 

Having someone to share life with would have more on the positive side than the negative side -- right?  Someone convince me!  haha

Then again, maybe not. 
Three marriages in my past tells me that
maybe I'm not meant to be coupled up.

Holidays

Christmas ideals change over the years.
They change with divorce, with kids being grown ups.
They also change as we mature
and decide that maybe it isn't
what we thought it would be.

My happiest holiday memories
isn't about the gifts I got.
The best ones have to do with family. 
And traditions.
Every year, driving into Santa Cruz to find
The Perfect Tree and Cutting it down
Maybe we'd stop at the beach,
or a fav restaurant for a meal or treat.

Christmas Eve was going to church,
singing the old carols
saving Silent Night for last
when all the lights would go out
and every person would hold a candle
waiting to be lit
The entire room would slowly turn
from dark to light

I carried this tradition on
with my own kids.
I hope they remember it
as fondly as I do.
Maybe they will when they get older.

We always opened gifts after church
on Christmas Eve
(because that's how the Swede's do it!)

Family and Love is at
the heart of Christmas.

Here's hoping your Christmas is filled
with both of those :)

Remembering Julie

It's been over a year, and I haven't heard from her.  I met her in a trivia-playing chat room, and we became friends over time.  One day, we had a conversation and she told me she'd been to the doctor, and was diagnosed with stage iv metastatic breast cancer.   I was floored.  Surprised.  Shocked even.  Her and I are the same age.  And we both work retail.  We had a lot in common.

We talked often about her situation, learned a lot about things that could be done, and things that couldn't be done.  She was strong and positive, and her mantra became FUCK CANCER.  She launched into chemo treatments, and they were rough.  She kept it light and didn't say how really bad it was, and I can't pretend to imagine I knew what it was like.

So tonight, a friend and I are lighting a candle out of concern, out of remembrance, for the friend who came into our lives.  Julie, wherever you are, we still think of you, talk of you fondly.  I miss you, and hope you are well.

"Suddenly, quietly, you realize that from this moment forth 

you will no longer walk through this life alone.  

Like a new sun this awareness arises within you, 

freeing you from fear, opening your life.  

It is the beginning of love, 

and the end of all that came before. 

~Robert Frost

Dream HUGS

 

Recharge not Charge it!

 “As our planet gets warmer, as animals go extinct, as the humans get sicker, as our economies bail and our politicians grow ever more twisted,” Americans just go shopping, Adbusters says on its Web site. Overconsumption is destroying us, yet shopping is “our solace, our sedative: consumerism is the opiate of the masses.” says Kalle Lasn

It's so good to know I'm not the only one. 

I took Sadie for a long walk in the park this afternoon.  And being on my own, its holiday time, how easy would it have been to cruise through some drive thru to pick up dinner.  Or better, cruise thru Starbucks for a Grande Green Tea Frappuccino.  Or worse, head to the local Wally World and shop my boredom away.  Nope. Didn't do it.  Instead, its home cooked spaghetti, an old movie and maybe some picture edits along the way. 

With people out doing their own thing - probably in the consumerism way - it was very peaceful at the park.  When there are few people in the park, the bunnies come out, you can hear the birds and crickets chirping away.  There's nothing like a mild day to watch birds as they laze in the sun a bit after a chilly night. 

It was a very peaceful walk, the solitude and being one with nature is great for recharging one's internal battery. 




Here's hoping you find your own way to recharge during this busy holiday season, without letting consumerism be your opiate!

You are what you eat

"You are what you eat."  How old were you when you first heard that phrase?

According to wiki at a glance, it was first used in 1826, then a book in 1942, and had a resurgence of popularity in the 60s hippy era.  Which leads one to think there is some truths in that statement -- we ARE what we eat!


Its so important to eat well these days.  But more important, know what's in the foods you're already eating.   The american diet these days consists way too much of prepared foods.  Yes, they certainly are convenient in this hurry up world we live in.  But at what point do we stop and say enough is enough?  How much more can we do?  And at what price?

If you care to research statistics, we're definitely a nation of people who are heavier on average than ever before.  And some may say because we're eating better.  I'm not sure that's true.   I think we're eating so many processed foods - and don't get me started on genetically modified ones - that real food seems very bland to us.

Do you read ingredient labels?  How long has it been since a label you read listed the ingredients as something you know - and wasn't laced with some kind of chemical or another?  Yes, I know the FDA has to approve something before it goes into things that are edible.  But do the studies actually take into account the number of foods we're eating with the same chemical in it?  or are their studies more narrow than broad?  And has it all been tested as an accumulative effect over 40, 50, 60 years even?    You are ... what you eat.

Wow, my thoughts aren't very focused.  And it all started with that old ad I happened to catch for Lays potato chips:  Betcha can't eat just one.   (BTW, Lays is a part of Frito-Lay and they're owned by Pepsico).   

Its my goal this year to eat better, healthier,
to cook my own foods rather than store bought prepared stuff,
and plan on being a better me this coming year. 

This is the time for those New Year Resolution thoughts....
"You are what you eat"

The Storm

Their apartment wasn't in the best of neighborhoods. 
Some might even call it squalid.
but as newlyweds it was all they could afford.

Their landlady was a little different, but quiet, raising her daughter alone.

It was a story evening, and they were beginning to cook dinner.
As often happened during storms, they fully expected to lose electricity.

He got out the bbq equipment, and began heating the coals on their little patio.
Earlier rains had gotten their rugs soaking wet.
They were vivid blue, with giant circles on them, each a different color.

She laid them out end to end on the walkway, underneath the canopy of trees.
It created a beautiful colorful tunnel,
and if you imagined closely, felt as if you were walking under water.

They were planning on a meal of hamburgers and soup.
Their apartment was an end unit, with some basement storage.
She slipped down there to get extra candles.

As the storm raged on, it dumped loads of rain.
Some of the rain accumulated on the sheet of plastic
that was hung as protection against the elements.

A gust of wind pushed the sheet of water all over her, coating the back of her legs.
The water scalded and she cried out.
For some reason, the rain water was very hot.

She winded her way back around the kitchen to find matches to light the candles.
She also wondered how to heat the soup with just the candle flame.
When she turned around, she found their landlady nestled into the arms of her husband.

From the looks of it, this wasn't the first time this had happened.
He cradled her, sheltering her from the storm, from her fear of storms.
He held  cigarette between two fingers, offering it to her lips,

as both her arms were clenched tightly around his neck.
The little girl just stood and looked on.
She glared, staring at them, then marched past the three of them

and kept walking
down the bluesy-green tunnel she'd created
and out of his life forever.


wow. strange dream!

Pond Walk

After dropping my son off at the bus station (depot?) - its hardly more than a girl behind a desk, what looks like a small clinic waiting room, and a back door leading out to the buses as they arrive - I headed over to Freestone Park with Sadie for an afternoon walk.  We cruised around in our usual path, coming across people who like talking to pugs.  Its a bit .... well, its a good thing Sadie is the ice breaker, as I'm terrible at small talk after "hi - how are you - great day for a walk"  lol 

Sadie is a natural, she just LOVES being around people - all kinds of people.  I can't ever remember meeting up with a person, or a dog, she hasn't liked.   What a good girl she is!  We walked around the pond and watched the ducks swimming around.

Its Sunny!

It's a beautiful sunny morning here in the Valley of the Sun, and that seems redundant to say!  Its nearly always sunny here, but lately, we've had a chill in the air, so the sun hasn't seemed so bright as it is this morning.  And I'm tickled pink!  Or maybe its lavender?  hehehe As soon as the sunlight hit the patio, I was sitting in my chair, in my lavender jammies, reading a book and sipping a diet coke.  Sadie, of course, was in th heaven as she loves being outdoors --- when her people are with her!  :)

By the way, the smile this sun is wearing matches my own!!!

Today, my son takes the bus south to spend the holidays with his dad and his sister.  It's not something he looks forward to, and that's kind of sad.  His sister always laments "You need to spend time with your family".  And I agree. He does.  However.  Its not time well spent if they're busy with their own lives and he's just "along for the ride" while he's there.  No one can replace the time they missed, or the regrets one has, at not doing something with our families when the opportunity arises.  I'm afraid that's one regret his dad will have at some point in his life.  While they're only two hours apart, his dad is a little to busy, or uninterested, in coming up and doing something with his son -- take him out to lunch, shop, do guy things.  But naw, that doesn't happen.  We've lived here almost five years.  I can count the number of times he's made an effort to come up here on less than 5 fingers. 

In order for my son to spend time with his dad on holidays, he takes a Greyhound bus down there.  Takes the same as driving time-- 2 hours.  And no one has to do the driving.  But does his dad offer to buy him a ticket??? Nope!  Who pays?  Me.  Because I think its important for him to see his dad.  Sadly, its not reciprocated. 

How does my son feel about going to see his dad?  While he recognizes that its important and something he needs to do, well, how would you feel about it?  In his defense, I don't blame him for resisting these visits -- who wants to visit someone who doesn't reciprocate????  And he's his DAD.  How sad I feel for my ex, who will never know what a great kid he has, because he doesn't take the time.  Yes, he has a few special needs, but that's part of what makes him unique, gives him quite a different perspective on life -- if you take the time to get to know him.  Quite the shame, "dad".

if you're reading this, I can't stress enough that you should be making an effort when it comes to your kids - grown or not, they need you, will always needs you.  Be there for them.

After I drop my son off, my question has been: What now?  What will I do with my day?  The sky is the limit, I can do anything I want -- but what?  Its such a nice day, supposed to be the nicest day between last week and this coming week, I may just spend it in my backyard.  With a book.  In the sunshine.  (I'm in the middle of a great murder mystery story - its been hard to put down all morning!).  Maybe a campfire tonight would be awesome.  A glass of wine or two.  Who knows what else from there *eyebrow waggles*  hehehe

PS:  To MrK - have fun with Zeus today!!!  :)

Whatta Week!

Beeeep * Beeeep * Beeeeep *
Ugh.
4:50 am and there's my alarm
Wait! alarm??
It's Saturday! WTF?

*laughs*  Come on, admit it,
you've done it too from time to time! 

It's been one of those kinds of weeks.
And I knew it would be, based on the way it started off.....
Monday morning was a very chilly 38 degrees. After I get dressed and ready for work, I usually walk the dog around the block.  We'd reached the first corner she wanted to turn back.  Ok by me!  Back into the house, I'm tossing a few things into my lunch bag - bread, tomato, protein bar - I gather up my purse, hook my badge on my collar, my work keys on my belt loop, zip my lunch bag shut, and turn to say goodbye to Sadie (who usually is scrambling at my feet in case I happen to drop something she can eat!) and she's not there.  So I set my car keys and lunch bag on the counter and wander around the house.  Mind you, its 5:25am and I don't want to wake anyone up, so I don't just holler for her.  I turn down the hallway and see she's already positioned herself in front of Brian's door.  (When I leave for work, I open his door a crack so she can crawl into bed with him and warm up!)  I guess after that especially cold walk, she was ready to hop in and get warm again!  I laughed, opened his door, and went back to grab my lunch bag and head off to work.  I slipped out the door, locking it behind me, and walk to my car.  And stop. And pat my pockets.  Then pat them again.  SHIT!  I left my keys on the counter.  Hm.  Now what?   So, I did the only thing I could think of:  I rang the doorbell.  And rang it again.  Then waited.  Nothing.  Press the button three more times.  I hear the door unlock and Brian peeks through the crack, saying "WTF?"  I could only bust out laughing as I told him I left my keys on the counter.   I waltzed back in, grabbed the keys and headed off to work.

Later that day, I sat down to lunch - still chuckling over my blonde moment and sharing the story with Helen.  As I'm talking, I'm getting things out of my lunch bag:  bread, tomato, knife to slice said tomato.  I looked back in the back and went uh, DUH!  I forgot lunch meat.  So... there I sat, eating my sliced tomato sandwich........

As you can see, it was the start of a helluva week!

Why is it that when something goes wrong right off the bat, it seems to set the tone for the entire week?  It didn't cause any harm, nothing bad happened that first Monday morning, but it felt as if the whole week was going to have these little mishaps in them.  I worked hard to keep that from happening.  I stopped at the bank on the way home from work to get some cash, and didn't take out enough -- I forgot I had to purchase Brian's bus ticket.  See?  Its those little irritating things we forget that just make for a harder week.  Of course, I had to go back to the bank another day...... lol

The little details of the rest of the week ended up working out in the long run.  We picked up the bus ticket and he's off to see his sister today.

Here's hoping for no little mishaps along the way :)

So Tired!

I am so tired today!
For some reason, Sadie didn't sleep much last night - I was up with her three different times.  Finally at 430am I decided I needed to get up and start my day. 

Inbetween getting up with Sadie, I was busy having dreams about an ex husband ... those always shake me up, because I wonder if there's any special message I'm supposed to get, or if I'm supposed to regret what happened?

*sigh*

For the past few nights, I've had many dreams.  And while I'm not writing them all down, nor am I remembering them, I'm always left with a lingering sense of something not all there; something missing.   But what are they trying to tell me? 

So I checked my iChing ... and got "Permanence.  There is nothing to be found here of what one is looking for."  

so is it saying something like ... what I'm looking for can't be found in the place that I'm looking?  I wonder if that's part of the dreams I had.  The one vision that lingered was of my ex as a younger man, well dressed, and smiling.  My wish list is more abstract than specific; its not about hair color or eye color, and more about character qualities!

On that note, since its getting late.....
Here's hoping that tonight's sleep is restful!

Entitlement

Wiki says:  In a casual sense, the term "entitlement" refers to a notion or belief that one (or oneself) is deserving of some particular reward or benefit — if given without deeper legal or principled cause, the term is often given with pejorative connotation (e.g. a "sense of entitlement").

Ok, that's some fancy talk.  I read that word some where, and we were talking today about how younger generations at my BigBox store have different ideas -  "not my job"  comes to mind, but in reality in a work environment, we should all be 'on the same page' .. 'working toward the same goal'.  Are the GenXers so focused on themselves, and "now", that they don't see themselves as part of a bigger team to reach goals?

My BigBox store gives out bonuses based on a store's performance, all of which is dictated in terms of sales, profitability and customer service.  And every employee, no matter how hard or how little they work at getting this bonus, all share in the spoils.  And it seems to me there's a sense that they don't care to give 110% in order to get this bonus every time its offered (I believe the max is around $550 for a three month period.)  I'm not motivated by money, but job satisfaction.  And that's a good measure of how successful I've been in doing my part.  (Now that I read back, perhaps this is all about pride as well.)

Today, we celebrated at work as our bonus payout came on today's paycheck.  It was a very nice chunk of spending money - they even brought in lunch to help celebrate.  Its not something they have to do, they just appreciated our efforts. We're not entitled to it -- it's offered.

But back to entitlement, I suppose some people in every generation, in all walks of life, feel like they have some kind of entitlement -- whether they care about doing a good job or not.  Which reminds me of Elvis.  Because of some work related issues in the past, he feels he hasn't been given the proper opportunities to advance up the corporate ladder.  *blink*blink*blink*  Funny, but it seems to me that if you want those opportunities to come your way, you have to work towards them, and earn them.  That's right - EARN them.  Prove your worth, go above and beyond.  Work smarter, not harder, in doing your current tasks and assignments; learn things that are "not my job" so when opportunities come your way, you can grab for the brass ring!  Opportunities are not an entitlement.  To my way of thinking, if you're asked to do something outside your job, and you're wanting to advance, you have to do that new task efficiently, along with completing your own tasks for the "yes, its your job" part as well!  

Nothing worthwhile comes easily. 

Work, continuous work and hard work, 

is the only way to accomplish results that last.

-Hamilton Holt

Uncluttered Update!

I uncluttered my desk, 

vacuumed my bedroom floor, 

dusted everything,

used up one lotion

and one potion

and lit a candle for ambiance!

I'm looking forward to 

a great night's sleep!!

Uncluttered me!

Here it is, Wednesday already.  It felt like a forever day, but at the same time, Wednesdays are usually a good day for me.  Work tends to be busy, and that's ok.  It's also the day a week's worth of work is picked up on the truck - so my entire area feels very clean after he's made the pick up.  And I like that feeling!

Have you ever noticed that sometimes its hard to get ahead of the clutter?  No matter how many times we tell ourselves "If only I was organized enough...."  when in fact, I think that's too difficult because we have too much stuff.  Clutter in our 'space' can make our minds feel overly cluttered too!

It's hard to avoid the fact that to live is to consume.  Our society, our culture, runs on consuming things.  While we can't avoid that altogether, we CAN limit the amount of stuff that comes into our homes.  To do that, we need to rethink our purchases, realizing that they cost far more than the price on the sticker.  Each purchase also requires time and energy once they're inside your home.  Question your purchases; ask yourself if its really needed; ask yourself if there's a place to store it when you get it home; and how much extra work will this possession add to your life? 

If you don't have easy, ready answers -- maybe you shouldn't be buying it!!

I've been on a No Buy code for the month of December.  While all buying can't quite stop, I slowed the process way down.  I did purchase a little outfit for my granddaughter, a shark steam cleaner, and two cabinets for the garage (but only because I had a one time offer of 20% off everything for one day only).  It hasn't been too hard to resist purchasing anything else -- who wants to stand in those long lines?  Ugh!

My plan for January, in order to reduce purchases, is to take an inventory of the canned and dry goods I have on hand, make sure they're not outdated, then plan meals around using up the old stuff before buying any more.  I know there's a box of spaghetti noodles in the cupboard, and a can of sauce, there may even be some meatballs in the freezer.  So there's a meal without having to buy anything (except maybe french bread??  that always goes good with italian meals!)  There are probably some cans of tuna, maybe some elbow macaroni - Tuna Casserole!  Or ... with a little milk, butter and flour, I can make a white sauce and have creamed tuna on toast.  Well, you get the idea.  Time to use up some of the old, and not buy anything for the time being!

Same with the little dabs of lotions, potions and creams in my medicine cabinet  -- use up what's there! I'm betting other women out there have the same kind of problems I do:  I want to try new products to see how well I like them.  But, I'm beginning to think that its better to stay with classic, time tested, tried and true products rather than buying things we aren't sure will work.  Lotion is a good example of that.  I'm not diligent about applying it on a daily basis (and I should be!), and I tend to have several different kinds.  But my last purchase was good old fashioned Jergen's, which I will stay with from now on, and stop buying the "latest and greatest". 

It isn't difficult, once you put your mind to it, to decide to buy less. 
Free up some space, have a place for everything, and get uncluttered! 

i loved

11pm Tuesday night
and i am exhausted
from running
in a dream
from a bad guy
who was trying to
devour and kill me
with torture
and a john deere tractor.

This time, I know my trigger.
I received a text
a part 2 of something
not intended for me.

Why do I let it bother me?
I know in my mind
he's not mine
never will be.

Why do I let it bother me?
I know in my mind
and have said all along
I'd be replaced.

Why do I let it bother me?
I hate knowing in this case
I was a "dumb blonde"
and got strung along.



And then i get mad at me
all over again.  Because
no matter how much i
whine about the situation
what it comes down to is this:
i let it happen.
i believed
i trusted
i loved

Complacent

How many of us become complacent after a time in  our lives?  Think about your job - if you've been doing the same job, after a while we all get a little complacent.  We know the details, what needs to be done, and more often than not, I'm betting you could do it half asleep.  I know I can.

What about relationships?  Our family lives become cluttered with routine and errands, events and chores.  That allows us to become complacent - accepting things as they are. Which means we forget the little things, the little changes, that help us be happy, and keep complacency out of our lives.

I found this good quote:  

 “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” -Jon Krakauer, In to the Wild

Never settle - don't fall into complacency!
Yes, challenges and change can be scary -
but we need to step out of our comfort zone from time to time,
challenge our being, in order to find more joy in our lives! 

Yes, TS, you can do it, too!

Mondays

Today was a pretty good day overall.  I accomplished lots.  Not so much extra stuff work wise; that was a typical Monday work load.  It was the things accomplished after work that were so good. 

A quick checkup at the doc -- everything's OK --
then off to the bank
a detour to Starbucks for a Grande Green Tea Frappuccino
home to walk Sadie
wrap, wrap, wrap gifts
play with Sadie
clean kitchen
play with Sadie
cook dinner
play with Sadie
eat
play with Sadie
clean kitchen again
play with Sadie
Shower
play with Sadie
Lotion top to bottom
play with Sadie
blow dry hair
play with Sadie
take vitamins
play with Sadie
get in bed
......
and now Sadie still wants to play. hahahaha

Happy Monday, folks :)

Only You

Chasing Tail

Have you ever felt as if all you do is chase your own tail?  haha that doesn't mean I think you have a tail, its just a phrase for doing the same thing over and over again.  Take today.  I went and did my thing at the grocery store, and came home with a pack of toilet paper.  No sooner had I taken it out of the bag and set it in front of the bathroom door, Sadie was all over it, chewing it to bits.  Now I have to vacuum the floor - again.   

But with a puppy, its like having a two year old.
Everything you do, you have to do again.  
At least once. 
Every day.  

Pugs aren't notorious as being good outdoorsy type dogs.  They are definitely indoor dogs, and love attention.  I found a website that describes them:

"When you describe what it’s like to live with a Pug you’re struck by the fact that these dogs are almost like living with another person or even a little child. They like to be with you, they always want your attention, they run to greet you when you arrive home, they’re always looking for something to eat and they’re always ready to play! You’re describing a dog with a great personality. You’re actually describing another member of the family!If you've ever wanted a true companion, someone who will greet you at the door when you arrive home, a Pug is the perfect way to complete your life. If you've ever wanted to experience unconditional love, one of the little guys is just what you're looking for. Cute, loyal, lovable and endlessly entertaining are just a few of the words you can use to describe this adorable breed of dog." 

 
Well, as much as I adore my lil Sadie -- it can be bothersome at times to never feel caught up and on top of things.  The minute you get to the top, something falls over and you're doing it all again!  

Which just means that she keeps me busy - 
and I luvs her in spite of that!  :)
 

3 on Sunday

Sunday is my laundry day.  Yes, I have my own washer and dryer.  Yes, I can do laundry any day I'd like to.  But it makes life easier if I just pick a day to get it all done.  So every Sunday, its three loads.   Bedding, darks and lights.  I don't get too excited about clean khakis or navy polos for work - but I'm sure my co-workers appreciate the fact that they're clean and fresh! haha  What I do like, however, is clean towels in the bathroom, and clean jammies.   And ahhh the wonderfulness of clean sheets on the bed.  Nothing is better than crawling into a bed of clean sheets on a Sunday night - a perfect way to start off the work week :)

According to the weather guys, its only 43 degrees here in my corner of the Valley of the Sun.  But I braved the elements and ventured out to take Sadie for a walk.  I chuckle at the word "elements" though.  We don't have much in the way of various weather elements -- either the sun is shining, or it isn't!  :)  We've had overcast sprinkly days for two days and today, the sun is shining in all its glory.   Sadie and I schlepped around an extra block on our walk because it was so nice!  Even the birds are happy that the sun is shining, they're all singing their own tunes as well!

As we turned into our driveway at the end of our walk, it struck me how it was going to be a beautiful day.  The mesquite tree out front is very fragrant after a rain - smelling a little woodsy and clean.  The dryer vent from the garage is along the front walk as well, and my sheets were drying, the smell of warm Gain in the air.  I opened the blinds on all the windows to let in the light; after pulling my warm sheets from the dryer, I snapped them into play on my bed .... ahhhh my Sunday night will start off well, don't you think?? :)

By the way,
does anyone
still hang sheets
on the line?

I remember Mom
doing that when I
was a kid :)

Morning!

I am a morning person.  I can't remember how long I've been a morning person; as a teen, I loved sleeping in and staying up nights.  Guess it switched somehow when I became responsible for others, became a mom, and grew up. 

Here in the Valley of the Sun, the wide open skies make it light very early in the morning.  Usually.  This morning was quite the exception.  With unusual rain for the past 48 hours, it was cloudy and at 730 there still wasn't any morning light to speak of. 

Which made me want to crawl back into bed until light reached the windows here.  And in fact, I did just that -- crawled back into bed and finished up a book I'd been reading:  Edge of Evil by J.A. Jance.  she writes good mysteries, nothing too complicated, but the neat part about reading them is they're set in Arizona, right here in the Valley for the most part, and landmarks, highways and towns are all familiar names.  A big part of the story involves the Sugarloaf area -- seen here. 
That part makes me smile :)

The characters are easy to identify with - the good guys and the bad guys.  But one of the things that stands out for me was this paragraph:

"All those years I lived with my [ex-husband] I was a mealy mouthed namby pamby. I put up with his bullshit and got along no matter what.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about that the last couple of days and wondering why I did it, and I think I've finally figured it out.  I did it because I was afraid something might change.  Afraid something might happen.  Afraid that if he dumped me I wouldn't be able to make it on my own."

How many of us go through parts of our life afraid?  afraid of change?  afraid we aren't good enough?  afraid of being alone?   The hardest thing in the world is to change our thinking, to stop being afraid.  Trust me, I know.  It's hard. but its not impossible.  Each of us is worthy of living the life we're meant to live, the one that makes us happy.  We deserve to be happy, to be respected, to be loved.   Yes, you too, TS.

In the story, Ali gets "cut loose" from her job, finds out her husband's been cheating on her, and relocates back to Arizona only to find her best friend from high school has died.  Suicide? Murder?  As lots of mayhem ensues, we're drawn in to the story, and find that Ali is no longer afraid, who finds that she CAN make it on her own.

Life changes.  Every day.
But sometimes we're the ones who need to do the changing.

dream

Dreams are amazing things, leaving us with impressions more than a detailed story or movie type scenario.  A few nights ago, I remember dreaming about my son who really liked white satin tuxedo type suits -- think Elvis, right?  hahaha  very weird, because my son prefers black, dark clothing.

Last night was no exception - vivid dreams and I woke up to make a few notes on the netbook.  I was in a house, with a pool.  I got the impression it was more well-to-do than my own home. hehehe  There was an entryway, with a large heavy wooden door.  The front walk was that kind of cement that has rock pressed into it- and it passed over some kind of unlevel ground, almost like a creek bed, there were  lot of bushes and trees.  I was saying goodbye to someone who drives a truck.  I wrote the word dusty down -- was the truck dusty?  was he dusty?  someone who worked I suppose?    I was reading a book on the couch, which faced the entryway.  Off to the side of the door was a construction entrance covered, hidden in cardboard.  There was a knock on the door. (Did I answer it?  I must have .... details are sketchy now)

There was a mother and young daughter leaving, the daughter ran back in for her headphones which had been left on the shelf next to the fish tank. 

There was a tube of rolls of clear packing tape, which I tossed into the bathroom where someone sat.  (um, what do you need tape for, in the bathroom???? hahaha)  Opening the door that led to the construx workers environment, asked if he needed anything, he said no, all is ok.  I told him I thought I'd heard a knocking, ok, and smiled back at him.

Then I was saying goodbye to The Guy.  With the truck.  He stood on the front step, wearing jeans, work boots and a t-shirt emblazoned with the word "esplanade", holding his hat with one hand, the other circled around me.  I hugged him tight, and cried and cried.  He was gay.  I watched him kiss another man, but realized I wanted him for me.  

goodbye
goodbye
goodbye


Wow.  Very odd dream.  When I woke and started making notes, the word 'esplanade' seemed to be very important.  In my half sleep state of mind, I tried googling, but I didn't catch a connection between the word and what my dream was about. 

According to Wiki:  An explanade is a long, open, level area, usually next to a river or large body of water, where people may walk. The original meaning of esplanade was a large, open, level area outside fortress or city walls to provide clear fields of fire for the fortress' guns. In modern usage the space allows people to walk for recreational purposes; esplanades are often on sea fronts, and allow walking whatever the state of the tide, without having to walk on the beach. 

(photo from usclibrary, entitled Strolling down 

the Newport Beach Esplanade .. ca. 1905)

Well. that doesn't make much sense to me either. 
Who was I really saying goodbye to?
 I wrote it three times in my note taking. 
So I assumed the way I wrote it was important as well.

Most of the time, we never know the real answers to our dream questions - but it sure can be fun to write down the details and ponder the possibilities!

Parties

Work Christmas Parties - I used to like them a lot.  I suppose it had to do with how they're arranged.  Back in my younger days, I used to work for a forklift company (Clarklift of San Jose), and we usually had a very nice Christmas Party.  We'd dress up and meet somewhere for a nice meal, mingling with the rest of our co-workers and their spouses.  Now that I look back on it, however, one of the nice things about it was it was held on a night when everyone could come and enjoy the festivities.  We held it at different places each year, sometimes with themes.  Those were good times :)

Topical thoughts for today, because it was our Party at my BigBox store.  And there is NEVER a good time to have a gathering for retail employees of any kind, because all don't work the same schedules, the same days, etc.  There is never a time when the store doesn't have people working in it.  So when and where do you have a party? 

"Down the street" at a local place, hall, hotel meeting room just doesn't work, because those who are working at the time don't get to enjoy it.  My store has tried having the party in the building, but where can you seat and feed 300+ employees all in one sitting?  I haven't attended any of our last few parties because the tables to eat at were set up in the cold drafty hallway, and you stared at the same walls you see every day, all day long. Ugh.  Today, the Party was held in the break room, they catered in some Italian food, and it was very good!  The party was more of an all day event, which meant there was room for everyone to have a place to sit for their meal. 

And I won a prize!! 
A $10 gift card to
Coldstone Creamery. 
lol :)

All that really matters...

 The Lost Christmas Eve - Christmas Canon Rock 

For we are all born mortal
Like stars and candlelight
And all that really matters
Is what we do before we fall asleep each night

If you've never read the story, you can do that here 

A few years ago, I tuned in to an internet radio station, where a DJ with a nice voice read the story and played the songs.  Its an interactive kind of presentation as a whole package, with a story and music to augment the meaning of the story. 

While there's different meanings for everyone during the holiday season, there are two aspects that are a part of it for me.  The presents, the tree, the trimmings are all nice, and perhaps add to the mood, but the important things are showing the people we love that we love them.  And the season brings about hope.  Hope for the new year, hope for change.  I think if we live like this says, we would have no regrets:

All that really matters

Is what we do

before we fall asleep

each night.