Brian's Saga

My son is 27, and visually impaired.  Because of his impairment, he has always been behind his peers in maturity.  He hasn't had many relationships with girls, and he tends to believe the best of everyone - even those who have their own agenda(s), antd no qualms about using any means to get what they want.   Its a lovely trait, but can mean trouble for someone like him.


He met Leeah on the internet, and they began dating.  I tried not to get involved and let him find his own way, but I kept an eye on things as best I could -- what Mother wouldn't?  After a couple of months, he got the nerve to ask me if he could spend the night with her.  It was considerate that he asked, and of course I used my motherly position to remind him not to do anything stupid, and to always wear a "raincoat".  He gave the usual sigh teenagers reserve for parents who are being overprotective and said "I know..."  (I had a gut feeling about this from the get-go....)

The relationship continued, and seemed a normal kind of thing, and it wasn't my place to interfere.  Although, I wasn't thrilled when I met her for the first time.  She's a couple years older than he is, and has a four year old daughter.  What worried me is the next day and they had an argument over the phone -- what was it about?  "why doesn't your mother like me."

Hm, quite the insecure type, she told me she was a little on the shy side, but I'm thinking "naw, that's not it .... 'princess' is more apt"   We shall see.

In six months, there were several incidents such as this:  little tiffs over little things (in my opinion) with wide mood swings, threats to break up, and a short time later, making up again.  But they're in love, and want to move in together.   Being the mom that I am, I advised against this, but Leeah pushed for it, and so did he.  I wanted to know more about her and her situation but details were sketchy coming out. (Always makes me suspicious when facts are evaded)  Leeah has an eviction against her, some big credit card debts and her divorce isn't even final yet. 

"B .... this isn't a good thing, its not good timing, let her get her life back in order and on her feet before you make this kind of commitment."  Well, I'm assuming of course that he told her this, and she had answers for everything, she can get an apartment through something called "Second Chance".... when I googled it:   Arizona Second Chance, LLC helps formally incarcerated individuals become contributing members of their community.    whoa......  but she isn't incarcerated, so that can't be right.  But its the beginning of something fishy.    

After not buying that part of the story, the next part I get is "her mom gave her a month to find her own place and get out..."  Well, I can truly understand giving your kids a push to get out on their own, but in this case, does a mother do this when the girl has nothing?  No car, has only just started her new job, and has a child too??   Most parents, I think, would extend the time frame, give her a chance to get on her feet again .... be a helping hand for a few more months.  But not in this case. 

Against my advice, they decide to go ahead, find a place to rent.......... 
 
I'll keep you posted!  

(I'm writing this after the fact .... about a month later, as I had no idea where this would go, so I'm putting the background story into two parts, to catch you up to speed..... )