How are you?

When things finally caught up yesterday, and I had a minute to sit down, someone asked, "How are you doing?"  of course, most of us are asked this many times a day.  And if you're like me, the standard answer is "I'm OK."   Yesterday, I answered "I'm ok, I'll survive."  And I realize now that he was making it a joke when he made a comment about the surviving part.  But I got a little peeved, and asked if he wanted to know the real truths:  That I cried yesterday, or that sometimes minutes seem like hours?  And I shouldn't have said anything at all.  I know better, and usually keep a pretty good guard on myself not to let anyone else see that part of me.  And to my friend:  I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything at all.  I'm OK.

And its true:  I will survive.  I've survived lots in my past.  And there will be more things that need to be survived in the future.  That's just how life is.  Relationships last for a while:  a reason, a season, a lifetime.  I think the ones that are hardest to let go are the ones we think are for a lifetime.  Or maybe we hope? dream? that they're for a lifetime.  Sometimes its takes a good hard look at things to know that we're wrong in our thinking.  Or maybe its to admit we're wrong in our thinking.  Either way, when we finally realize the error of our thinking, that's when its time to change something.

Oddly enough, I've been doing the whole pondering thing of changes.  And yet when I tossed some iChing coins yesterday, I got :  "What one is waiting for is still at quite a distance. One better count on it taking quite some time to arrive. There is nothing wrong with doing so."  And I cried.  Not because its "at a distance", but because I thought I was finally letting go. 

Ok, I'm gonna post this -- I've been pondering it all day and its not getting any better. lol My brain must be tired from an extra morning at work.  Hope you all have a terrific week!