Is there such a thing as coincidence?
Or is there a much bigger picture than we can see or imagine?
How many times have you ever made note of something, then have that same topic come up in several different ways - and you finally smack your forehead and go "DUH" I should have been paying attention to the sign?
It's been that way for me lately. I follow a few different blogs, read my friends' postings on FB, and listen to friends and coworkers with issues. And I'm coming up with a theme that rather than preachin' about it back to friends, I outta be listening to myself.
I'm a unique individual with what I think is a slightly enhanced sixth sense about things. Or its something else others don't believe in -- but that's neither here nor there. When something comes up often, I tend to really pay attention and see how it should be applied to me. And I know deep in my soul that its one I should heed. But can't seem to do it. It's not like I haven't tried.
When it comes to breaking a habit, or making a change, even those that are necessary aren't always easy! Take smoking for example. We all know its bad for you, unhealthy, costly, etc. For me, quitting wasn't hard, I just decided one day and poof, I was done. Because you can not have them around you, and you just don't need them any longer. That was in 1986. I will confess that every now and then, someone will light up and the smellllllll, mmm, your body remembers. *sigh* Its harder with food. You can't just give up eating. So you try to make the right choices, have the right foods on hand. Again, not always easy; you can avoid having those Hershey bars in the house and it's all good. But you can't quit foods altogether. You just relearn eating habits and what helps you to feel better.
But its harder to decipher when relationships aren't healthy any longer. Because they involve another human, the dynamics can change; one day may seem better than another, and you try to make a choice based on the checks and balances of good and bad. It's one of the hardest things I've found to teach my kids -- of course, I wasn't such a great example while they were growing up, exposing them to three different marriages. I've always believed in the best side of people -- when in fact, there are people out there who take advantage of that, who don't try to be their best.
So at what point do you finally recognize the signs, and realize that while others may be having obvious signs for their own relationships -- that these may be your own signs? Sometimes relationships need to end. It's never an easy decision, and everyone will have their reasons. But consider this: Whatever the reason, if you're constantly hurt, undermined or let down by this person, you owe it to yourself to walk away. If you are making excuses to stay with your love, learn to call yourself out on them. It is quite possible that you've fallen into a vicious justificatory cycle that you'll never break free from unless you acknowledge it openly. Realize that being stoic and putting up with a bad situation will only end in faster aging, resentment and feeling like you're putting up with second best
Life needs to be lived. And its impossible to live a good life if you're not happy.
While often hard, walking away from a love that will never work
can sometimes be the best thing you can do for your sanity and future well being.
And don't stop reading those signs!
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